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December 10, 2008

Terrorists Forced to Listen to Sesame Street Theme Song

Bush is technically still in office, yet already the truth is coming out regarding his brutal regime's abuse of misunderstood Islamic terrorists:

U.S. military interrogators have often blasted music at detainees in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay. According to the British law group Reprieve, these are among the songs they have used most frequently:
• "Enter Sandman," Metallica.
• "Bodies," Drowning Pool.
• "Shoot to Thrill," AC/DC.
• "Hell's Bells," AC/DC.
• "I Love You," from the "Barney and Friends" children's TV show.
• "Born in the USA," Bruce Springsteen.
• "Babylon," David Gray.
• "White America," Eminem.
• "Sesame Street," theme song from the children's TV show.

Fortunately, Comrade Obama promises to close down Gitmo and put a stop to this sort of sadism.

Forcing them to listen to Barney and Friends makes us no better than the terrorists.

On a tip from nanc.

Posted by Van Helsing at December 10, 2008 7:44 AM


How can one not like Hells Bells?

They should add this classic from the end of REPO MAN.

I was riding on a concrete slab,
Down a river of useless flab
It was such a beautiful day
I heard a witchdoctor say,
Ill turn you into a toadstool
Im looking for the joke with a microscope
My muscles twitching on your words
If youre on the streets you lose your nerves
Divinity throws you a curve
Sticks you and then you go beserk
Abhoaring no inspiration.
Im looking for the joke with a microscope
Page out of a comic book
A chicken hanging on a hook
A river and a babbling brook
A sermon and a teenage hook
Shaking my hand at your fake face
A suicide a certain look
A microphone a loose guitar
People feeling near and far
Stupidity a mental scar
Put cruel into cruelty
As life goes by you in a blurr
An achoholic has gone far
Everything just goes to far
I was pissing on the desert sands,
When the desert whispered to me,
Damn! isnt this a shame?
Things will never be the same...
I run this gas and oasis
Now Im looking for the joke with a microscope
I was a teenage dinosaur, stoned and obsolete
I didnt get fucked and I didnt get kissed
I got so fucking dense
Using my head for an ashtray
Now Ill tell you who I am
Im the repo-man
And Im looking for the joke
Looking for the joke
Im looking for the joke with a microscope

Posted by: Name at December 10, 2008 8:04 AM

i'll never forget ours singing the "barney" song incessantly as toddlers - trust me, if you heard that song in baby talk ten hours a day you'd confess to knowing where jimmy hoffa's body was!

Posted by: nanc at December 10, 2008 8:35 AM

Believe it or not, this has been going on in prisons in this country for a while. Rumor has it that no man can keep from breaking down after hearing the Sesame Street theme over and over again, ad infinitum. I don't remember who it was that said it, but he said: "It just breaks their spirit."

Maybe they should add "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" to the rotation. That's the most irritating song short of the old "Bananaphone" tune.

Posted by: Murff at December 10, 2008 8:52 AM

"Bird Is The Word"... makes me up my meds.

Posted by: Henry at December 10, 2008 9:50 AM

Alvin & the Chipmunks
Barking Dogs' Jingle Bells (especially good for the terrorists).
Porky Pig's "I'll Have a Blue Christmas." (another good one for them).

Ooohhhhh the Humanity!

Posted by: Karin at December 10, 2008 9:59 AM

How about a tape loop of the hidabeast during sexual intimacy? Have fun with that visual. :)

Posted by: Farmer Ted at December 10, 2008 11:58 AM

In all fairness, a couple hours of the Barney song would get me to crack.

Posted by: NoObamunist at December 10, 2008 12:21 PM

Our torture tools:annoying songs; throwing water on their face.

Their torture tools:Soldering Iron, pliers, drill, red hot poker/knife.

We're so much more evil, aren't we?

Posted by: conservativeteen at December 10, 2008 12:34 PM

How about having COOKIE MONSTER eating a cookie with the cresent and star on it or having OSCAR THE GROUCH made to look like MUHAMED MAKE THEM WATCH OLD RERUNS OF GREEN ACHRES and see the piggie ARNOLD ZIPPO

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 10, 2008 12:38 PM

I've got it!!! Making them listen to endless Barry Manilow records.

Posted by: Farmer Ted at December 10, 2008 12:53 PM

Here are some they could use:
Anything by Kenny G.
Anything by Michael Bolton.
Roseanne singing the national anthem.
Anything by William Shatner.

Posted by: Adam at December 10, 2008 1:31 PM

I would suggest maybe some John Tesh as well, Adam.

Posted by: Murff at December 10, 2008 2:45 PM

You guys are forgetting a couple of biggies: The Villagepeople and ABBA. :)

Posted by: Farmer Ted at December 10, 2008 5:04 PM

Wow man! Take out the Barney song, and I could listen to this playlist in the car!

Posted by: BURNING HOT at December 10, 2008 6:27 PM

ABBA, Barry Manilow, and The Village people? Say it isn't so!! :)

Posted by: Farmer Ted at December 10, 2008 6:43 PM

Maybe get them a "Tickle Me Elmo" for Christmas... poor widdle terrowists!

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at December 10, 2008 8:06 PM

Not to worry, folks.

The innocent Muslims so terrorized by the criminal Bush junta are set to morph into genuine national security concerns and Threats to the Safety of American Families on or about Jan. 20, 2009. Whereupon their treatment will probably become much harsher as the Obama administration will not want a repeat of 9/11 on its watch; what with no Republicans around to blame for it.

Posted by: mandible claw at December 10, 2008 9:32 PM

TWEE TWEE TWEE hoe about listening to nuaseating liberal dumb wacko songs like dog and butterfly,muskrat love,age of aquarius,

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at December 11, 2008 7:56 AM