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May 5, 2008

Next on the Moonbat Agenda: Plants Rights

"Stay Off the Grass" signs may take on new import in light of European efforts to extend human rights to plants:

At the request of the Swiss government, an ethics panel has weighed in on the "dignity" of plants and opined that the arbitrary killing of flora is morally wrong. This is no hoax. The concept of what could be called "plant rights" is being seriously debated.
A few years ago the Swiss added to their national constitution a provision requiring "account to be taken of the dignity of creation when handling animals, plants and other organisms." No one knew exactly what it meant, so they asked the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology to figure it out. The resulting report, "The Dignity of Living Beings with Regard to Plants," is enough to short circuit the brain.
A "clear majority" of the panel adopted what it called a "biocentric" moral view, meaning that "living organisms should be considered morally for their own sake because they are alive." Thus, the panel determined that we cannot claim "absolute ownership" over plants and, moreover, that "individual plants have an inherent worth."

This is a natural progression of the depraved lunacy resulting from the disavowal of the human soul. According to liberal dogma, human life is just a random, meaningless accident. Therefore, it's okay to kill your baby, and as PETA's Ingrid Newkirk puts it,

A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.

Now we can add to that, "is a clump of crabgrass."

One of the near-term consequences of this latest advance in moral depravity is the likely finding that the genetically modified crops we need to combat world hunger would compromise "plant dignity" by causing plants to "lose their independence." Feeding the hungry may turn out to be immoral, according to our elitist priesthood of militant moonbat nihilists.

Ingrid Newkirk's depravity has been surpassed.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin; on tips from ToddonCapeCod and Burning Hot.

Posted by Van Helsing at May 5, 2008 8:10 AM


Maybe the trees made up global warming and radical feminism to depopulate the earth so the forests could spread?

They aren't as innocent as they seem. Just ask Sonny Bono.

Posted by: mandy at May 5, 2008 8:29 AM

Reminds me of that episode of the TV series Tales of the Unexpected where a scientists developed a machine that could "hear" plants screaming as they were "murdered" by humans.

Over the weekend there was a news story on how people in Haiti were so hungry they were making cookies/cakes out of mud! The reporter even took a bite of one. Eww!!! Maybe the Moonbats will make us all eat mud? Or maybe not as mud is the skin of Mother Earth - must eat the flesh of the Earth!!

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 8:36 AM

Tales of the Unexpected - not bad for a British TV series...

- The Sound Machine: A bloke invents an ultrasonic hearing device, and discovers the screams of plants whenever they're pruned, leading the ubiquitous pained outburst: "The plants...they're intelligent and defenceless...every time we uproot one, they scream in agony and we are oblvious to their misery...oh farms across the world, whenever a combine harvester cuts the wheat - thousands of voices - screaming! Screaming for their lives! (buries hands in face) Oh my god!!"

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 8:40 AM

Hmmm... sounds like the plot of an M. Night Shyamalan film... nah, he'd never make anything THAT stupid...

Posted by: Thulsa Doom at May 5, 2008 8:42 AM

Or that absolutely dreadful Space 1999 episode, "Rules of Luton."

Meanwhile, Dartmouth professor sues university because students asked too many questions, challenged her theories.

Posted by: V the K at May 5, 2008 8:47 AM

M Night should remake DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS !!! I remember seeing that on a rainy Saturday afternoon on Science Fiction Theater back in the 70s.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 8:48 AM

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

Steven Wright

Posted by: mega at May 5, 2008 8:54 AM

Space: 1999 Season was almost uniformly awful after that Star Trek guy Frieberger or whatever his name was took over as producer. Season 1 however was mostly excellent - once you get past the impossibility of launching the Moon out of orbit. War Games was a classic (despite the use of cardboard Eagles) and the best was Dragons Domain - basically the template for ALIEN - the writer admitted thats where he got the idea from.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 8:56 AM

Posted by: V the K at May 5, 2008 9:01 AM

Famous killer plant movies - How could we forget ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES !!!


"Attack of the killer tomatoes! Attack of the killer tomatoes!
They'll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch and finish you off for dinner or lunch!
They're marching down the halls - They're crawling up the walls
They're gooey, gushy, squishy, mushy - Rotten to the core
They're standing outside your door!

Remember Herman Farbage while taking out his garbage
He turned around and he did see tomatoes hiding in his tree
Now he's just a memory!
I know I'm going to miss her - a tomato ate my sister
Sacramento fell today - They're marching in San Jose
Tomatoes are on their way!

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 9:03 AM

Anon.: Yep, "The Day of the Triffids" was one of my favorite sci-fi books growing up. Probably the basis of the story and movie, "Little Shop of Horrors," which tells pretty much the same kind of story (plants attacking and eating humans; the enviro-wackos must love that thought!).

Next, we'll not be able to swat those pesky mosquitos when they suck our blood, lest we be fined and imprisoned by our liberal nanny slave-masters. Cutting flowers for an arrangement for your dining room table? Fuhgggeddabboutttit!

Posted by: jc14 at May 5, 2008 9:12 AM

If the plant Moonbats get their way youll see commercials like these on TV.


"Poor Haitians Resort to Eating Dirt

Jonathan M. Katz in Port-au-Prince, Haiti
Associated Press

January 30, 2008
It was lunchtime in one of Haiti's worst slums, and Charlene Dumas was eating mud.

With food prices rising, Haiti's poorest can't afford even a daily plate of rice, and some must take desperate measures to fill their bellies.

Charlene, 16 with a month-old son, has come to rely on a traditional Haitian remedy for hunger pangs: cookies made of dried yellow dirt from the country's central plateau.

The mud has long been prized by pregnant women and children here as an antacid and source of calcium. But in places such as Cité Soleil, the oceanside slum where Charlene shares a two-room house with her baby, five siblings, and two unemployed parents, cookies made of dirt, salt, and vegetable shortening have become a regular meal.

"When my mother does not cook anything, I have to eat them three times a day," Charlene said. Her baby, named Woodson, lay still across her lap, looking even thinner than the slim 6 pounds, 3 ounces (2.7 kilograms, 85 grams) he weighed at birth.

Though she likes their buttery, salty taste, Charlene said the cookies also give her stomach pains. "When I nurse, the baby sometimes seems colicky too," she said.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at May 5, 2008 9:13 AM

Another gem - Episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation when "Weasely" Crusher accidentally steps on the flowers of an alien planet and is sentenced to DEATH. Most Trek fans would have preferred the death sentence be carried out as he was the most annoying Trek character ever.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 9:30 AM

Over the weekend there was a news story on how people in Haiti were so hungry they were making cookies/cakes out of mud! The reporter even took a bite of one. Eww!!!

Now they're oppressing Gaia too! Oh my God!

I'm starting the Mud Liberation Front. Who wants to get in on the ground floor of the next psychosis liberal cause?

Our slogan: Dirt. Respect it, wear it, don't eat it.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 5, 2008 9:43 AM

By way of coincidence today, I've been weeding the garden. Already concerned at the carbon sequestered in the weeds which will now be emitted (so, praise Gaia, I'm going to encase them in concrete and bury them in a geologically stable repository), I now realise I'm being some kind of kingdomist nazi by preventing their growth; indeed I've committed a kind of couch grass genocide, oh lawks.

I would take some comfort from the bluebells I've liberated, but of course that's elitism and, looking at the huge number of weeds, I mean differently abled plant individuals, clearly I've erred as the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.

My elderly next door neighbour, Ron, has just appeared in his garden. I had thought he was being kind offering me the loan of tools, and advice. I now realise he is a plant genocidalist recruiter who has lured me into participating in this vegetable holocaust, this gang rape of Gaia. I see no choice but to creep into his garden under cover of darkness tonight and liberate his roses, which I've seem him more than once butchering without compunction, before it's too late.

Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at May 5, 2008 9:52 AM

Here an idea for a new sponsor for this site. An Australian Batter Company:

"Moon Batteries

4 South St, Ascot Vale, VIC 3032

p: (03) 9376 7801

Website - None Supplied

Email - None Supplied"

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 9:54 AM

Also, horrifyingly, my cat chased a squirrel into the house and, though we managed to liberate it back into the bosom of Gaia and out of our evil technological shelter construct, I fear that the cat has advanced sociopathic tendencies. I have thus shackled her in front of the TV watching an endless loop of An Inconvenient Truth, in the hope that she can be reformed before her murderous tendencies escalate to decimating the kindly, gentle polar bear population.

Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at May 5, 2008 9:55 AM

Most Trek fans would have preferred the death sentence be carried out as he was the most annoying Trek character ever.

More annoying than the Outrageous Okana? More annoying than Lwaxana Troi? More annoying than everybody on Voyager who wasn't 7 of 9?

Posted by: V the K at May 5, 2008 10:16 AM

Lwaxana Troi? Ok, but she wasnt on all that often - thank God. Okana? He was just in one episode, dont count him.

Voyager? None of them beats Weasley. They werent irritating just bland - looking constipated most of the time. Worst Voyager guest star - EcoNUT - Ed Begley Jr. Voyager crew was bland, but not nearly as bad as the entire cast of Enterprise who were about as exciting to watch as a people in the movie COMA - Captain Quantum Leap was the worst.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 10:57 AM

Did you ever get the idea that Janeway was *supposed* to be a terrible captain? I figure after all the good captains got wiped out at Wolf 359, Star Fleet command, um, lowered the bar a bit. I still find Chakotay and Neelix more annoying than Wesley, though. Especially Neelix.

Worst TNG guest star: James Worthy

'Enterprise' had two things going for it, though: Jolene Blalock.

Posted by: V the K at May 5, 2008 11:11 AM

The second place winning horse at the Kentucky Derby had to be put down because he broke both of his ankles in a fall. Being a lover of horses, it broke my heart to see this happen, but... under the circumstances what had to be done was done and the animal did not suffer. And these sorts of things happen and are unfortunate. Nobody feels worse than the owner, trainer and jokey when this happens. Anyone who watches thoroughbreds and knows horses will tell you these animals are born to run, and that racing is what they love to do.

Now comes the moonbat organization and enemy of mankind, PETA, insisting that this "jokey MUST PAY" for this horse's accident!

I think all parties involved are suffering enough. I simply hate PETA. What a bunch of 2 digit IQs!!!!

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at May 5, 2008 11:24 AM

Jolene Blalock - She as the only thing worth watching - basically a Vulcan version of 7 of 9 crossed with Spock. But not nearly as exciting as 7 of 9.

Oh the memories:

Posted by: Anonymous at May 5, 2008 11:42 AM

Blalock was wasted in that boy wig they stuck her in. Now as Mirror T'Pol, now that was nice.


Not that I'm sad as to have watched Enterprise, or anything.

Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at May 5, 2008 12:01 PM

You can make 'Enterprise' bearable by mentally substituting the words 'my boobs' for any use of the first person in Jolene Blalock's dialogs.

"My boobs detect no life signs on the planet's surface."

"My boobs served under Commander Sardok in the Vulcan high command."

Posted by: V the K at May 5, 2008 12:11 PM

Here's a "treat" for you all:
Read it, and enjoy. Or not! (Laughs EEEVILY)

Posted by: KHarn at May 5, 2008 3:08 PM

mandy at May 5, 2008 8:29 AM: "They (trees) aren't as innocent as they seem. Just ask Sonny Bono."

I'm sorry, but I find that incredibly... hilarious!

Posted by: PabloD at May 5, 2008 8:01 PM

As (squish) I (squish) type (squish) this (squish) sentence (squish) I (squish) am (squish) crushing (squish) countless (squish) innocent (squish) living (squish) microorganisms (squish) in (squish) apparently (squish) sociopathic (squish) and (squish) genocidal (squish) rage! (splat)

Posted by: BURNING HOT at May 6, 2008 12:22 AM