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March 22, 2007

Interplanetary Warming

The Goracle has been bellowing that "The planet has a fever." If so, it must be awfully contagious. The Martian South Pole's ice cap has been shrinking for several years. Jupiter is getting warmer too, and so is Pluto. As Fred Thompson remarks:

This has led some people, not necessarily scientists, to wonder if Mars and Jupiter, non signatories to the Kyoto Treaty, are actually inhabited by alien SUV-driving industrialists who run their air-conditioning at 60 degrees and refuse to recycle.
Silly, I know, but I wonder what all those planets, dwarf planets and moons in our SOLAR system have in common. Hmmmm. SOLAR system. Hmmmm. Solar? I wonder. Nah, I guess we shouldn't even be talking about this. The science is absolutely decided. There's a consensus.
Ask Galileo.
The world revolves around this, not Gore's moonbat ideology.

On a tip from Bergbikr.

Posted by Van Helsing at March 22, 2007 1:36 PM


Van H., you global warming denier. We bet you'd leave the speculative flame retardant baby with a fever in a burning crib, now wouldn't you. There's a consensus. It's decided. Move on, you.

Posted by: monsoon at March 22, 2007 4:38 PM

Hope he continues talking turkey to turkeys!

Posted by: nixonsninja at March 22, 2007 4:59 PM

Fred Thompson aka "The Guy From: The Hunt for Red October" totally rules!!

There have been rumors he might run for President. If he does, Ill vote for him and feel good doing it.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at March 22, 2007 5:26 PM

He is My choice, anybody who dated Lorrie Morgan gets my vote!

Posted by: beefeater at March 22, 2007 7:13 PM

I have to say I'm shocked, shocked I tell you (to quote Claude Rains), that Fred Thompson (and "Moonbattery") would have the audacity to bring up the fact that there is actually a gigantic ball of hot gas, busily fusing hydrogen into helium and other heavier elements, located an average of 93 million miles away from planet "Earf" which might, just might, have some very minor effect on the prevailing climate conditions on said planet.

Why, you all must be crazy! Don't you know that global warming is entirely the result of greedy Americans burning fossil fuels like gangbusters? Of course, the Indians and the Chinese doing the same thing, only more vigorously and with far less control over its effects on the environment, are totally exempt from this blame, since they're "developing" nations who need to have a little slack cut for them. So, please don't mention them; let's keep the blame squarely where it belongs: on the good ole' USA.

Don't you know that the "Earf" has never before warmed up or cooled down? Where have you been? Don't you read any history? The early 21st Century is the first and only time this kind of warming has ever occurred on this planet (if you call massive blizzards and record cold temperatures across the world throughout early 2007 "warming"). Man, you have really got to get it together -- put aside your skepticism and drink the Kool-Aid: algore is GOD! (I know, Clapton used to be GOD, but he's now been supplanted by the Goracle).

Believe, man, Believe! Let no fact or contrary circumstance stand in your way -- if algore says the Earf is warming up, and it's all our fault, it must be true! After all, he was almost our President, wasn't he?

Let's get with the program here, guys! Embrace man-made global warming as if God Almighty had come down from Heaven in the person of the great algore. Kneel! Pray! Beg for forgiveness and pay any price to assuage that burden of guilt -- algore commands it!

We'd better get right with "God," and I reckon we'd better hurry, cause we're all condemned to burn in Hell on Earf, and real soon!

Good luck to us all, and may the Goracle have mercy upon our souls.

Posted by: jc14 at March 22, 2007 7:56 PM

I rarely vote for the candidate on the ticket when it comes to the Presidency (I normally write-in "Bill & Opus") but I am SO voting Thompson this time, strictly for his giving the Goracle that backhanded smack!

Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin at March 22, 2007 10:59 PM

Maybe a few virgins thrown into a volcano will appease the Gaia. I know that will do just about as much as Kyoto would have to change the climate.

Posted by: Bob Fowler at March 23, 2007 10:09 AM

Al Gore has an announcement to make...

Posted by: Freedom Now at March 23, 2007 11:14 AM

Fred, please, please run for president! The country needs you.

Perhaps we could throw Algore into the volcano...he'd last a lot longer than a couple of skinny girls.

Posted by: Pam at March 23, 2007 11:24 AM

Before Fred Thompson was ever a congressman i loved him as an actor. Playing alongside Bruce Willis and William Sadler in Die Hard II. The guy understands what the Framers had in mind. When he and the rest of the members of the 1994 Republican takeover served their term - as they said they would, then stepped aside - as they said they would, i was so impressed. Fred was perhaps the most consistent reminder of that intent.

Term limits keep [or WOULD keep] those Kennedy-esque life-termers from enjoying a career full of tax-dollar-supplemented lifestyles and only occasional worthwhile policy-making. Our side of the aisle is no exception, of course. Fred's type of unique determination is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stench-laden beltway.

Buck up, campers; I see Fred running, even if a bit grudgingly. We'll see how long it takes the Breck Girl, Chillary, Obomba and the rest to accept their inevitable defeats. In closing i am sorry to hear about Mrs. Edwards, which should go well beyond mere politics. Thanks all - smell 'ya later.

Posted by: The Dead Fly at March 26, 2007 3:34 PM

Algore and Pumbaa have something in common......with them, everything's gas.

Posted by: ThisYearsModel at March 27, 2007 8:50 PM