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June 12, 2009

Dems Propose Meditation as Healthcare

The impending nationalization of the healthcare industry is great news for a new generation of Trofim Lysenkos, who can now force taxpayers to fund whatever flaky notions happen to be rattling around in their hollow skulls.

Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) says he's found a cost effective way to address chronic pain, stress, and other illnesses: meditation.
Ryan is urging policymakers to consider adding "mindfulness education" — learning to reduce one's own stress level — to healthcare reform legislation.
"Every day, I meditate for at least 45 minutes before leaving home in the morning," Ryan wrote on his website. "I find it makes me a better listener, and my concentration is sharper. I get less distracted when I'm reading. It's like you see through the clutter of life and can penetrate to what's really going on."

Careful, Ryan. If people penetrate the clutter and see what's really going on, you and your fellow socialist looters will be tarred, feathered, and run out of Washington on a rail.

But meditation could have a big future in our socialized healthcare system. When the government doesn't feel like sparing the money to treat your cancer, it can just send you home with one of those pamphlets the guys in orange robes used to pass out at airports. You're going to die anyway; the important thing is that you go out in a state of calm acceptance — and cost The State as little as possible.

Affirms the Abortion Queen, Kathleen Sebelius, who appallingly now heads Health and Human Services:

I think it's a prevention strategy that I know has the potential of paying huge dividends.

Here's Ryan, who after examining the lint in his navel for 45 minutes finally showed up for work, advocating government-run meditation as medicine with a completely straight face:

On a tip from Kevin R.

Posted by Van Helsing at June 12, 2009 8:01 AM


Uhm, TM anyone? Is this the first step in following through with the left coast 60s n 70s whakkos, who wanted us to all meditate on our navel, drop acid, and drop out so we could realize world piece?
Give me a, I don't want a Kit Kat bar!

Posted by: GunnyPink at June 12, 2009 8:16 AM

Yeah, tune in, tune out! Become one with Gaia.

Not everyone has a cushy job with tons of perks like clowns in Congress. People have actual lives and cant waste 45 minutes a day going OMMMM OMMMMMMMM.

Yet another Washington politician who is out of touch with reality.

Posted by: Anonymous at June 12, 2009 8:38 AM

back in the 1980s my dad got big into meditation.

After some practice i was able to raise and lower my heart rate, and raise and lower my body temperature. Woooppppy doo thats it.

its not going to help you manage pain if something is really messed up inside of you, you just train yourself to ignore the pain and then your sleep cycle is effected and you mood turns very bad after a while.

I know i had a problem and ignored it for years. when i finally got relief i was amazed at how stupid i was for just trying to deal with it instead of fixing it.

Pain meds and surgery works, meditation has almost no long term benifit, my dad relized this also and stopped in the early 90s

Posted by: furballz at June 12, 2009 8:41 AM

Meditation is a fine personal practice. But we don't need it mandated by the government or paid for with taxes.

Posted by: V the K at June 12, 2009 8:47 AM

More new age B.S.

Remember kids! New Age rhymes with SEWAGE...

Posted by: Jeffery Wright at June 12, 2009 8:49 AM


Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at June 12, 2009 8:50 AM

I want time off to meditate my cold away. Paid of course.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at June 12, 2009 8:56 AM

Not just meditation, there are a lot of preventive measures that stand to reduce overall healthcare costs. I just can't reconcile FORCING everyone to participate in all preventive measures, or especially in POTENTIALLY preventive measures. I don't want to live in that world.

For example, I don't like smelling tobacco smoke, nor paying for smokers' healthcare, especially after smelling that crap. But I don't want to live in a world where some unelected bureauweenie has the authority to prevent people smoking. That's a form of regulating another's life, and once they start that, where do they stop? Undoubtedly in violation of mine!

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at June 12, 2009 9:06 AM

And don't worry...the cost of the 'How to Meditate' pamphlet will be deducted from your estate once you have done the 'correct' thing for the future generations.

Posted by: Fast Eddie at June 12, 2009 10:04 AM

Any medical pro will tell you, alcohol causes more medical problems, property loss, grief and death than nicotine and McDonald's combined ever will.
They tried taking that away once and all we got was the Mafia and the Kennedys.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at June 12, 2009 10:45 AM

Just like OBO's socialized healthcare rationing plan, this stuff doesn't need to be forced on us by big daddy government.

Instead of wasting 45 min. meditating over Gaia, the lint in one's navel, or how to further sock it to the taxpayers, redistribute wealth and ration healthcare, Ryan, Abortion Queen and their cronies would be far better of spending 15 minutes each morning in the Word. Faithful repititon of that practice is guaranteed not only to cure health woes and stress, but also their moonbattery.

Posted by: ZMarshall at June 12, 2009 11:35 AM

Hey! He didn't mention swinging a DEAD CAT over your head in a GRAVEYARD at MIDNIGHT!

What the hell kind of quacks is our government hiring?

Posted by: KHarn at June 12, 2009 1:03 PM

What next? Shirley MacLaine as Surgeon General? Stick a crystal up your butt and you'll be right as rain?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at June 12, 2009 1:13 PM

And to think, he used to waste that 45 minutes just sitting on the toilet. It's like killing two turds with one stone.

Posted by: claw at June 12, 2009 1:27 PM

The beauty of meditation is that it's FREE! Why does the cost of it need to be covered by anyone?! If people aren't sure how to meditate, they can Google it for FREE(at the public library if necessary where internet access is FREE, too)!

Posted by: Annie at June 12, 2009 5:05 PM


Posted by: Flu-Bird at June 12, 2009 9:31 PM

Foot baths for muslims,meditation rooms for buddas and eco-freaks and still no places for christians to go for worship

Posted by: turu the terrible at June 13, 2009 4:52 PM