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July 28, 2009

The Plywoodie

Coming soon from Government Motors — a car made out of plywood and biodegradable fabric:


Not only will it get great mileage, when it gets you killed, you won't grow old enough to be a burden to the socialized healthcare system.

On a tip from Air2air.

Posted by Van Helsing at July 28, 2009 9:51 AM


A car and coffin all rolled into one...

Posted by: Henry at July 28, 2009 10:11 AM

Hey, great idea. Where are the pedals?

I think commie-made Trebants also had body panels made of some kind of cotton fabric infused with plastic - or something.

Posted by: forest at July 28, 2009 10:23 AM

Man, i would love to roll over that envirobat joke with my Jeep Wrangler.

Posted by: Jeffery Wright at July 28, 2009 10:42 AM

Yeah, where's the, um, engine and stuff? You just stick your feet through and flintstone it or what?

I've heard of panels of "jute-plastic" being used in lieu of fibreglass in some third world hellhole as body panels on their scooters or whatever. Maybe that's what you're thinking of.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at July 28, 2009 10:43 AM

And when you crash and kick the bucket, they can just throw the whole mess on the fire, freeing up precious earthly resources like graveyards, to let Mother Nature run amok on.

Posted by: Karin at July 28, 2009 11:07 AM

And most likly whinie tree huggers will want dumb labels insuring its nat made from rainforsts wood

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at July 28, 2009 11:49 AM

Take a real close look at the forward visibility too! Maybe it's blocked off in case any legislation that needs to be read pops up in the road.

Posted by: Air2air at July 28, 2009 12:11 PM

im shocked! a lack of understanding, masked with snide cynicism? from a loony-right website? say it ain't so...

im guessing that there are not too many materials engineers who hang out here on the lunatic fringe, so i'll keep this non-technical: impact-amelioration technology is such that as long as the frame is rigid, anything at all can make up the rest of the car. Go goole BMW GINA and take a look. see how it is both cool, sustainable, and still safe? (and to that guy w/ the wrangler... try catching a BMW in a jeep and see how that goes for you).

Come now. Just because YOU don't understand how it works does not mean that NOBODY understands it. This is a common mistake the 'social-conservaive' crowd makes, time and again... don't anyou ever get sick of proving just how far behind the cutting edge you are???

Posted by: Anonymous at July 28, 2009 12:34 PM

Hahahahahaha dude, I am in fact an engineer myself. I joke, but I understand. "Rigid" trades between weight and geometry, but geometry means only so much. Ultimately, you have to have some friggin mass between you and what's trying to crush you. The thing pictured, whatever it's made of, will either shatter upon impact, or get bounced like a rubber ball. Either way, its passengers will become casualties. Can you imagine going from +50k/H to -50k/H instantly? You get hurt, man, even if you have your seatbelts on. Maybe if this was the only thing on the road, but until then I'll keep my thunderbird.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at July 28, 2009 1:06 PM


You talked me into it. I now believe that design must be as safe a a BMW. Thanks.

Posted by: forest at July 28, 2009 1:07 PM

Actually, "Anonymous", you need to go back and read the article:

"Light plywood structure with degradable impregnated fabric coverings. Also rubber wheels and a few metals on the bottom. Perhaps you’d also like to avoid hitting anything ever! In this future there’s no crashes!"

No mention is made of incorporating impact-ameloriation technology into the frame; evidently, in our utopian future there will be no automobile crashes.

Posted by: Krieg at July 28, 2009 1:11 PM

"from a loony-right website?"
Actually, I am straight from the liberal demographic if you believe in that stuff. Catholic, lawyer for minority people, working class background, Sinn Fein supporter.
I come here because it puts the boot into absurdities, pretentious hypocrites, know-nothings in power, moonbat greenery, and sneering jackasses like you.

Posted by: Jim at July 28, 2009 1:34 PM

Jim you just made my day. Your quote should be in the header of the MB site.

Anonymous, the term you used - "impact-amelioration" - does not exist in engineering. Which reminds me of how I used to fluff up my own inadequacies the same way 20 years ago in my youth.

When I was your age (twenties) I sounded exactly like you; frustrated by not understanding why my elders did not bow down to my vast genius. Sure, I was selling car stereos, but that was because of The Man's conspiracy to keep me down.

It was impossible for me to believe that the gulf in knowledge and maturity from ages 20 to 30 is the same as it is from ages 10 to 20. It's linear, pal - and it doesn't slow until our sixties. The sooner you figure this out the better, because I guarantee you that the fortysomethings you know are laughing and shaking their heads at you in the very same way you do at teenagers.

Things will go great for you when you start with the assumption that others are smarter than you. It's hard at first, but it avoids the fatal consequences of looking like the stereotype Jim mentions above.

The car article here I submitted to Moonbattery because it does not utilize materials science. It summarizes the disdain for current tech that we all had in our youth, and in so doing it ironically becomes an absurd satire of its creator's Luddite goals.

Posted by: Air2air at July 28, 2009 3:37 PM

Looks like it'd make a really cool shopping cart. Wouldn't mind toolin' around my local Safeway's isle 7 in that. I'm such a Luddite!

Posted by: Nathaniel M at July 28, 2009 4:02 PM

(and to that guy w/ the wrangler... try catching a BMW in a jeep and see how that goes for you).

Posted by: Anonymous at July 28, 2009 12:34 PM

Who needs to catch a BMW when you can just drive over one that's parked or stopped @ a stoplight w/ a modded Jeep? They make a great crunching sound!

Posted by: Nathaniel M at July 28, 2009 4:07 PM

As far as safety, it looks safer than my wifes motorcycle.

We also own a 22 foot boat. This [thing] will help offset the rising cost of gas.

Posted by: RICH at July 28, 2009 4:17 PM

I've always wondered: what keeps biodegradables from biodegrading as soon as they're created? Will I come out of my house ten years from now and discover that my new biodegradable car has been eaten overnight by mold?

Posted by: wagnert in atlanta at July 28, 2009 5:50 PM

"see how it is both cool, sustainable, and still safe?
"Posted by: Anonymous at July 28, 2009 12:34 PM"

"Cool"? Only if George Jetson is driving it. I encourage you to get in the driver's seat after that THING has been sitting in the Florida sun for just ONE hour. Do you see any airconditioning or fans? And what about the California mandate that cars be painted a light color to reflect heat? Dose the term "greenhouse effect" mean anything to you?
"Sustainable"? That's the "magic word" for Liberals who have bought into the "global warming" hoax.
"Safe"? Sure it is, it's been endorsed by the "zero population growth" advocates!

Posted by: KHarn at July 28, 2009 5:58 PM


Posted by: Flu-Bird at July 28, 2009 9:08 PM

Hey, Anonymous, would that be the same BMW that makes 15 mpg SUVs and straight-six M5s that get 11 miles to the gallon for a high-5-second 0-60 time?

There are plenty of homegrown American SUVs with much better mileage than that and plenty of American made or Japanese made Japanese sports models that cream the M5 performancewise and are much more economical.

BMWs are for doctors and lawyers, buddy.

Posted by: mandible claw at July 28, 2009 11:05 PM

Posted by: Anonymous at July 28, 2009 12:34 PM

Wow, a moonbat actually came to defend this obvious joke. What a goof. Well-played Jim and Air2Air.

Incidentally, I showed this article and Anon's comment to an engineer in the office (Civil). He didn't have much to say but he did have a good laugh.

Posted by: cowlove at July 29, 2009 9:25 AM

You just need the termite rellant and keep the woodpeckers away

Posted by: EON THE TERRIBLE at July 29, 2009 11:44 AM