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December 31, 2009

Go, Crystal Ball, Go!

Posted by The MaryHunter at December 31, 2009 8:05 AM

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We've looked back, so now, let's look ahead. As it's the season for predictions, here are a few notable looks into an uncertain 2010 from NRO writers and editors:

JOHN DERBYSHIRE:
  • Barack Obama's illegal-immigrant aunt, Zeituni Onyango, will not be deported. (Copied that one from last year, too.)
  • The GOP will make good, though not great, gains in the midterms. They will immediately embark on a strategy guaranteed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Go Stupid Party!
JONAH GOLDBERG:
  • Chris Dodd loses his election. Capital police need to use a crowbar to loosen his grip on his office desk.
  • Harry Reid loses re-election bid, calls results an "evil lie, bought and paid for by the insurance companies."
  • Keith Olbermann takes himself so seriously, he cuts off his left hand to emphasize his seriousness about the public option. (He waves bloody stump at paramedic, yelling "don't touch the hair!").
HEATHER MAC DONALD:
  • The consumption habits of every delegate to the Copenhagen global-warming conference will be a model to the world: i.e., they will match or rise above pre-conference consumption levels through uninhibited use of airplanes, air conditioning, computers, flat-screen TVs, iPods, and every marvelous object in our life that depends on energy for its manufacture and delivery.
  • Democrats will hound the banks to increase their lending, especially home loans, to credit-poor minorities.
ANDREW STUTTAFORD:
  • [...] the AGW jalopy will trundle along (cap-and-trade, not so much) regardless. Those who drive it have too much invested in AGW (or stand to make too much from it) to be able to admit that this is more complex a subject than they currently admit.
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So... what are YOUR predictions for 2010? Ruth Bader-Ginsburg? Iran? Pakistan? Michael Moore? George Soros? Michelle-My-Belle? Time to don the turban and let 'er rip. Please keep them only slightly off-color, if possible. Or, not.

Here's one to start off:

  • Rush Limbaugh will make a full recovery, return to his EIB command center, and deliver a most exquisite, line-by-line dope slapping to President Obama in response to his State of the Union address lie fest.

(God bless you, Rush! Get well soon!)