« Conference on World Affairs Exhorts Children to Have Gay Sex, Use Drugs | Main | Greenies Demand 20 MPH Speed Limit »

May 17, 2007

Beeb Reveals: Gitmo Terrorists Really Are Tortured

To think I dismissed allegations of torture at Club Gitmo as the hysterical ravings of treasonous moonbats. Now the BBC reveals just what Pakistani terrorist Majid Khan has been forced to endure at the hell on Earth known as Guantanamo Bay.

Khan was busted for plotting to blow up gas stations right here in the USA. He has presented a Statement of Torture to a US military tribunal that includes the following shocking allegations:

  • Guards gave him new glasses, but got the prescription wrong.
  • They cut off his beard (probably to keep lice under control).
  • They kept him alive by making him eat when he was on a hunger strike.
  • They expected him to use "cheap, branded, unscented soap."
  • They presented him with a prison newsletter that was not to his liking.
  • They provided him with fans that aren't quiet enough.
  • They insufficiently inflated the balls in the rec room, so that they "hardly bounce."

This is not satire. The above are actual allegations of "psychological torture" dutifully passed along by the Beeb with a straight face. This is the "torture" the media has us feeling guilty about while al-Qaeda plans its next attack.

Posted by Van Helsing at May 17, 2007 9:19 AM


Wow! If that's considered torture, I have a huge grievance with my employer.

* Crappy 'Starbucks' coffee
* Sleep deprivation
* Forced to work with people who don't use any soap
* The air conditioner is too cold
* The company newsletter blows
* The receptionist's kids got lice...

I told my wife work was torture and she never believed me.

Posted by: Jimbo at May 17, 2007 10:45 AM

i'm tortured that they do not put these people to sleep when appropriate.

Posted by: nanc at May 17, 2007 2:09 PM

Hey, Khan! Now if you'd said the following, we in America might have had some sympathy with your whining, bitching and moaning (nah, probably not, you POS):

1. Performed a Kathy Bates/James Caan "Misery" on both of my feet;
2. Squoze my cojones in a vise, repeatedly;
3. Involuntary electro-shock therapy, and/or a frontal lobotomy, Jack Nicholson "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" style;
4. Took away my Koran and made me read the Holy Bible;
5. Forced me to eat BLT's every day for lunch;
6. Forced me to listen to Barbra S. recordings, over and over and over again.

Posted by: jc14 at May 17, 2007 5:46 PM

How have these brave "freedom fighters" held on this long? Half-inflated balls in the rec room? What is this world coming to?!?!?!!!

Posted by: ToddonCapeCod at May 17, 2007 7:01 PM

If I was in command of Club Gitmo we'd know exactly where binladen is by now. We'd know his daily schedule right down to when he gets his toe nails clipped... These pieces of crap are not protected by the Geneva Convention or our Constitution so anything goes. They'd be begging for the water board...

Posted by: Kerry at May 18, 2007 2:09 AM

To "Liberal" Elites, who can't stand any kind of inconvenience, discomfort or sacrifice, that list WOULD constitute psychological torture. The B.B.C. was probably being very honest, even though that is a tough call for Leftists.

Posted by: Toa at May 18, 2007 5:53 AM