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April 29, 2007

Dan Simpson's Disarmament Plan

One nice thing about liberals who work for newspapers instead of the government is they can be more upfront about their contempt for our constitutional rights. For example, Dan Simpson, a member of the editorial boards of the Blade and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, explicitly lays out what should be done about those who assert our Second Amendment right to own firearms.

First, Simpson establishes his credentials as an open-minded guy, and not "a crazed liberal zealot":

I don't have any problem with hunting, although blowing away animals with high-powered weapons seems a pointless, no-contest affair to me.

Now, on to pacifying the American population:

First of all, federal or state laws would need to make it a crime punishable by a $1,000 fine and one year in prison per weapon to possess a firearm.

Thanks to Simpson's open-mindedness, hunting would still be allowed. But to prevent the nation of child slaves envisioned by liberals from using guns for self-defense against criminals or government tyranny, hunting weapons would be stored in armories. Hunters would only be allowed to use them upon submission of the proper forms, provided they passed "federal, state, and local checks" and held valid licenses — and even then only at the discretion of bureaucrats.

Simpson's brand of totalitarianism extends beyond hunting rifles. "Weapons of war" would be outright banned. As for collector's pieces:

All antique or interesting non-hunting weapons would be required to be delivered to a local or regional museum, also to be under strict 24-hour-a-day guard.

Few self-respecting American would voluntarily submit to being disarmed by the squishy invertebrate vermin who run our newspapers. That's why police state tactics would have to be used:

Special squads of police would be formed and trained to carry out the work. Then, on a random basis to permit no advance warning, city blocks and stretches of suburban and rural areas would be cordoned off and searches carried out in every business, dwelling, and empty building. All firearms would be seized. The owners of weapons found in the searches would be prosecuted: $1,000 and one year in prison for each firearm.

A martial law approach would be used to keep areas free of guns:

[F]airly quickly there would begin to be gun-swept, gun-free areas where there should be no firearms. If there were, those carrying them would be subject to quick confiscation and prosecution. On the streets it would be a question of stop-and-search of anyone, even grandma with her walker, with the same penalties for "carrying."

Presumably our liberal masters would then move on to confiscating all sharp objects and blunt instruments. After that, they might have our teeth pulled and our fingernails removed so we can't bite or scratch when they come to take our property away.

It would be a mistake to assume that because we defeated Hitler, Imperial Japan, and the Soviet Union, we can easily defeat sniveling liberal mollusks like Dan Simpson. The enemy within is by far the hardest to fight.

Dan Simpson, fascist mollusk.

On tips from MoleOnABull and Brooklyn Red Leg.

Posted by Van Helsing at April 29, 2007 11:19 AM


Let me suggest the following legislation be put in place in all states and at the Federal level:

Government and law enforcement are prohibited from confiscating anyone's firearm unless the following situations exist:

1. The owner has been convicted of a violent felony.

2. The weapon has been used in commission of a violent felony.

3. A court order has been issued for the confiscation of the weapon because the owner has been found to be a threat to himself or others.

We have to pre-empt the gun-grabbers like Simpson and the mayor of Chicago through legislative action.

Posted by: V the K at April 29, 2007 11:45 AM

It's funny how liberals are all for totalitarian law enforcement against the American public, but cry endless tears for the "civil rights" of the cockbags in GITMO.

Posted by: sheentheman at April 29, 2007 11:48 AM

The reason we see them complaining about gun collectors and shooters instead of gangbangers, Muslim terrorists, etc. is that they wish to cozy up to the latter groups, degree by degree, with the view of someday persuading them to obtain "legitimate" positions as "Anti-Gang Units" and "Special Security Forces" used to subdue the unsavory elements of the Global Community who don't see things the way they do, and also to act as armed protection for the Elite against said unsavory elements. Sounds like paranoid rambling, I know, but this is a historical pattern even in the recent past: Hitler's S.A., Ho Chi Minh's Viet Cong, Mao Tse-Tung's Red Guards, Castro's Rapid Response groups...behind these "nice Liberal" smiles is a growing hateful monster.

Posted by: Toa at April 29, 2007 12:19 PM

I love the bit about searching and arresting "grandma with her walker".

These unithought troopers have immersed themselves so deeply with leftwing talking points that it expresses itself in such profound ways.

Simpson uses that sentence in order to appeal to the leftwing talking point which declares profiling as a rightwing tool of oppression. So under Simpson's new Socialist utopia everyone will be equally oppressed, including dear old "grandma with a walker" who isnt even strong enought to stand up on her own, let alone hold the weight of a gun and sure as hell not strong enough to pull the trigger. Of course the recoil will knock her down as well, but whos counting?

Posted by: Freedom Now at April 29, 2007 2:55 PM

Dan Simpson: The war at home.

The Bush administration mounts an audacious defense of its illegal spying on American citizens.

Posted by: Angel Elf at April 29, 2007 4:16 PM

Posted by: V the K at April 29, 2007 4:47 PM

quite a conundrum for the libs. On one had the mass disarmament of america. On the other hand wed have to build more prisons. What to do What to do.

Posted by: Johndoe at April 29, 2007 6:23 PM

What a degenerate douchebag!!!

They can pry my know the rest.

Posted by: Ed at April 29, 2007 8:17 PM

Heil, Simpson!

Our newest Reichsfuhrer SS and head of the American Gestapo no doubt hopes to ride this all the way to a Pulitzer Prize one day -- if he can get enough Moonbats and those cowed by these "new Nazis" to join him, that is.

One wonders what Mr. Simpson would do if he had the chance to protect his wife and children with a licensed, registered concealed weapon of his own should he and his family be accosted by a scumbag with a knife or gun on the streets of Pittsburgh one day -- would you let him get away with robbing you, and possibly raping your wife before your very eyes, and the eyes of your children, or would you kill the m-f, in a heartbeat? Aye, there's the rub for these liberal fascists (pardon the redundancy).

Posted by: jc14 at April 30, 2007 6:30 AM

NWO design is going according to plan:

1) Castrate US citizens by stealing our weaponry. Make us

2) Use the military/police force to keep us castrated.

3) Refuse to protect the borders, thereby allowing others to
overrun us and dilute our strength. Of course, THEY're armed

4) Make us slaves to usuary & to banks held by foreigners. Have
us pay ridiculous mortgages for properties that are worth 1/5
of what is actually paid.

5) Destroy all remnants of Christianity by watering down all that
Christ said and replacing Him with satanic obedience. Place
homosexuals (asherahs) in the pulpits. Make Christ the
enemy or remake Him into Satan's image.

6) Indoctrinate the youth with leftist, satanic principles. Have
them believe that Christians (real ones) are satanic.

7) Distract the populace with mindless, banal TV programming
& other forms of entertainment so as to dumb down the
masses from engaging in intelligent, organized revolt.
Religion isn't the opiate of the masses...TV is.

8) Keep the populace overfed, busy with mindless paperwork
and bureaucratic regulations. Fat, unhealthy people
who depend on their pills and insulin shots don't rebel.

The program is going very well and should be complete before 2008 is over.

Posted by: fellowes at April 30, 2007 8:30 AM

If anyone here thinks Fellowes is lampooning, think again. This is actually what they want to do. Next time around, I'll try to have the 10 Communist rules for revolutionizing a country with me, and post them here. They were written around the turn of the 19th-20th centuries, but we have been watching them come to pass for decades now.

Posted by: Toa at April 30, 2007 6:45 PM

Toa, please do. Am sure it's right on.

Posted by: fellowes at April 30, 2007 8:41 PM

I checked that article in the post gazette and my first reaction was this must be satire. A poorly thought out shitty attempt using Jonathan Swifts' - A Modest Proposal as a template. I read a few other articles of Dan Simpsons and after further study came to the conclusion that he is just a horse's ass. Unbelievable

Posted by: Tomslick at May 1, 2007 8:26 AM

Read "The Turner Diaries". I don't believe in Atheism, racism, murder, etc., but it's amazing how some of the politics described in this book are coming true.

Posted by: Patriot at May 6, 2007 8:54 PM