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February 17, 2009

Animals Aren't People After All

According to his owners, a chimpanzee named Travis

was toilet trained, dressed himself, took his own bath, ate at the table and drank wine from a stemmed glass. He also brushed his teeth using a Water Pik, logged onto the computer to look at pictures, and watched television using the remote control.

But despite his sophisticated ways, Travis has come to a bad end.

An out-of-control pet chimpanzee attacked a woman inside a Stamford home, police said. The animal severely tore up the 55-year-old woman's face. She was taken to Stamford Hospital with very severe wounds. She was in critical condition. The 200-pound ape was named Travis. The victim was a guest of Travis's owners, who called police after the attack, according to the AP.
A source told Fox 5's Lisa Evers that Travis may have been rattled and didn't recognize the victim because she had changed her hair color.
When police arrived, the chimp went after the officers. He opened a police car's door and cornered an officer, who shot the ape numerous times.
Travis retreated to the house and died of his wounds.

There's a lesson in this story somewhere.

On tips from Wiggins and nancz.

Posted by Van Helsing at February 17, 2009 7:40 AM

Comments

"There's a lesson in this story somewhere."

Chimps & cougars don't mix?

Posted by: Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg at February 17, 2009 7:50 AM

Of course chimps are people, theres one in the Whitehouse, isnt there?

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 7:52 AM

What will PETA have to say in the apes defense will they be bringing up this darwinists poppycock bull kaka or what ever they can come up with

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at February 17, 2009 7:59 AM

He came to a bad end - got a show on PBS?

Posted by: baslimthecripple at February 17, 2009 8:10 AM

If the chimp had been named something a little less 'whitebread', like barak, I'm sure the NAACP would be there with lawyers to sue the cop for being a racist murderer, or if it had happened in L.A. they would be rioting in the streets in a show of solidarity for their fallen brother. I wonder if the 'owner' can now recieve 'grievance' from the govt.

Posted by: Eric at February 17, 2009 8:17 AM

Anon take your idiotic racism elsewhere. Apparently the trolls couldn't find any racism here, so they had to insert it themselves. We're not biting.

Posted by: cowlove at February 17, 2009 8:17 AM

'was toilet trained, dressed himself, took his own bath, ate at the table and drank wine from a stemmed glass. He also brushed his teeth using a Water Pik, logged onto the computer to look at pictures, and watched television using the remote control'. Sounds like any good welfare recipient to me.

Posted by: Eric at February 17, 2009 8:19 AM

You can take an ape out of Africa...............

Posted by: Shooter1001 at February 17, 2009 8:23 AM

They called Bush "a chimp" for 8 years, why is it racist to call Obama "a chimp"?

I could call him President Hussein. Is that better?

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 8:54 AM

Chimp is better than Hussein!!

Posted by: Noovuss at February 17, 2009 10:02 AM

"When good Democrats go bad..."

Travis needed an ACLU lawyer, and to change his name to something like "Mumia abu Jamal."

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 17, 2009 10:04 AM

Little had they realized Travis had been watching the jihad channel and converted to Islam. The sight of a non-family female with uncovered head demanded Allah's justice.

Posted by: IOpian at February 17, 2009 10:26 AM

They called Bush "a chimp" for 8 years, why is it racist to call Obama "a chimp"?

I, for one, don't subscribe to the moral equivalency arguments used by some. That the looney left called Bush anything doesn't make it right for us to return the favor. Of course, I don't respect anything about Obama or his policies, but that has nothing to do with the left's disgusting behavior over the past 8 years. It simply means that I don't feel compelled in the slightest to reach out in unity and fart roses just because their guy is in the White House. Besides, we don't get to call them unhinged asshats if we turn around and act like the same unhinged asshats, right?

As far as calling a black man a chimp: it's a well-established racial insult. Back when blacks were considered inferior human beings, if human at all, they were compared to apes often. That's how modern-day insults like "porch monkey" were derived.

So, when say that a chimp is in the White House now, you can rightfully be called out for making a racist statement. This is coming from someone who despises false accusations of RAAAACISM and playing the race card and making every-damn-thing in this country about race. However, I have a vested interest in seeing that fellow conservatives (Are you one? Who knows, you don't even have a name you silly anonymous troll.) don't allow discourse that marginalizes whatever point they may have to discuss.

Posted by: cowlove at February 17, 2009 11:07 AM

The whole point of calling Obama a Chimp is to to point out how it was acceptable to call Bush a Chimp for 8 years and force THEM to explain why it was acceptable to call Bush a Chimp but not Obama.

If they had called Bush a Moose for 8 years then I started calling Obama a Chimp, that would be racist.


Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 11:29 AM

And as for having a name, what does that prove? You can type anything in there. Duhhhhhhhh

Posted by: You can type anything in there. at February 17, 2009 11:30 AM

Having a name doesn't prove anything. It does, obviously, make it easier to refer to a single person. In fact, people may even become aware of your thoughts on particular subjects as you comment on them. You might develop a sort of, Moonbattery.com persona, if you will. Heck, even a couple of regular trolls have their own names. As it is now, you're as memorable as a fart in the wind, and about as intelligent it seems.

Your point is to get leftists to explain why they called Bush a chimp? Then go find some. Perhaps a decidedly right-leaning website isn't the best place to start. Until proven otherwise, I stand by my assertion that you're simply a lefty idiot troll attempting to insert racism where there is none.

Posted by: cowlove at February 17, 2009 12:09 PM

The lesson is, get a cat or dog.

Maybe Obama can appoint a Pet Czar to straight out this catastrophic epidemic about to turn into an apocalypse.

Posted by: mega at February 17, 2009 12:12 PM

Little had they realized Travis had been watching the jihad channel and converted to Islam. The sight of a non-family female with uncovered head demanded Allah's justice.

That's so wrong, but I laughed out loud anyway.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at February 17, 2009 1:04 PM

"The TAME animals are the most dangerous". Wise old saying.

According to an up-date, the woman had her hands BIT OFF. Contrary to popular belief, apes do eat MEAT.

Posted by: KHarn at February 17, 2009 1:43 PM

This is comedy GOLD for SNL and/or Family Guy, on some sick level.......

I feel very bad for the mauled woman tho - hopefully she will make a full recovery.

Posted by: Joycer at February 17, 2009 1:49 PM

Your point is to get leftists to explain why they called Bush a chimp? Then go find some.

Because they said he looked like one.

Hell, some moonbats even made a website called The Smirking Chimp.

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/

And this one...

http://www.bushorchimp.com/

Ever seen this pic?

http://lsblog.org/blog1/images/bush_chimp.jpg

I will call Obama a chimp if I darned well please; if not here then elsewhere.

Obama is not off limits because he has a higher melanin content than you or I might have. Either we're all equal or we're not. If so, then people have the right to express the same derision for him that they did for GWB.

You're the one injecting race into this, not me or 'Anonymous'.

Posted by: SK at February 17, 2009 2:42 PM

Posted by: SK at February 17, 2009 2:45 PM

Posted by: Joycer at February 17, 2009 1:49 PM

This happens all to often when people try to tame a wild animal. If someone like one of the fruits from the duo Sigfried and Roy can easily who trains tigers, for instance, can be mauled almost to death then no one can be safe.

Posted by: SK at February 17, 2009 3:00 PM

Sorry for the typos. I need to check my blood glucose.

Posted by: SK at February 17, 2009 3:01 PM

Apparently the woman's injuries are truly horrific (by some reports, most of her face ripped off, and both hands bitten off), and she may well not survive. So let's not make fun of this, OK? Thanks.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 17, 2009 4:06 PM

Posted by: Jay Guevara at February 17, 2009 4:06 PM

Baaaw!

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 6:19 PM

The shame of it all is that the poor woman may not survive and if she does will be horribly disfigured because two dumbasses forgot this simple phrase: Once a wild animal always a wild animal. Dumb motherfuckers (sorry for the profanity but I get pissed when stupid people hurt innocent people).

Posted by: Farmer Ted at February 17, 2009 6:21 PM

Travis the chimp finds owners stash...
film at 11:00

Posted by: john at February 17, 2009 6:55 PM

BED TIME FOR BONZO FUNERAL TIME FOR BONZO and what ever happened to J,FRED MUGGS,JUDY THE CHIMP and DEBBY THE BLOOP?

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at February 17, 2009 7:35 PM

a CNN commentator made a good point about the impossibility of ever truly domesticating a wild animal, no matter how much a person might want it to to be domesticated

Posted by: Joe at February 17, 2009 10:25 PM

Let's keep things simple: it's a really, really bad idea to keep a "pet" than can rip your arms off with minimal effort, any time it gets upset. Sorta like keeping a black mamba or a salt-water crocodile in the baby's room - just not a good idea.

Posted by: PabloD at February 17, 2009 10:47 PM

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 6:19 PM

Go back to /b/, asshole.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2009 11:35 PM

This is what you get for naming a chimpanzee "Travis". Was I the only one who laughed a little when they found out his name?

Posted by: Right0fReagan at February 18, 2009 12:47 AM

I hope the chick is O.K. though.

Posted by: Right0fReagan at February 18, 2009 12:48 AM

Ah, a lefty issue you can agree on.

Too often people people try to keep exotic animals as pets... it rarely ends well. The chimps you see in movies are infants who are trained with operant conditioning (read: beatings). When they become older children they become too dangerous to be around so they're either killed or kept in crappy conditions to breed. Chimp lifetimes can last decades.

The use of exotic animals in roadside zoos, circuses, and films has been decreasing steadily for the last few decades, and us lefties consider that to be a good thing. Hopefully with stories like this you can see why.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 18, 2009 3:38 AM

It's a story like this that makes me take my hat off to Jane Goodall. She lived with mountain gorillas in the wild for years, and managed to never get mauled by the much larger (and presumably more ill-tempered) primates.

Posted by: Murff at February 18, 2009 6:00 AM

Alright SK, you want to call Obama a chimp and run around saying a chimp is in the White House? Go right ahead. It's clearly your right to say what you please. Don't be surprised when you're correctly called out as spouting racism. That you would attempt to justify it by saying, "well the lefties did it to Bush," is just too idiotic to let slide. I'm assuming these lefties don't exhibit behavior you aspire to, so why would you use their behavior as a reason to do anything, much less call a black man a chimp?

And if you can't glean lessons from history like where the term "porch monkey" came from then it's no surprise you don't see the difference between saying Bush looks like a chimp, and saying a chimp is now in the White House.

I'm still shaking my head over the whole, "they did it to Bush" thing. So freaking what? There are plenty of reasons to have contempt and disgust for Obama without sinking to the level of people who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

Posted by: cowlove at February 18, 2009 6:20 AM

After much thought and introspection, well, not much, just some, I've decided my reaction was knee-jerk and incorrect. Thanks for the correction y'all, I'll try to avoid such responses in the future.

Posted by: cowlove at February 18, 2009 1:06 PM

TAKE YOUR STINKIN PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY MOONBAT

Posted by: Flu-Bird at February 18, 2009 8:26 PM