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February 24, 2009

The Magic of Obamanomics

Using the power of Obamanomics, Chairman Zero could seize half of your property and redistribute it to Henrietta Hughes without taxing you a penny. Here's how it works:

Say Group A works hard and has created $1 trillion in wealth out of nothing. Group B smokes crack and watches Oprah, and doesn't create any wealth at all. It receives food stamps, welfare, subsidized housing, et cetera, ad nauseam, but say Group B has no more wealth than it creates. If Chairman Zero wants to spread the wealth around so that both groups have the same amount, he doesn't have to take half a $trillion from Group A. All he needs to do is give Group B $1 trillion dollars that doesn't exist in the form of mortgage bailouts and stimulus packages.

Since the money doesn't exist, the government will have to print it. Instead of $1 trillion dollars, there is now $2 trillion that represents $1 trillion of actual wealth. By making money worth half as much, Obama has effectively seized half of what Group A worked to create.

But there's no reason Group B should settle for only half of the wealth. After all, it suffers oppression. This is why Obama is passing out more money than exists in the entire economy.

Just because Obama doesn't need to tax us doesn't mean that he won't. Taxes will be going up, because higher taxes are a form of social justice. But there will be tax cuts for some — namely, those who don't pay any taxes. Some of their welfare handouts will be renamed "tax rebates."

To paraphrase Tom Brokaw: Take that, America!

Posted by Van Helsing at February 24, 2009 1:27 PM


The democrats should watch out for unintended consequences. If you have less of group 'B' then there is less need to print more money. Get rid of group 'B' and all the drag on the economy from the worthless crackheads is gone. Now we just have to cut the numbers of group 'B'. Massive amounts of free drugs should do fine...

Posted by: Stephana at February 24, 2009 1:54 PM

well I don't need to watch his address tonight, then! All I need to do is start smoking crack.

Watching Oprah, though... why not BET? (Or was that a racist comment?)

Posted by: The MaryHunter at February 24, 2009 2:22 PM

What a great illustration! Sad. Scary. But…good.

Another problem with this plan is when the crack smoking Oprah fans get all this money some (Granted, not many, but some) will find out how much better they can if they have wealth. They will want more and begin to work. When they begin to work and see how much taxes are being taken out of their pay that goes to the crack smoking Oprah fans, they will become Republicans and stop voting for Democrats.

Posted by: Franklins Locke at February 24, 2009 2:29 PM

said it before, say it again...

Gold. As much as you can get your hands on.

Posted by: hiram at February 24, 2009 3:02 PM


I'm partial to ammo. As much as I can get my hands on.

Posted by: Scaramouche at February 24, 2009 3:24 PM

From Burn Baby, Burn! to Reparations Baby, Reparations!
Welfare, squatting in foreclosed houses, disproportionate use of city services (come on down to my hospital for a family reunion in ER!), food-stamps, ACORN, government grants (Oh yeah...go take a look at SBAs and SBIRs..and if you're a research scientist depending on grants, its a good idea to work on AIDS or drug abuse), discrimination lawsuits, bank loans, Affirmative Action, The War on Poverty, and of course the Stimulus Fraud... the list goes on and it will never end.

Shaking money out of Whitey is what it always has been and always will be about.

This brings up a related point: why use affirmative action? AA is a strategy that causes a lot of problems when in fact, the actual, true objective of AA is to simply enrich someone, thereby obtaining artificial equality. But to do this more efficiently, government should just give the affirmative action candidate the total amount of money a doctor or lawyer would make over his/her average career and then immediately send him/her on their way, saving everyone a lot of work and trouble (And since the AA candidate would not be eligible, nor would want at that point, a higher degree, this plan would also result in better doctors and presumably, lawyers).
So it now just so happens that Government/BO has figured out how to implement this plan on a much grander scale...and not just for AA candidates, but for everyone!

And I thought these guys were dumb.

Posted by: Fiberal at February 24, 2009 4:37 PM

That's... not even close to how economics works. If it did, we'd be experiencing inflation far larger then we are now, since our debt is usually greater then our GDP.

Yes, deficit spending can cause problems, but they're more subtle and long term then what you present here.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 25, 2009 5:49 AM