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April 10, 2009

Captain Phillips Escapes, Is Recaptured

Richard Phillips, the heroic captain of the Maersk Alabama who surrendered himself to Somali pirates to safeguard his crew, has been held for the last few days in a lifeboat surrounded by US Navy vessels. Last night he escaped. But the pirates caught him again. Apparently, hostage negotiators didn't have authority to just blow the lifeboat out of the water once Phillips wasn't in it.

Not to worry though, the Obamination Administration is on top of situation. Any day now, it will figure out which side it's on. In the meantime…

The Obama administration was careful not to give the crisis too much prominence, with delicate negotiations under way to try to secure the captain's release. […Chairman Zero] declined to comment on the pirate situation for the second day in a row on Thursday.

Anyone who remembers how dangerous and humiliating it was to be an American with Jimmy Carter in office is experiencing a powerful sense of déjà vu.

On a tip from Conan.

Posted by Van Helsing at April 10, 2009 8:34 AM

Comments

No, I'm pretty sure that it's much much more dangerous and humiliating with "The One" in office. And he's only been in office for just about 3 months...

Posted by: Chris at April 10, 2009 8:56 AM

His wife didn't have a statement yesterday - I bet she does today!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Merrihands at April 10, 2009 9:33 AM

Going w/Carter analogy: s this all setting the stage for a truly wonderful CONSERVATIVE GOP candidate for 2012? Pray God it is - and also Pray God that Congress and Senate flip to GOP control in 2010.

Posted by: The MaryHunter at April 10, 2009 10:10 AM

"Help us, Obi Reagan, you're our only hope..."

"Help us, Obi Reagan, you're our only hope..."

"Help us, Obi Reagan, you're our only hope..."

Posted by: hiram at April 10, 2009 10:28 AM

Three solutions:
1} Fire a burst of machinegun bullets across the bow. Demand the pirates surrender. Repeat, fireing closer each time untill the boat is hit.
2} Send two motor boats with armed crewmen over to the lifeboat (which has no gas). Attach two grappling lines and pull them to the waiting destroyer.
3} It's said that more highjacked ships are coming to the scene for support. Capture them as they arrive and gloat about it to the idiots in the lifeboat. Hang a couple in full view if needed; the law of exicuting pirates caught on the high seas is still in effect, so it's perfectly legal.

Posted by: KHarn at April 10, 2009 12:12 PM

These guys are mooosleeeem. Hang them in full view and wrap them in Farmer John's finest then splash them to a watery grave. Phalanx 20mm cannon will put ALOTTA rounds in a very small space. Do that and tell them we're coming for our man. Give them 250 miles worth of gas. Anilhiate their port so when the get back the survivors thank them appropriatly.
Cut off ALL humanitarian aid to the area so the good people rise up and clean house.
Then and ONLY THEN go and help.

Posted by: czuch at April 10, 2009 12:47 PM

Posted by: KHarn at April 10, 2009 12:12 PM

Those other pirate ships should not be allowed to get there. They should be destroyed enroute.

Posted by: SK at April 10, 2009 1:48 PM

S.O.S. Clinton refers to the pirates as "criminals". I suppose with friends like hers (and Obama's), these sorts don't look sooooo bad. . . might be excellent choices for gov't positions.

Posted by: McCormick at April 10, 2009 2:29 PM

So let's get this straight: Phillips is held in a life raft with pirates and the U.S. Navy can't send out a dingy with sharpshooters to sharpshoot the pirates.
Phillips jumps off the raft and the Navy can't sharpshoot the dazed-stunned-for-a-moment pirates.
Phillips swims for it followed by the now-swimming pirates. The Navy can't sharpshoot the pirates out of the water.
Phillips is forced back into the boat. Navy still can't draw a bead to sharpshoot the pirates as they clamber back in.
They all sit in the boat. Navy can't sharpshoot the pirates.

If this scenario is true then I guess the sharpshooters might be afraid of legal prosecution and possible jail time.
And who would prosecute the sharpshooters under these circumstances?

Probably the U.S. Navy

Posted by: Fiberal at April 10, 2009 6:45 PM

Let's see...Obama goes abroad with a "kick me" sign on his back...and we get kicked. Well isn't that strange. To all you anonymous libs out there...a question: when was the last time an American ship was hijacked?

Posted by: baldeagle290 at April 10, 2009 6:53 PM

The navy should be allowed to sink the pirate ships and machine gun them in the water for shark food

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at April 10, 2009 8:12 PM

I'd hate to say this, but its time to call their bluff. They're demanding ransom, however if they had no fear of death they probably wouldn't have fled the ship they were trying to steal.

We should explain to the Pirates that if any harm comes to our man then they will be nothing more than a smear in the history books known as "A bunch of stupid fools who messed with the wrong goddamn country!"

Posted by: Cheesecake at April 10, 2009 8:15 PM

If it was me, I'd be invoking an ancient American military tradition. Arc Light.

Posted by: Scaramouche at April 10, 2009 9:29 PM

If you look closely at the White House, you can see the skull and crossbones flag flying proudly from the roof. Obama is the kind of pirate that the Somalis can only dream of becoming. He's holding our entire nation for ransom and passing out the gold to his fellow pirates.

Posted by: gordo at April 10, 2009 10:05 PM

All this is missing the point: The U.S. Navy stood by and watched as a man who sacrificed himself for his crew tried to escape and was recaptured by terrorists.
From what I can tell not even a skiff was launched to intervene.

Commercial ships all carry disarmed sailors. This is same stupidity we have in the U.S. which says to people that: "We the government will disarm you. Go out and defend yourself anyway you can. But if you try and protect yourself with a firearm, we will put you in a 8X10 cell with a 350lb boyfriend."

The inane idiocy of not arming sailors requires that if attacked, they can use a water cannon, a loudspeaker (?) and if that fails, are to go to a "safe" room and lock themselves in until the danger passes.

If you think about it, that's just about the recommendation of the facists trying to outlaw guns here in the U.S.

Posted by: Fiberal at April 11, 2009 7:20 AM

"Fiberal at April 10, 2009 6:45 PM"

They can't shoot them because the lifeboat is a COVERED all-weather type.

On to your last post:
I agree. Those ships are AMERICAN property crewed (Mostly) by AMERICANS; they have the RIGHT to defend their lives and property any way they see fit. If the crew and/or company wants to negotiate a pay-off to prevent ceasure of the ship, OK. If they want to arm the crew with rifles and a couple of Barret Light Fiftys, BETTER!

I worked with a man who once had a summer job on a day cruser. He told me that one night a speedboat ran up to them with it's lights out , filled with some guys who were yelling and waving guns, demanding the cruser to "heave-to". The small ships' captain stepped onto the bridge, opened the locker where they kept the SKEET GUNS, went to the rail and pumped the action. The would-be pirates turned around and sped away to change their diapers.

THAT'S the way to defuse a bad situation!

Posted by: KHarn at April 11, 2009 9:47 AM

If we still cad a CAPTIAN STEPHAN DECADERER he would blast the pirate area with big guns and have everyone of those samolian pigs hanging from a gallows

Posted by: Flu-Bird at April 11, 2009 8:17 PM

Our Navy should drop a team of Navy Seals into the water(ignoring lack of direction command) armed with 8" hunting knives. They swim underneath the covered dingy and then in unison pop up, out and onto the body of each pirate thrusting their knives into their pirate targets.
Problem solved, they then bring the dingy alongside their Navy ship to be hoisted back aboard along with Captain Phillips.
Now at the upcoming press conference all of America stands along with the Navy in expressing that the Commander in Chief Obama "can kiss America's ass and go straight to Hell, we are taking America back"!!
Impeach Obama immediately.

Posted by: ElDufas at April 11, 2009 10:43 PM

KHarn,


If a previous order had been given to take these guys out, once Phillips jumped overboard, Navy shooters would have been able to do a pretty effective operation on the residue left in the boat, 100% sighting or not.

Posted by: Fiberal at April 12, 2009 8:30 AM

BTW we owe those Somalis big time for what happened to our soldiers under Pervert Clinton. If this trash kills our man and the Navy didn't even have the wherewithall to drop a boat down with armed sailors to intervene, we have lost even more credibility; not to mention an American life.

I try and avoid posting "I'm gonna shoot them guys with this here big gun I bought" type of comment that occassionally suffocates this blog, but in this case the pantywaist mentality that's going on here in dealing with these "pirates" absolutely deserves some heavy-duty firearm work.

Posted by: Fiberal at April 12, 2009 8:48 AM