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September 24, 2008

PETA Demands Ice Cream Be Made From Human Milk

Not even Obamunist-owned Ben & Jerry's is moonbatty enough for PETA, which is demanding that they make their ice cream out of human milk.

PETA believes this would "lessen the suffering of dairy cows." It hasn't occurred to animal rights kooks that if we didn't raise cows for milk, meat, and leather, very few of them would exist.

In keeping with the liberal practice of thinking in catchy but meaningless bumper sticker slogans, PETA Executive VP Tracy Reiman asserts that everyone knows "breast is best."

The principle might also be applied to artificial products like nondairy creamer, if prominent PETA spokesmoonbat Pamela Anderson is willing to put her synthetic assets to use.

pamela-anderson-peta.jpg
A use has finally been found for post-Baywatch Pamela.

On a tip from Al C.

Posted by Van Helsing at September 24, 2008 9:21 AM

Comments

Breast milk for Babies? Yes

Breast milk for everything else? F no, these people are just plain crazy and I've never took anything they've said seriously. These are the kinds of people that when your walking down the street and you see them, you think, "Get a job". Unbelievable.

Posted by: chad at September 24, 2008 9:33 AM

One more thing. These people would rather line up human cows to produce our milk over cow-cows? So much for woman's rights from the loonie-left.

Posted by: Chad at September 24, 2008 9:36 AM

Posted by: nanc at September 24, 2008 9:51 AM

You know, I never thought about it before, but I think I would like to work in a dairy.

Posted by: shunha7878 at September 24, 2008 9:54 AM

Code Pink volunteers to produce the first 1000 gallons of milk for Ben & Jerrys. Earth tilts off its axis when entire population projectile vomits in same direction.

Posted by: Corona at September 24, 2008 9:57 AM

If god didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?

People
Eating
Tasty
Animals

Posted by: Zen at September 24, 2008 9:57 AM

"PETA, which is demanding that they make their ice cream out of human milk."

If PETA wants to get into replacing meat products with the human equivalent, I will gladly let this babe evaluate my cut of flaming pork sword.

Posted by: Eneils Bailey at September 24, 2008 10:05 AM

I don't think you'd get milk out of Pam's, just some silicone.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 24, 2008 10:05 AM

and then all ice cream sales in the entire country will cease....

That is the freakiest, stupidest thing I've ever heard. First of all, it does NOT hurt the cow or harm her in any way to give milk. Dairy cows don't suffer! Milk cows are usually treated very well.

Second, women don't produce milk for long periods of time. (only while they are nursing their babies, maybe about a year). But cows produce milk for their entire adult life. (don't they??....I'm not really sure. I'm not a dairy scientist)

PETA people are NUTS!!! absolutely NUTS!!

Posted by: Andrea at September 24, 2008 10:06 AM

Andrea;

I grew up in the country; my best friend growing up (1/4 mile down the road) lived on a dairy. No, the cows don't naturally produce milk their entire lives. Only for about 2 years, and only after calving. That's the whole point of veal... get the cow pregnant, eat the calf & drink the milk. Repeat every 20-30 months.

Posted by: hiram at September 24, 2008 10:30 AM

Humans milk? Whats next?

SOYLENT GREEN ????

Posted by: Anonymous at September 24, 2008 10:37 AM

hiram said:

No, the cows don't naturally produce milk their entire lives. Only for about 2 years, and only after calving. That's the whole point of veal... get the cow pregnant, eat the calf & drink the milk. Repeat every 20-30 months.

So for the human dairy project to work, women have to made pregnant once in a year or so. More than that: the pregnancy has to be followed to its conclusion.

I keep reminding myself of how Grandpa Karl spoke of capitalism "collapsing under the weight of its own contradictions", and I have to get a replacement for my irony meter every time.

Posted by: Conservigilant at September 24, 2008 10:47 AM

We really need to hold these phonies up to the light. Most people still figure PETA is the equivalent of the ASPCA.

They are a radical, violent, human-hating organization that has about as much to do with protecting animals as Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn do with educating school children.

I cannot believe the American public does not marginalize and humiliate these assholes once and for all.

Posted by: matt at September 24, 2008 10:50 AM

Such a brainless, unpractical idea, it's not surprising Peta supports it.
Then again, I can see their reasoning, since Peta places much greater importance on the lives of animals than on the lives of human beings.

Posted by: Adam at September 24, 2008 10:51 AM

Wouldn't it be kind of difficult to get that much milk when liberals demand abortions?

Posted by: William Teach at September 24, 2008 11:40 AM

So by PETA's logic, the act of milking cows is offensive but milking human women, oh that's okay! If you are more offended by the idea of objectifying a cow than a human being, you need to be put in a straight jacket and hauled off to the loony bin ASAP.

Posted by: Anonymous at September 24, 2008 11:49 AM

Cows must be milked twice a day or they will suffer terribly, develop complications and likely die. Then again, if calves are aborted, there will be no milk. Same with humans. No baby. No lactation. No milk. What morons.

Posted by: rosie at September 24, 2008 12:09 PM

Is that what they call The Milk of Human Kindness?

Posted by: Anonymous at September 24, 2008 12:13 PM

Actually, humans can lactate for about 3-4 years but modern society makes beyond a year unusual and generally unnecessary. But it's entirely beside the point. There are sick babies in hospitals that cannot handle formula with mothers unable to nurse for various reasons that could use it more. Saving human babies would probably not be the preferred use for PETA.

Posted by: mandy at September 24, 2008 12:40 PM

So for the human dairy project to work, women have to made pregnant once in a year or so. More than that: the pregnancy has to be followed to its conclusion.

Hmmm...aren't lefties opposed to overpopulation? So for this to work, what happens to the "surplus population?" Will they be left out in the elements to expire as in Greek and Roman times? Or will they be given a more humane treatment and tossed into hospital soiled linen rooms?

http://www.wnd.com/index.php/index.php?pageId=67328

Can anyone tell me if breast milk has cream like cow's milk? Wait, I don't think I really want to know.

Posted by: Pam at September 24, 2008 12:48 PM

Proving that only a real stupid absolutly brainless person would have anything to do with these PETA jerks i mean proving that PAMELA ANDERSON is a real dumb blond ding dong ding bat and ALEC BALDWIN is stupid and BEN AND JERRYS ICE CREAM STINKS

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at September 24, 2008 12:58 PM

Where are the "women's Libbers" from the sixties who claimed then that women were treated LIKE CATTLE?
Oh that's right, they are now "LIberals" and DON'T CARE about women.

Posted by: KHarn at September 24, 2008 1:18 PM

The price would be prohibitive as well. I remember sometime back reading a thread somewhere speculating on human cheese. Of course there were the usual "fair trade" moonbats, and with those assumptions the price was estimated upward of $400/kg. I know Ben & Jerry's socialist icecream isn't cheap now, but after the wealthy get taxed out of existence, their market would disappear. Moonbats eat their own, hehe.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 24, 2008 1:34 PM

Conservigilant hit the proverbial nail on the head. Since milk is produced only by lactating females (meaning pregnant and nearing the time of delivery), we have to have factories full of these lactating women (Hey! PUTaH could call them Konzentration Lagers! Yeah, that's the ticket!).

Of course when the baby is (or babies are) born, they will have to be starved to death, or consume formula (mass-produced in China, no doubt), since the PUTaHs will want to have every drop they can squeeze out of each female's two teats (just like the cows they so love and adore!) for their ice cream production line. Then, as soon as the milk dries up, the Master Race can have selected PUTaH males mate with the women again, in order to get them knocked up as soon as possible and lactating.

Man, wish I'd thought of this brilliant plan. Looks like Pam "Ditzy" Anderson could be the poster-girl for the new factories -- too bad hers are fakes . . .

PUTaH is Debbie Schlussel's term for these morons: "People for the Unethical Treatment of animals and Humans." If you're familiar with Spanish, the word has a wholly different, and even more appropriate, meaning for this bunch of numbskulls.

Posted by: jc14 at September 24, 2008 1:58 PM

Hey, Soylent Veal! Problem solved!

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 24, 2008 2:17 PM

Ah,But human milk comes in those cute containers!!

Posted by: dave at September 24, 2008 2:25 PM

Hmmm... humans for milk, and eventually meat (*hat tip to the Soylent Green reference*), and then the infants could be raised to repopulate the "dairy" and "meat" plants, and then there would be a whole new class of slave workers to be exploited (and excreted). And the Moonbats would want us to accept that somehow, too.

Crap.

People Exercising Totalitarian Authority?
Let's hope not.

Posted by: Murff at September 24, 2008 4:20 PM

Can I volunteer to do the milking! No, really this is a great idea! It could really turn farming into a growth industry.

Posted by: Ricardian at September 24, 2008 5:11 PM

So let's keep abreast of the situation by having some creative names for the ice cream, itself.

Posted by: on-the-rocks at September 24, 2008 7:40 PM

We need to keep abreast of the situation by coming up with some creative names for this new ice cream formula.

Posted by: on-the-rocks at September 24, 2008 7:50 PM

The principle might also be applied to artificial products like nondairy creamer, if prominent PETA spokesmoonbat Pamela Anderson is willing to put her synthetic assets to use.

Kill two birds with one stone, I'm sure she could also supply several bakeries with all the yeast in her..

Never mind.

Posted by: mandible claw at September 24, 2008 7:54 PM

Mary's Mint

Nancy's Neapolitan

Carla's Chocolate

Rhonda's Rocky Road

Vicki's Vanilla

(that last one got me daydreaming about a girl I know.....yum!)


Posted by: Doug at September 24, 2008 7:58 PM

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Posted by: uppitychuck at September 25, 2008 12:17 AM

If we didn't raise cattle for meat or milk, the "liberated" remnant would be swiftly dispatched by predators or starve during the first winter. Just like dogs, cattle have been domesticated for so long that they depend on humans to survive.
Cats, on the other hand, would hardly miss us.

Posted by: Paul Moore at September 25, 2008 1:03 AM

Sorry for the double post, just a little computer glitch.

Posted by: on-the-rocks at September 25, 2008 3:52 AM

Looks like she has some Pinocchio-action going on with that nose.

Posted by: Joe Mama at September 25, 2008 5:02 AM

Only a person completly without a brain would have anything to do with PETA i mean their so absolutly stupid someone should tell them to GO JUMP IN A LAKE and suck their BEN AND JERRY Puke Past Ice Cream up their noses

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at September 25, 2008 6:53 AM

Pinocchio? More like WC Fields.

Posted by: Pam at September 25, 2008 6:55 AM

More new flavors...

Michelle Obama's Bitter Chocolate Milk-Orama
Nancy P's Let 'em Eat CHEEZ-Cake
Roseanne's Nut-Barr
Barbra's Berry Berry Crazee
Pamela's Silly Cone Surprise
Oprah's Phony Spumoni

Posted by: Kathleen at September 25, 2008 7:43 AM

I remember a few years ago an independent grocer here in Kentucky got pissed off at Ben and Jerry's he banned their product from his store and replaced it with Hagen-Dazz. A great American!!!

Posted by: Robert at September 25, 2008 12:46 PM

I cow is more intellegent then some jerk from PETA and BOYCOTT BEN & JERY ICE CREAM

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at September 25, 2008 1:27 PM