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November 29, 2007

Seattle Mayor Terrifies Children with Global Warming Lies

Seattle Mayor Gregory Nickels is exploiting even Christmas as an opportunity to shove the global warming hoax down the throats of children innocent enough to swallow it. At Seattle's tree-lighting ceremony, he frightened kids by telling them that Santa's home is melting because of their video games, before handing them highly toxic (but politically correct) compact fluorescent light bulbs.

The Washington Policy Center counters Nickels the Grinch with news that Santa is safe from the imaginary climate change crisis:

A study released earlier this month by NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory and led by a UW expert found that natural, cyclical factors were the likely cause of changes in the ice pack. Further, there have been recent indications that the trend in Arctic ice pack may be changing or unrelated to man-made greenhouse gases.
University of Washington researcher James Morison commented in the JPL press release that, "Our study confirms many changes seen in upper Arctic Ocean circulation in the 1990s were mostly decadal in nature, rather than trends caused by global warming."
"Ho, ho, ho! It is good to know that I will be safe at the North Pole for many years to come," said a jolly Father Christmas. […]
Santa was also pleased to hear that, despite Al Gore's claims to the contrary, ice at the South Pole is actually increasing, leaving options for relocation open.

If greenhouse gases really were a threat to the North Pole, Santa's own reindeer would be the culprits:

According to the Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten, the methane (a powerful greenhouse gas) released from one moose each year can equal the carbon footprint of a car traveling more than 8,000 miles. Moose and reindeer are both members of the Odocoilinae family. With eight reindeer, Rudolph and their associated families, Santa's team may be emitting more greenhouse gases than the Mayor's SUV and Al Gore's home combined.

Considering that the power bill at just one of the Goracle's numerous homes came to nearly $30,000 last year, that's quite a lot of gases — though not as much as global warming gasbags like Nickels have been emitting from their mouths.

Greg "the Grinch" Nickels, global warming gasbag.

On a tip from Scott.

Posted by Van Helsing at November 29, 2007 8:29 AM


What's up with that bouffant hairdoo???

Posted by: Joe Mama at November 29, 2007 8:48 AM

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head, I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain

With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln,
If you only had a brain.

Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore,
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more.

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain--Whoa!

Posted by: MIKE SHERRY at November 29, 2007 2:43 PM

Love that "deer in the headlights," "I haven't got the slightest idea what the f**k I'm doing in this job" look, there, Mayor Nickels.

I thank God every day that I don't live in Seattle or San Franfreakshow (or anywhere near or on the Left Coast, for that matter -- nice to visit; too many Moonbats in ascendance to even think of actually residing there).

Seattle, wake up and vote this POS out of office! [But I know you won't] . . .

Posted by: jc14 at November 29, 2007 4:29 PM

Doesn't Santa also have a South Pole base? That's not in any danger of melting, though it may end up buried under tons of all-time-high snow and ice.

Posted by: Scott at November 29, 2007 7:02 PM

Goodness gracious. That fat guy probably uses more chemicals on his tresses than any other 10 chicks in the Seattle area. Hmm. There's a bunch of filthy hippies up there, so amend my estimate and make it "80 chicks."

Posted by: skh.pcola at November 29, 2007 10:19 PM