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June 30, 2008

Nanny Nazis Regulate the Holes in Salt Shakers

Nothing could be too small to escape the notice of Britain's totalitarian Nanny State — not even the holes in a salt shaker:

Pot-holed roads, crumbling schools, litter-strewn streets — there's no shortage of problem areas crying out for their attention. But councils believe they have found a better use for their money: reducing the number of holes in chip shop salt shakers. Research has suggested that slashing the holes from the traditional 17 to five could cut the amount people sprinkle on their food by more than half. And so at least six councils have ordered five-hole shakers — at taxpayers' expense — and begun giving them away to chip shops and takeaways in their areas.

Salt — an essential nutrient, without which many foods don't taste very good — is on the rapidly expanding list of substances bureaucrats have decided we need to be protected against.

Unfortunately, people have been seen unscrewing the lids of the five-hole shakers to get at the salt inside. Clearly legislation is required to prevent this. Alternatively, they might try non-opening shakers with no holes and no salt.

On a tip from mega.

Posted by Van Helsing at June 30, 2008 9:05 AM


On a related and totally not off-topic story, British council posters celebrate cleaning up puke. Spending taxpayers money to remind taxpayers how grateful they should be to have bureaucrats who spend their money.

Posted by: V the K at June 30, 2008 9:40 AM

No doubt about it. Those boys have a lot of holes in their lids.

Posted by: Jimbo at June 30, 2008 9:43 AM

Spending taxpayers money to remind taxpayers how grateful they should be to have bureaucrats who spend their money.
Posted by: V the K at June 30, 2008 9:40 AM

Yep, look at how proud they are for their "cradle to grave" handouts:

"From archaeology to zoology, from cradle to grave, councils provide over 800 services to improve people's lives and help them get safe and sound through the day."

According to them, without the government there to wipe our bo-heinys, we simply couldn't make it through life.

Posted by: Lyle at June 30, 2008 11:04 AM

wow that is some pic, V the K. An obese, half-dressed whore vomiting in the middle of the street. I guess that is England's vision of its culture, or an attempt at humor or something.

I could swear there was a time when British humor was witty, sardonic, and sophisticated. But maybe it was just too long ago and I don't remember right.

Posted by: mega at June 30, 2008 12:34 PM

This is so eco-typical. Despite decades of recommending reductions in dietary salt, the medical community has yet to unearth any convincing evidence that salt is actually a danger, either to normal people or even those with high blood pressure. Does this remind you of anything?

As with global warming, the eco-zealots will seize any opportunity to purvey gloom and doom upon mankind. The fact that the salt bogeyman persists after what -- 50 years? -- despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, does not bode well for the world with respect to the global warming debate. Evidence matters naught to the disciples of eco-moonbattery. No matter how much evidence we have on our side, it may be impossible to turn the global warming juggernaut around.

Posted by: ent at June 30, 2008 2:19 PM

Is this the same council that a year back tried to get the food servers to buy such shakers and were laughed at? So now they will have "free" (i.e. tax money bought) ones?

And all over a non-existent problem. Unlike fat, the body rather efficiently gets rid of excess salt, it is not stored. And the "daily requirement" they insist we try to get under is a minimum need, not a maximum surviveable. So they cannot even read at age-seven level, which somehow makes them competent to decide every bit of minutiae in the lives of all.

Posted by: teqjack at June 30, 2008 2:42 PM

EU Monarch to go ahead with Lisbon Treaty despite EU rules stating all 27 nations must ratify . He also admits he designed in to create maximum confusion after original EU Constitution failure. They are "evolving" the way business is done in Brussels. No word yet on the price the Irish will have to pay for defying their king.

Posted by: mandy at June 30, 2008 2:50 PM

Posted by: V the K at June 30, 2008 3:02 PM

Salt is good for the joints and persperation, or so I've been told. Salt also cures built-up "stuff" that can seal your eyes shut durring an illness (I don't know what it's called, but it happened to me once and I have heard of a couple of cases in the tropics durring World war Two).

So if the English people start to have health problems later in life, the high and mighty Town Council members have no one to blame but themselves.

Posted by: KHarn at June 30, 2008 4:37 PM

Just when it seems that the idiocy in the US is unbearable I always seem to read something about life in GB that makes me think..."Not so bad." And I remain comforted by the fact that we have not yet been disarmed (and will not likely tolerate an attempt at that) and will still be able to fight back if it comes to it. Unlike our poor castrated European cousins. Anyway this story makes me want to go drink a bit of good American whiskey, eat some salty chips and a big fat burger, then smoke my pipe while I clean my firearms. May God and Mr Colt save me from those wanting to do me good. And btw, I can clean up my own puke. But thanks.

Posted by: Rick at June 30, 2008 5:23 PM

Dammit, if I want 17 holes, give me 17 holes!

If you give me 5 holes I will shake it 3 remainder 2 times as long!

Next thing you know they'll be giving us cars that shut off cylinders when they're not needed. I want all 8! Or giving me low-calorie substitutes. I want my non-nutriative high fructose corn syrup!

And don't tell me inflation is just 4.5% when calculated using the old method it's 11.6%. My pension is based on the inflation rate!

Vote for me and we'll keep it real.


Posted by: Dan Quayle at June 30, 2008 6:11 PM

"Unfortunately, people have been seen unscrewing the lids of the five-hole shakers to get at the salt inside. Clearly legislation is required to prevent this."

Oh that's simple. They'll just blast the brains out of the misbehaving 5-year-old or whoever. Politicians need to get their rocks off too.

Posted by: Corona at June 30, 2008 6:18 PM

Posted by: Smoke TNT at June 30, 2008 8:09 PM

smokeTNT, great post!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the finest examples of Euro-moonbattery of the year.

Posted by: mega at June 30, 2008 9:23 PM

This is the same kind of eco-mentality that created the low-flow toilet. Now people have to flush the damn head five or six times to get a load down. Or at least I do.

Posted by: bustoff at June 30, 2008 9:38 PM

TNT, mega - It will give liberals ideas - confiscate all ballots against Yomama as discriminatory.

Posted by: Jimbo at June 30, 2008 9:38 PM

If only salt shakers were all we had to worry about in Airstrip One.

Now a University is giving away flying lessons to Muslim students.

This is after our security services have recently warned that private airfields have poor security and could lead to a 9/11 style attack:

WTF?? Any chance of getting GW to slap Gordon Brown?

Posted by: essemess at July 1, 2008 12:40 AM

I'm ready to reap the rewards of the black market salt shaker business.

Posted by: vonster at July 1, 2008 5:56 AM

Putting moats around pubs will make people drink less as well - that'll be next.

Posted by: Bandit at July 1, 2008 7:43 AM

Forget the moats, Bandit, someone might drown! No, best to ban pubs and alcohol altogether, along with fish and chips.

Posted by: Pam at July 1, 2008 8:56 AM

And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all. Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall???

Posted by: CG at July 2, 2008 3:11 AM

What's that from, or is it your own work? It's catchy!

Posted by: Kharn at July 2, 2008 2:25 PM


It's from the Beatles'"A Day In The Life," off "Sgt Pepper's." Was the first thing that popped into my head after reading this story. I believe the reference in the song was to potholes, though.

Posted by: CG at July 3, 2008 3:08 AM

I beleieve the UK needs a revolution against the bureacracy that sees fit to count holes in salt shakers! We are so nannied it's becoming ridiculous - we have more CCTV cameras than anyone else yet we have more crime, we watch people watching people on telly, we're fed stories of "celebrity" people who don't matter to anyone or anything except themselves, we're encouraged to live up to them, our lives are stored on devices that are treated like a paperback book and left on public transport. Kids can't play conkers, I bet they can't even climb trees now without a harness and mattress below. And after a week of getting stressed watching the news and the latest mugging/shooting/war we go to the chip shop to find our salt shakers have even been tampered with!

Next thing is the fish and chips will have to be fried in water! They are not, and never will be, meant to be a healthy option - they're our Friday night treat along with beer or two after watching/witnessing the crazy world the people WE invited to govern us are creating for us.

Let the revolution begin - I say PULL THE TOPS OFF THE SALT SHAKERS. Just give us this one small piece of control we feel we have over our lives. And vote for the Monster Raving Looney Party - as ever they talk more sense than any UK government I've had the please to witness.

Posted by: DH at July 3, 2008 6:02 AM

It's probably dangerous to inject that much salt into the environment. Better dilute it by melting the icecaps or something.

Posted by: Partiot at July 6, 2008 12:23 PM