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September 23, 2009

Comrade Obama's UN Speech, Cliff Notes Version

In case you didn't have the time or the stomach to sit through Obama's speech to his fellow arthropods at the United Nations today, I've condensed it into six words:

America sucks, but I am great.

Unsurprisingly, the speech was a big hit with Muammar Gadhafi, whose hands drip with American blood from terror attacks in Berlin and over Lockerbie, Scotland. Mad Mo praised Chairman Zero as a "glimpse in the darkness," and wished he could be president forever.

Fidel Castro, who urged the Soviet Union to attack America with nuclear weapons, also loved the speech, gushing,

It would only be fair to recognize that no other United States president would have had the courage to say what he said.

Or rather, no other president would have been half so contemptible.

I wonder how many people who voted for Obama are able to meet their own eyes in the mirror.

Where are asteroids when you need them?

Posted by Van Helsing at September 23, 2009 7:57 PM


It takes no courage to apologize for the actions of your predecessor, and then proclaim how you are the solution to all the world problems. What that takes is narcissism. That and a deep-seated antipathy for the very country you lead. This fool has a lot of damage yet to do.

Posted by: Beef at September 23, 2009 8:36 PM

You sir have captured this crime almost. If there exists a constitution, Obama functions outside of it.

Only outside of it.

Posted by: chillguy33 at September 23, 2009 9:04 PM

a inspiring speech to his fellow despots,tyrants,dictators and terrorists

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at September 23, 2009 9:06 PM

Exactly, Beef. Where is the courage, exactly? He's just rehashing his blame game on Bush. What courage? All I see here is a little man too happy to attack his straw man while tyrants and ennemies of his country are cheering for it.

Posted by: Jay B. at September 23, 2009 9:13 PM

"Look at me. Look what I've done!" was what I heard him saying.

Posted by: C-Bug at September 23, 2009 9:15 PM

"America sucks, but I am great."

Yep. Nuff sed. I'm shocked he didn't do a "Reverend" Wright and just come out and say "God Damn America!" Only in The Liar's words it would have been "Allah Damn America!"

Excuse my French, but F*CK Obama. He is a cockroach in America's pantry.

Posted by: Jimbo at September 23, 2009 9:23 PM

The Obama Candidacy & Presidency in 6 words: "America sucks, but I am great."

No surprises here, but thanks for taking the bullet so the rest of us didn't have to.

When can we impeach this guy for treason already?

Posted by: Nunya at September 23, 2009 10:19 PM

Obama, in his 40 minute speech, said I or referred to himself every 17 seconds. Can't find where I read that now.

Posted by: Eric at September 23, 2009 10:22 PM

We have a problem.
After the silent majority (conservatives) throw out all the radical socialist liberals (democrats), what do we do with them?
We need some kind of guide as to how they should be cooked properly.
Where can I find a hippy cooking guide? Shouldn't it be published where everyone can see it?

Posted by: Anonymous at September 23, 2009 10:36 PM

I still don't get it, and I hope some one asks the Big Zero. If it's wrong for the US to meddle in other countries affairs, why does he feel justified to order Israel around and threaten Honduras if they don't restore their would-be Chavez Jr. to power?

Man I feel gypped. It would have been cool to see the first black president, but he turns out to be a total moron with dictatorial aspirations. (it's also ironic that the first black president belongs to the "party of the white man" that faught for slavery, jim crowe, and the KKK.

Posted by: Unonymous at September 23, 2009 11:09 PM

"I wonder how many people who voted for Obama are able to meet their own eyes in the mirror."

No problem, these people thrive on childish contemptibility (see above). They actually think that makes them rebels. Don't bother with the TRUTH, they've never accepted it before.

Posted by: TED at September 24, 2009 1:30 AM

Over 9000 Over 9000 Over 9000 Over 9000 Over 9000 Over 9000 Over 9000

Moderators, care to clean up this mess please?

Posted by: Cylar at September 24, 2009 1:44 AM

Posted by: TED at September 24, 2009 3:45 AM

Obama, in his 40 minute speech, said I or referred to himself every 17 seconds. Can't find where I read that now.

Posted by: Eric at September 23, 2009 10:22 PM

I think this is what you are refering to.

Posted by: funkendunkel at September 24, 2009 5:10 AM

Jamal, isn't there a dark, damp cave you should be going to so as to give your favorite goat a "Rusty Trombone".

Posted by: funkendunkel at September 24, 2009 5:17 AM

Jamal, talk about shutting down the voice of the people. Which party do you belong to,er, Democraps?

Posted by: Itsabigcountry at September 24, 2009 5:42 AM

Hey, Jamal was just making art. Check it out: if you stare at the screen whilst "Over 9000" scrolls rapidly past, you can see a 3-dimensional picture of Obama, repeatedly putting his head in and out of his arse.

Very cool, Jamal! :D

Posted by: pomalom at September 24, 2009 6:14 AM

Jimbo: "He is a cockroach in America's pantry" HAR! What a great description!

Perhaps we could set out a bunch of cockroach "hotel" bait stations on Capitol Hill where he and his fellow cockroaches...Pelosi, Biden, Murtha, Reid, Dodd, Kerry, Waters, Boxer, etc. could "check in, but not check out."

Posted by: Graycat at September 24, 2009 7:10 AM

"I wonder how many people who voted for Obama are able to meet their own eyes in the mirror."

Pretty much all of them. He expresses their view of America as evil, power mad, twisted, racist, homophobic, with designs of empire. They love it when he spits on the country in public.

(Can someone help me with the picture? I can't quite see the strings being pulled by Soros. Is there a way to enhance the contrast of something?)

Posted by: chuck in st paul at September 24, 2009 7:32 AM

... of something? ---> or something

Posted by: chuck in st paul at September 24, 2009 7:33 AM

"America sucks, but I am great"

Fail English class much? Generally, when you try to summarize something like this, you have to show - ya know - evidence. Like quotes from the speech. Unfortunately there are none to support this. Unless you equate "America" with "the Bush Administration". Unfortunately, America is what it is (as Belichick would say), and there are people here who don't agree with you. We're Americans too, even if you hate that, threaten us, etc. America is what it is.

No need for evidence when you can't think for yourself. When "Obama bad Nazi" can literally sum up the entire depth of you political "analysis", I suppose I can't fault you for little things like not presenting evidence. Walk before we run....

And you really want to play the "If person X endorses person Y, then Y is responsible for X's policies" nonsense? Really? Can't that easily be used to undermind just about anyone?

I'm sorry - all of this requires some level of thoughfulness.

Like I said - walk before we run....

Posted by: brs at September 24, 2009 8:07 AM

My parents used to have a cat named Muammar due to his mean disposition and occasional acts of feline terror throughout the house. Upon reflection, this may have been one of many things that enabled me to develop into someone other than a raving lunatic.

Posted by: I'm A Lasagna Hog at September 24, 2009 8:41 AM

I wonder what Sarah Silverman is singing these days.

Posted by: J at September 24, 2009 8:44 AM

"He is a cockroach in America's pantry."
(That was inspired, Jimbo.)

Of course Muammar and Fidel want him to stay president forever....his threat level to them is "−459.67°Farenheit".

Posted by: Jules at September 24, 2009 1:57 PM

When the day comes that ANYONE else representing their country goes to the UN and bags his country, goes on a world tour and bags his country, I will listen to you. Until then I will skim past.
And as for an attack on my intelligence - save your breath.
The Irish have as part of a song I heard:-

When cowards mock the patriot's fate,
Who hangs his head for shame?
He's all a knave or half a slave
Who slights his country thus:

And don't bother about the self-serving bullshit that he is bravely admitting to mistakes.
Admitting to mistakes of others is a form of narcissim.

Posted by: Jim at September 24, 2009 2:17 PM

Not only that, it presumes they were actually mistakes.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 24, 2009 3:44 PM

It takes guts to spend 5 min. reading a speach rather than letting a biased reviewer boil it down for you. He and most of you already have your minds made up about everything and see a world with hate colored glasses. There is a silent majority that thinks for themselves and does not want what haters want. We will not stand idly by as the right wing "thinkers" add their brand of hate to our lives. People start reading and thinking for yourselves. Don't rely on others to think and read for you. Read the facts NOT someone elses take on it. Form you own opinion BEFORE you talk to others to make certain you are in concert with haters. I don't agree with everything Obama or Bush did, but I did not promote hate and division either.

Posted by: Mr Goodwrench at October 1, 2009 9:26 AM

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