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April 2, 2007

Supreme Court Rules Against Breathing

In an ominous indication that our civilization is preparing to plunge into a self-induced decline, the Supreme Court is now legislating environmental fanaticism from the bench, with cavalier disregard for potentially devastating economic consequences.

In a 5-4 ruling, the Supremes decided that CO2 — you know, that stuff that comes out of you when you breathe — is an air pollutant subject to federal regulation under the Clean Air Act.

As if fancying themselves to be scientists, the court's majority repeated the familiar dubious theory about CO2 causing the climate to warm as justification for granting potentially totalitarian power over every aspect of our existence to moonbat bureaucrats for the sake of addressing a problem that exists mainly in the fevered imaginations of political fanatics.

According to the court, the EPA must now prove that greenhouse gases do not contribute to climate change, or else impose new regulations that would probably cripple the automotive industry. Since proving a negative in this sort of context is virtually impossible, this is not the time to buy stock in GM.

In his dissent, Chief Justice Roberts observed that even if the global warming hoax were real, it would be up to elected authorities and not an authoritarian court to determine how it should be addressed.

Justice John Paul Stevens spoke for the court's authoritarian moonbat contingent.

On a tip from Kevin.

Posted by Van Helsing at April 2, 2007 8:43 PM


Here a solution: Ask everyone if CO2 is serious problem requiring immediate action and extreme sacrifice.

If they answer NO. move on to the next person.

If they answer YES. Remove the engine from their car(s) and fill the engine compartment with concrete. Shut down electric and natural has service - force them to buy a windmill or solar panels. Ban them from excercising as they exhale more CO2 than while at rest.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at April 3, 2007 6:05 AM

Something that seems to be common in pictures of these 'stab-your-own-country-in-the-back' moonbats is that they have this self-diluted, s*** eating grin, like the image of Pinch from the NYT. It's a proud smile that you can expect to find on the face of the latest liberal bandwagon captain.

Posted by: MB at April 3, 2007 9:11 AM

Truly appalling ruling that again shows the court to be legislating from the bench. Also shows at least one "conservative" judge backslid again. I think it is time for Congress to step in and return the court to the stall in which the Founders placed it-they have no such power as this.

Posted by: Chris at April 3, 2007 10:51 AM

Jack, I love that idea.

Unfortunately, you have to remember, they are more equal than you.

Posted by: Steve at April 3, 2007 4:32 PM