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February 9, 2009

A Single Sentence From the Porkzilla Bill

No wonder the looters in Congress don't take the trouble to read the malignant bills they pass. One sentence from the swan dive into national bankruptcy known by the media as the "Stimulus Package":

For transit capital assistance grants, $6,000,000,000 (increased by $1,500,000,000), of which $5,400,000,000 (increased by $1,350,000,000) shall be for grants under 5 section 5307 of title 49, United States Code and shall be apportioned in accordance with section 5336 of such title (other than subsections (i)(1) and (j)) but may not be combined or commingled with any other funds apportioned under such section 5336, and of which $600,000,000 (increased by $150,000,000) shall be for grants under section 5311 of such title and shall be apportioned in accordance with such section 5311 but may not be combined or commingled with any other funds apportioned under that section: Provided, That of the funds provided for section 5311 under this heading, 3 percent shall be made available for section 5311(c)(1): Provided further, That applicable chapter 53 requirements shall apply except that the Federal share of the costs for which a grant is made under this heading shall be, at the option of the recipient, up to 100 percent: Provided further, In lieu of the requirements of section 1103 of this Act, funds made available under this heading shall be apportioned not later than 7 days after the date of enactment of this Act: Provided further, That for purposes of applying section 1104 of this 25 253 Act to this appropriation, the deadline for grantees to enter into obligations to make use of not less than 50 percent of the funds awarded shall be 90 days after apportionment: Provided further, That the provisions of section 1101(b) of Public Law 109–59 shall apply to funds made available under this heading: Provided further, That not-withstanding any other provision of law, of the funds apportioned in accordance with section 5336, up to three-quarters of 1 percent shall be available for administrative expenses and program management oversight and of the funds apportioned in accordance with section 5311, up to one-half of 1 percent shall be available for administrative expenses and program management oversight and both amounts shall remain available for obligation until September 30, 2012: Provided further, That the preceding proviso shall apply in lieu of the provisions in section 1106 of this Act.

Via Free Republic, on a tip from hiram.

Posted by Van Helsing at February 9, 2009 7:00 PM

Comments

I think my eyes are melting outa their sockets! Brain to follow.

Posted by: Nathaniel M at February 9, 2009 7:21 PM

IN PORK WE TRUST !!!!

PORK BLESS AMERICA !!!

PORK WE CAN BELIEVE IN !!!

HOPE AND PORK !!

Posted by: Pete at February 9, 2009 7:28 PM

OBAMOINK!

Had not heard that one before. . . .

Posted by: Fine Ahht at February 9, 2009 9:21 PM

http://nostimulus.com/

Posted by: J at February 9, 2009 9:27 PM

Isn't there a shorter way to say "We're bending the taxpayer over the barrel?"

Posted by: PabloD at February 9, 2009 9:30 PM

.....Which is the EXACT reason lawyers should be barred from the lesislature.

Posted by: JohnC. at February 9, 2009 9:51 PM

If Joe Blough from Fucque, OK can't read or understand the laws being written, then they are worthless, treasoness laws, and equal to TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.

As Bill Shake-a-spear once said,
"Kill the goddam piece of shit liberal lawyers first!"

Or... something like that.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 9, 2009 10:43 PM

Someone needs to smack these fools with a composition book.

Talk about a run-on sentence.

Posted by: Scaramouche at February 9, 2009 10:48 PM

That's the most language I have ever seen to describe a good old fashioned fucking over.

Posted by: Glenn Cassel AMH1(AW) USN RET at February 9, 2009 10:49 PM

Anonymous -

Shakespeare did say "the first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." The context of this, of course, was in order to start a revolution. Because the quickest way to get to tyranny and chaos is to remove those people of the law.

And, of course, as we've all been reminded on this site, we live in a Republic -- where the law is supreme. Let's keep those lawyers around, eh?

Posted by: Buckeye State at February 9, 2009 10:54 PM

Buckeye - I don't advocate their actual death... Only bankruptcy and a job at McDonald's.

There's "law is supreme" and "Lawyers are supreme".

There is a supreme difference.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 9, 2009 11:06 PM

Shake your spear at Shakespeare? Old, I know.

Posted by: Deftly at February 9, 2009 11:20 PM

In lieu of a new open thread:

Australian bushfire doctor and supervisor of fire weather services says tragic Victoria bushfires are due to misguided "environmental" policies allowing fuel load to build up in bush areas.

Posted by: mandible claw at February 10, 2009 12:35 AM

Translation:
"YES WE CAN!" ... steal from you!

Posted by: Ex-Moonbat at February 10, 2009 3:11 AM

WTF? Who actually understands what that means? Reading sentences in Latin is easier - and I dont know any latin except things like Novus Ordo Seclorum.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 10, 2009 5:47 AM

Ya know, this is similar to how Prohibition got into law. They didn't know what they were signing until the damage was done. They said "What? Not even a little highball before dinner? Not a little champagne at a wedding? Huh?"

I'm so depressed and angry at the same time today over this awful bill. A miserable critter with 2 dem senators.

Mandible, California has the exact same problem year after year, but they never ever learn.

Posted by: Karin at February 10, 2009 6:20 AM

OBAMA.OINK,OINK,OINK. TED KENNEDY OINK,OINK,OINK. AL GORE,OINK,OINK,OINK. THE DEMACRATIC DONEY OINK,OINK,OINK.

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at February 10, 2009 7:46 AM

It's always fun reading the US code.

Translation:

6 billion dollars to fund public transportation. They're overriding the former statutory 1% going to rural areas and making it 10%. 3% is going to Indian reservtions.

This money can be used to fund up to 80% of a capital investment or up to 50% of operating costs in cities with less than 200k people.

The money has to be available for dispersal in 7 days and the person getting the grant has to show that they've made contracts to spend half the money within 90 days.

At the very least this isn't a boondoggle to a special interest group. This is government spending on capital investment.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 10, 2009 11:38 AM