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September 25, 2009

California Econazis Impose Crushing Fines Over Blender

The Orange County marketers and Phoenix makers of the gas-powered Party Blender have been fined an outrageous $240,000 by the California Air Resources Board for selling drink-mixers that oppress the polar bears. Intones CARB Enviroreichsfuhrer Mary D. Nichols:

Gasoline-powered blenders may be this year's tailgate sensation, but drinkers should not be polluting our air while having a good time.

Air2air lists a few reasons California's moonbat rulers cannot permit the Party Blender:

• Carbonated drinks increase the carbon footprint.
• You should be out working to pay taxes to your government — not drinking.
• Possibility of injury from flying lime peels.
• Groups of tailgaters congregating together exhale considerable CO2.
• Margarita salt is soon to be banned by the FDA as a health risk.
• The gas-powered blender lobby has not contributed to political campaigns.
• The manufacturer has not yet introduced gas-powered teleprompters.
party-blender.jpg
Forbidden in the People's Republic of California.

Posted by Van Helsing at September 25, 2009 8:37 AM

Comments

What else will these green jerk demand we here in the north of KALIFORNIA have aways been wanting to suceed from the state and with SOUTHERN OREGON become the STATE OF JEFFERSON

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at September 25, 2009 9:15 AM

Says CARB chairperson Mary D. Nichols:

"Gasoline-powered blenders may be this year's tailgate sensation, but drinkers should not be polluting our air while having a good time."

The only air pollution is the CO2 emanating from this woman's piehole.

Posted by: Anonymous at September 25, 2009 9:39 AM

but but will it blend?

www.willitblend.com

Posted by: Stephana at September 25, 2009 9:52 AM

10 bucks says the guys that cut her lawn use gas powered mowers, gas powered trimmers, gas powered leaf blowers, and they get there in a gas powered truck. Good thing she's full of gas.

Posted by: man of few words at September 25, 2009 10:10 AM

Its all about control over the little guy to make big money for the big guys.

Posted by: Fred Dawes at September 25, 2009 10:45 AM

Tell 'em to shove their fine up their kazoos and move to Nevada or South Dakota (like thousands of others who got the wake-up call).

Posted by: chuck in st paul at September 25, 2009 12:16 PM

You mean I can make margaritas anywhere! SWEET!

Posted by: theQUICK at September 25, 2009 12:47 PM

HYUK,HYUK,HYUK, SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK HOT AIR POWERED BLENDERS POWER BY AL GORE AND THE JERKS FROM GREENPEACE SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK HYUK,HYUK,HYUK

Posted by: Flu-Bird at September 25, 2009 2:24 PM

Awesome, it even has a pull-start. I'm gonna go buy one to mix ritas at the next tailgate party!!!!!

The only way they'll ever allow one in the land of fruit and nuts is if you only are mixing Obama Kool-Aid, which is for weenies.

Posted by: Clingtomyguns at September 25, 2009 3:01 PM

This is absurd. On the other hand, they get those little gas engines from CHINA, so fuck'em.

Posted by: Miscreant at September 25, 2009 5:24 PM

This is absurd. On the other hand, they get those little gas engines from CHINA, so fuck'em.

Posted by: Miscreant at September 25, 2009 5:25 PM

This is absurd. On the other hand, they get those little gas engines from CHINA, so tough titty.

Posted by: Miscreant at September 25, 2009 5:26 PM

Abolish the KALIFORNIA AIR RESOUCES BOARD and have their jerks picking up all those granola wrappers in the parks

Posted by: Birdzilla at September 26, 2009 7:15 AM

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