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November 28, 2008

Homosexual Penguins Steal Eggs From Healthy Couples

As moonbats delight in publicizing, homosexuality sometimes occurs among lower animals. But in animals as in humans, this unhealthy aberration inevitably results in unfortunate consequences:

A couple of gay penguins are attempting to steal eggs from straight birds in an effort to become "fathers", it has been reported.
The two penguins have started placing stones at the feet of parents before waddling away with their eggs, in a bid to hide their theft.
But the deception has been noticed by other penguins at the zoo, who have ostracised the gay couple from their group. Now keepers have decided to segregate the pair of three-year-old male birds to avoid disrupting the rest of the community during the hatching season.
A keeper at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China explained that the gay couple had the natural urge to become fathers, despite their sexuality.
"One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite this being a biological impossibility for this couple, the natural desire is still there," a keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper.
"It's not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time," he added.

It's certainly a relief to hear that isolating the perverted birds doesn't constitute discrimination. We wouldn't want to get lawyers involved.

On a tip from Wiggins.

Posted by Van Helsing at November 28, 2008 10:41 AM


In other news of Teh Ghey, Rosie O'Donnell's variety show fail miserably. Ah, schadenfreude.

Posted by: Anonymous at November 28, 2008 10:50 AM

And gay penguins still can't get married in California!

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at November 28, 2008 10:54 AM

Have the heterosexual penguin couples been forced to engage in ovicide in response to the Chinese one-chick policy? That might have caused a shortage of female penguins, forcing the males into this aberrant behavior.

Posted by: on-the-rocks at November 28, 2008 11:34 AM

:-) Thanks evilwrench.

Not even at the San Francisco Zoo. Or is that the Zoo that is San Francisco?

Posted by: Oiao at November 28, 2008 12:33 PM

Holy Togetherness batman what would happened if MUBLE ran way with LOVELACE Well we Spurwing Plovers are streight at least SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at November 28, 2008 1:49 PM

Someone needs to euthanize these fowl things.

Posted by: xantl at November 28, 2008 2:13 PM

Do gay penguins buttf--k? Just curious, I'm not a voyeur penguin.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at November 28, 2008 2:17 PM

If this happened in the United States the liberals would literally take it to court to have a judge force the Zoo to give the gay penguins another penguins eggs -- and demand for "hate crime" legislation to be in-acted to pro-actively protect them from harm.

Posted by: xant at November 28, 2008 2:29 PM

Notice how even in the animal kingom, the gays are leftists? They steal an egg from the producers & try to cover it up by giving them a worthless rock.

Posted by: hiram at November 28, 2008 2:40 PM


Probably so. I refer you to "The Human Zoo", by Desmond Morris. Animals in the wild rarely show anything like the homosexuality that appears in human society, but the do when caged up in zoos. Not unlike those incarcerated in prisons, or living in major cities teeming with people, but effectively cut off from real intimacy with any of them.

If they want me to believe that penguins in the wild have the same ratio of homosexuality as those imprisoned in an artificial environment, they need to show me documentary evidence. On film. Of b*f*'ing penguins.

Posted by: hiram at November 28, 2008 2:49 PM

Sorry to post thrice in a row, but something just occured to me...

If penguins are built the same as other birds (e.g., chickens, turkeys, eagles, etc.), and I have no reason to think otherwise, then the answer to shooter's question is a definitive 'yes'. Fowl don't have the same plumbing as mammals; 'down there', they simply have one orifice (called a "vent"), which leads to both the lower digestive tract and uterus in females, and from which the penis extends during mating for the males.

So, technically, from a purely logistical standpoint, all F*ing among birds is the aforementioned BF*ing.

Spurwing, back me up on this?

Posted by: hiram at November 28, 2008 2:58 PM

hiram, your just killing me.............LOL

Buy more ammo!

Posted by: Oiao at November 28, 2008 4:20 PM

Homosexual Penguins Steal Eggs From Healthy Couples

So much like human homosexuals...


Posted by: Mike at November 28, 2008 6:26 PM

It is amazing - even Disney movies for the kids try to promote homosexuality...

I just took my kids to see Madagascar 2 and there were at least 2 gay innuendos and more than I could count sexual innuendos....

The libs just can't miss an opportunity to promote their agenda....

I, for one, will not give another dime to that liberal scally-wag company...

GOP Mike

Posted by: GOP Mike at November 28, 2008 6:33 PM

Posted by: GOP Mike at November 28, 2008 6:33 PM

It is, in my considered opinion, a means of trying to normalize the sexualization of children.

In other words, the MSM is doing their part to make pedophilia acceptable in the mainstream the same way they are attempting with their other pet sexual perversion: homosexuality.

Its not just here but in the West, in general.

Pupils as young as 5 to be given sex education

Thank you, liberalism.

Your fates, however, are sealed.

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. -- The Gospel According to St. Matthew -- 18:6

Posted by: Mike at November 28, 2008 6:55 PM

Theres a certian bird the JACANA where the female is big then the male and she will have as many as six males sitting on a clutch of eggs AND I THINKS THEY MIGHT BE RELATED TO ME SQUAWK SQUAWK THATS REALY UNVERVING SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at November 28, 2008 8:07 PM

Some of these birds did seem a little *too* well-dressed...

Posted by: Dan Oblak - at November 28, 2008 11:46 PM

GOP Mike,

Disney actually started that about 15 years ago. Take a look at Timon and Pumbaa in "The Lion King" sometime.

Posted by: Panday at November 29, 2008 4:21 AM

GOP Mike, that is true, but as a redeeming factor, I thought the whole Melman/Gloria/Moto-Moto triangle in the movie drove home a good lesson for everyone, that love should not be based purely on physical attraction, but on genuine mutual care and concern. A big part of the reason why our country's divorce rate is so high is because so many people rush into marriages based on such shallow, trivial things as mere physical attraction (Which is all that Gloria and Moto-Moto had for each other), rather than a strong foundation based on a long- term relationship in which the people really do deeply care for each other (As Melman did for Gloria, and probably vice versa). In that sense, it's similar to the message put forth last year by Disney's "Enchanted," that marriage is not something that people should just rush into as quickly and thoughtlessly as possible.

Posted by: Adam at November 29, 2008 6:55 AM


Thanks for the info; I learned 2 things;
-next time I'm in jail, don't drop any soap near the penguin cellbloc

-Cancel all my AFLAC policies. My salesman looks too much like Danny De Vito.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at November 29, 2008 7:19 AM

And you know what else, gay penguins ain't hard to spot either.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at November 29, 2008 7:37 AM

Shooter, that penguin was just hopping around lookin' ALL pissed off, but effectively going nowhere. Just running around in circles, you know? No direction or purpose, just making a spectacle of itself.

You sure it wasn't Dino?

Posted by: hiram at November 29, 2008 8:42 AM

Naw, it couldn't be Dino. It wasn't squawking nonsense and it seemed to be jumping to the right.

Posted by: Hemlock at November 29, 2008 12:33 PM

We Spurwing Plovers are pretty streight birds i prefers a pretty she spurwing plover who has eyes for me good and rugged looks

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at November 29, 2008 1:02 PM

I know I'm gettin old!
When I first heard the phrase "gay rights" I stopped laughing after about an hour. Then the Irish lesbians wanted to march in the St Patrick's Day Parade with their own banner.
Holy Mary Mother of God! And I don't have an ounce of Irish in me b'Jesus.
Then everybody coming out of the closet, I was afraid to get dressed in the morning. I guess none of my kids were hiding in any closets.
Now some folks don't know or can't decide what they are or what they want to be so they go changing from one gender to another.
A friend showed me a picture of what I thought was a rather attractive 35 yr old woman. He asked if I knew her. "Well" he said, "that's Dave, remember him? Dave that used to drink Jack Daniels with Italian food".
In the picture 'Dave' was in a bar/club setting, with some men and women in the background. I'm sure at least one poor bastard hit on him/her.
I'm so confused.

Posted by: Shooter1001 at November 29, 2008 1:08 PM

Does this mean there is going to be a sequel to March of the Penguins? Maybe Prance of the Penguins?

Posted by: marileewra at December 3, 2008 2:21 PM