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August 30, 2007

Global Warming Could Cause Cougar Attacks

As the global warming hoax begins its inexorable slide into well-deserved obscurity, its proponents are becoming increasingly shrill about the dangers of not taking them seriously. The latest menace: global warming could cause cougar attacks.

The logic is twisted like this:

Warmer winters kill off fewer deer, elk, and moose. This means more prey for cougars, whose numbers should grow correspondingly. More cougars, more cougar attacks.

Just this week a dog was attacked by a cougar in Canmore, Alberta. Let that lay heavy on your conscience if you're not driving a Pious.

Even more terrifying than the cougars is the vicious cycle created when the abundant moose further exacerbate global warming with their farts.

Further evidence of the link between cars and cougars.

On a tip from Texan.

Posted by Van Helsing at August 30, 2007 6:36 PM


Farts cause global warming? Ban burritos!

Actually, I think global warming is already past its sell-by date. Next stop: Ricky Martin/Spice Girls land. Right next to Y2K, the killer bees, and the hula hoop in pop culture silliness.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 30, 2007 6:57 PM

i have met that cat face to face as a teen living in coronado...

Posted by: nanc at August 30, 2007 7:15 PM

This reminds me of the "bovine flatulence" scare that surfaces from time to time:

If this whole Global Warming mess wasn't such a threat, it would serve as excellent comedy.

Posted by: AWOL Civilization at August 30, 2007 7:31 PM

From the article:

"More than 90% of all fatal North American cougar/human encounters since 1890 have taken place on Vancouver Island. Seven people have been killed by cougars between 1890 and 1990."

Okay, now do the math with me: seven people were killed by cougars in a 100 year period. If cougar attacks double, we can expect almost fifteen deaths by 2090. Oh, the horror! How can we survive such a holocaust? Won't somebody think of the children?!

Posted by: Uchuck the Tuchuck at August 30, 2007 7:43 PM

Enviros fight for the re-introduction and protection of species like wolves and cougars, but when something goes wrong with the growing populations, it's because of global warming causing too much feed. Good grief.

In moonbat logic, too few cougars and habitat destruction are bad and it's all "the Man's" fault. But, too many cougars and too much prey is "the Man's" fault too.

Posted by: forest at August 30, 2007 8:12 PM

Just heard the winter forecast - below normal with more snow than usual. If this happens, Im sure Al Bore will be blaming Global Warming.

Posted by: Anonymous at August 30, 2007 8:21 PM

dontcha hate it when the seasons are - uh - seasonal?

Posted by: nanc at August 30, 2007 8:27 PM

Some Cougar stew sounds mighty good right about now Granny!

Posted by: Arcticman Speaks! at August 30, 2007 9:33 PM

The Fear!!

Posted by: Dodger at August 30, 2007 9:57 PM

Unless of course more deer means more deer hunters who will kill and eat the deer before the cougars do. If that doesn't work we will hunt and kill the cougars too. (Tastes like...)

This has got to be the first time I have heard an envrio worry about the numbers of an animal species increasing. Rising sea levels might increase the population of sharks too leading to more shark attacks too.

Posted by: Gregory at August 30, 2007 11:09 PM

Everybody keeps dancing around the obvious. This sporting life calls for more recipes involving envirowacko stew. I call it the Donner Initiative.

Posted by: Corona at August 31, 2007 4:23 AM

i have some great cat recipes.

Posted by: nanc at August 31, 2007 4:28 AM

OT: Gun don't kill people, criminals kill... mostly other criminals.

91% of homicide victims in Baltimore had criminal records. Take that! Moonbat Nazi Gun-Grabbers.

Posted by: V the K at August 31, 2007 6:35 AM

I would have LOVED to run into a "Cougar" when I was younger. I'm still confused as to why / how global warming is creating more "mature" ladies wanting younger mates.

Posted by: bjd at August 31, 2007 9:47 AM

>>Even more terrifying than the cougars is the vicious cycle created when the abundant moose further exacerbate global warming with their farts.

Well that will teach the moose a good lesson! Go cougars!

You can have my share, I'm er, not hungry.

Posted by: KHarn at August 31, 2007 11:05 AM

Ah global warming. Check this out:

Al Gore, His Holiness


Posted by: aldro at August 31, 2007 1:19 PM

Oh I know, feed the moose to the cougers. It's a win-win solution.
I like the cartoon aldro :)

Posted by: Anonymous at August 31, 2007 5:46 PM