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May 24, 2007

A Peek at NYC's Near Future Under Mayor Mike

Maggie's Farm has a look at next year's New York Times, and sees where Mike Bloomberg has been taking the Big Apple with his endless barrage of intrusive nanny-state regulations. A new program called "A City That Really Cares" will ban the following for the sake of our safety:

  • Women's heels over 2" high.
  • Sunbathing.
  • Asking employees to spend more than three hours a day at a computer, due to the risk of carpal tunnel syndrome and eye strain (Bloomberg employees exempted).
  • Smoking in vehicles other than golf carts, limos, private jets, and helicopters.

These things are good, so they will be required:

  • Warm scarves and wool hats when the temperature drops below 40°F.
  • Sturdy rubbers when it rains, lined boots when it snows.
  • Hats on sunny days.
  • A serving of broccoli and carrots with every restaurant meal.

The initiative will be enforced by the NYPD's new 1,000-man Public Health Unit, which will have rights to enter people's homes to make sure they aren't smoking or eating trans fats.

Phase Two of the program will address other public health menaces, such as eggs, meat, cheese, and overly tight lingerie.

"Hmm… maybe we need a law against sharp beaks."

Posted by Van Helsing at May 24, 2007 8:27 AM


This dude is bad news, I knew it from the start. But hey its NY the state that worships the Clintons, the Jacksons and the Sharptons.

Posted by: wiz at May 24, 2007 8:50 AM

What, no law against running with scissors? Or is that already a capital offense?

Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 24, 2007 9:51 AM

EAGLE: "I'm taking over New York, you WUSS!"

Posted by: KHarn at May 24, 2007 10:41 AM

He should try to hook up with the folks in Berkeley, then he could really have some fun with those New Yorkers.

Posted by: Mike Hayden at May 24, 2007 12:02 PM

LOL good job, Maggie's farm!

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2007 8:10 PM

Mike, that article about Berkeley is SCARY.

Posted by: Anonymous at May 24, 2007 8:14 PM