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March 13, 2009

The New Normal We're Moving Toward

From Pittsfield, Taxachusetts, where homosexual marriage is officially normal:

A woman who allegedly intended to artificially inseminate her wife with her brother's semen has been charged with domestic assault and battery. …
Jennifer A. Lighten, 33, told police that Stephanie Lighten, her wife, was "all liquored up" when she returned to their Lincoln Street apartment, where the defendant then allegedly tried to use a syringe to inseminate her, according to a police report. …
According to a report by Pittsfield Police Officer Kipp D. Steinman: "Jennifer said that Stephanie had a 'turkey baster and her brother's semen in a sealed container.' Jennifer said she told Stephanie that she didn't want to get pregnant." …
That's allegedly when Stephanie threw Jennifer on the couch, grabbed at her clothes and threatened to impregnate her, police said.
Jennifer broke free, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Stephanie "then broke the bathroom door down," police said, hurting her wrist in the process.
When Stephanie went to retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, Jennifer bolted from the apartment and attempted to get away in the couple's sport utility vehicle, police said. …
According to Officer John Bassi, a witness at the scene claimed Stephanie "was hanging on the SUV door handle, trying to get into the car." Amber Hunt told Bassi that Stephanie nearly caused an accident when the vehicle narrowly missed hitting a tree in the front yard of Hunt's Spring Street home.

Despite all the excitement, everything's okay now. A judge has ordered Stephanie to "refrain from abuse," and police confiscated the semen. If Jennifer does get raped by her "wife," she can always just get an abortion anyway.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at March 13, 2009 10:00 AM


another in the "because we're so freaking normal" category.

Posted by: nancz at March 13, 2009 10:22 AM

when did sanity get replaced by jerry springer?

Posted by: furballz at March 13, 2009 10:26 AM

Did anybody interview the brother on how she got his semen?

Posted by: Dennis at March 13, 2009 10:32 AM beat me to it. That was the first question I thought of....what was the brother's role in this? How does a woman go about getting her brother's semen?

Posted by: Andrea at March 13, 2009 10:38 AM

I need pictures with a story like this.

Posted by: JohnC. at March 13, 2009 10:42 AM


I know a cat named Way-Out Willie
He got a cool little chick named Rockin' Millie
He can Walk and Stroll and Suzy-Q
And do that crazy Hand Jive too

Papa told Willie You'll ruin my home
You and that Hand Jive has got to go
Willie said Papa don't put me down
They doin' that Hand Jive all over town

Hand Jive, Hand Jive, Hand Jive, doin' that crazy Hand Jive

Mama mama look at Uncle Joe
He's doing the Hand Jive with Sister Flo'
Grandma gave baby sister a dime
Said do that Hand Jive one more time

Doctor and a Lawyer and an Indian Chief
Now they all dig that crazy beat
Way Out Willie gave them all a treat
When he did that hand jive with his feet
Hand Jive, Hand Jive, Hand Jive,
Doin' that crazy hand jive

Willie and Millie got married last fall
They had a little Willie junior and that ain't all
Well the baby got famous and it's plain to see
Doing the Hand Jive on TV

Hand Jive, Hand Jive, Hand Jive, Doin that crazy Hand Jive

~ Johnny Otis Show ~

Posted by: Dennis at March 13, 2009 10:43 AM

What a tender and loving way to make a baby. Hand me a kleenex, I'm getting verklempt.

"all liquored up..." that was funny.

Posted by: Karin at March 13, 2009 11:20 AM

Oh, I see, as opposed to the wholesome lifestyles in the god fearing red states?

Idiocy happens on both sides folks.

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at March 13, 2009 11:28 AM

So your 300-pound, lesbian kid-sister comes to you and says, "Hey bro, mind shooting your load in this cup for your little sister?"

"Whutter-ya gunna do with it?", you ask, skipping over the absurdity of jerking off in a cup for a sibling.

"Umm, nuthin.", she replies.

So naturally, you consent.

Posted by: Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg at March 13, 2009 11:43 AM

No jail time for 'domestic abuse'????

If this had been a guy, he'd be doing a year and a day for assault. The application of law in this country is so lopsided I feel like I fell through the damn Looking Glass.

Posted by: chuck in st paul at March 13, 2009 11:49 AM

Moral relativism gets you nowhere with THINKING people. You're a Liberal idiot (redundant) for even trying.

Posted by: KHarn at March 13, 2009 12:06 PM

Queer folk for sure. Guess "trailer trash" comes in all flavors. Wonder if Stephanie was wearing a wife-beater shirt?

Posted by: Kathleen at March 13, 2009 12:19 PM

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS... just enjoy their desperation.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 13, 2009 12:26 PM

When you see a troll giddy over a tragic murder, you realize how sick the left really is.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at March 13, 2009 12:34 PM

Oh yes KHarn, my rebuttal is completely relevant. This site is all about showing how idiotic one side is with no acceptance of personal fault of flaw. Actually, isn't that one of your problems with liberals? Interesting.

And you're claiming that the "moonbattery" is a forum for "thinking individuals"? Give ma a fucking break you conservative prick. If you're looking for a relatively intellectual political discourse, may I suggest the Heritage Foundation blog, not the "moonbattery". Ignorant dickhead.

And not to worry, this troll is fed regardless of response :-P

Posted by: Joe the Plumber at March 13, 2009 12:40 PM

Let's distinguish "idiotic" from "perverted."

Just as we distinguish "reasoned argument" from "foul-mouthed rant."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 13, 2009 1:01 PM

Well said, Jay.

Homosexuality is a depraved, unnatural, chosen lifestyle.

Hopefully, these lost souls will find their way to the Lord before Judgment Day. :(

Posted by: SK at March 13, 2009 3:27 PM

Does anyone want my turkey baster?
I can't use it anymore!

Posted by: D. King at March 13, 2009 4:02 PM

Stupid brother better wake-up...he is the one who will get stuck with the child support,

Posted by: CharlieDontSurf at March 13, 2009 4:33 PM

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 13, 2009 1:01 PM
Let's distinguish "idiotic" from "perverted.

In this story?

Posted by: D. King at March 13, 2009 4:47 PM

KHarn like them under breeding age. He wont deny it.

Posted by: Parker at March 13, 2009 9:50 PM

So, poking fun at people who are so caught up in their "intellect" while doing/saying things that are so moronic its amazing someone doesn't send them on a one way ticket into the sun isn't good?

Both sides can have fun with it.

Posted by: Cheesecake at March 13, 2009 11:20 PM

Posted by: Parker at March 13, 2009 9:50 PM

Stop projecting, pervert.

Posted by: SK at March 14, 2009 1:23 AM

PARKER is still making personal attacks because he's an ignorant Liberal/communist who thinks that an accusation is all that's needed for a conviction.

I won't bother to point out Parker's lack of brains because he is doing a great job of that himself.

Posted by: KHarn at March 14, 2009 8:15 AM

Meh... this happens often enough is hetero relationships. It's called rape.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 14, 2009 4:44 PM

wtf @ the abortion comment, twit

Posted by: ez at March 14, 2009 5:03 PM

"Anonymous at March 14, 2009 4:44 PM"

So you're saying that that makes it OK? I already said that moral relativism has no value.

Posted by: KHarn at March 14, 2009 5:56 PM


Relativism, now you want to bugger your preteen family members (I would guess your nephews is your interest).

Posted by: Parker at March 14, 2009 6:49 PM beat me to it. That was the first question I thought of....what was the brother's role in this? How does a woman go about getting her brother's semen?

Posted by: Andrea at March 13, 2009 10:

I wonder how long it took her to transfer the semen from her mouth to the turkey baster.

Posted by: Right0fReagan at March 14, 2009 10:46 PM


I did't see anyone mention that GAYS CANNOT STILL GET MARRIED IN CA!

Why is this so, since CA is the most Progressive Liberal state in the union (union was meant as a pun)?

Well, I'll tell ya.

The reason that GAYS CANNOT STILL GET MARRIED IN CA is because overwhelming numbers of Democratic Party Voters did not want GAYS TO GET MARRIED IN CA!

Sure, they voted for Obama, but they hate GAYS because GAYS go against their beliefs.

We are talking about the overwhelming latino, black and asian population who HATE GAYS.

The rainbow crowd would have you believe it was Republican Christians or Mormons who did this - nope.

Democrats hate GAYS in CA. Proven fact by the popular vote of the state.

Now, is the stupid bitch who attacked her, um, wife, going to be thrown out of the service of the state?

Democrats are hypos!

Posted by: Oiao at March 14, 2009 10:48 PM

Go ahead and offer PROOF, coward.

Posted by: KHarn at March 15, 2009 7:24 AM

Is there any way of getting this Parker person blocked from the site? All he does is come on here and insult specific site members. If he contributed as much as he slings crap, he'd be ok. Not that his crazed rambling constitutes a real contribution, mind you.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 15, 2009 8:53 PM

One more pedophile insult from Parker and he's history.

Posted by: Van Helsing at March 15, 2009 9:22 PM

This sounds like Brave New World as reimagined by Jerry Springer.

Posted by: James McEnanly at March 16, 2009 1:25 PM