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November 12, 2006

New Moonbat Bible

Moonbattery has done a nice job of streamlining morality. Where once we had ten commandments, now we have only one: Thou Shalt Have No Gods Before Political Correctness.

A German attempt to apply this principle to Christianity has resulted in a book entitled "The Bible in a More Just Language." It's a PC perversion of the Bible purged of "divisive" Christianity stuff. Its "more just language" is meant to appeal to feminazis and gays.

God and Jesus both become metrosexuals, devoid of gender. God is not "Father" but "our Mother and Father who are in heaven." Jesus is the "child," not the "Son." The Devil is still a guy though.

Past German attempts to revise Christianity include the "Volksbibel," in which Jesus multiplies hamburgers instead of fish and loaves. Maybe they should have quit after Martin Luther.

What will they do to it next?

On a tip from The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah.

Posted by Van Helsing at November 12, 2006 9:51 AM


Still waiting for them to change the Ten Commandments to the Ten Suggestions

Posted by: bird dog at November 12, 2006 12:39 PM

There's a version called The Message that translated the bible in to something a bit more modern. It's actually quite good. It does lose something in the translation, though, what with trying to express certain concepts in a language that is no longer capable of expressing them properly. Overall, not bad, because it doesn't try to hide what it is.

Posted by: Archonix at November 12, 2006 2:00 PM

I use 'The Message' as a teaching tool in my Sunday School class. I teach 12-13 year olds. (Scary thought if you've seen my blog).

Posted by: V the K at November 12, 2006 3:18 PM

No, the Germans should have stopped before Martin Luther.

Posted by: Mike Austin at November 12, 2006 3:57 PM

I use the Companion bible...E.W. Bullinger was the editor. He used the Massorah for this (Ginsburg was a big help there). It's pretty good. I just have to ignore Bullinger's tendency to overdo dispensationalism and yawn when he espouses rapture. Of course Bullinger's probably been dead for a 100 yrs. so I can't confront him on those topics.

Luther used Jerome's bad latin vulgate translation and of course that was a mistake but he probably couldn't help it since that was the only thing around at the time.

Posted by: jael at November 12, 2006 8:18 PM

And the greatest of all sins shall be this: Thou shalt not be a hypocrite. Therefore, thou shalt not have any standards whatsoever, for if thou haveth standards and not meeteth them, thou wouldeth be a hypocrite.

Posted by: class-factotum at November 13, 2006 6:41 AM

I recently heard of a weird, interesting translation. I was listening to a lecture on tape (during my long commute), this one was either about the middle ages or the crusades or something (I've listened to so many I can't keep them straight in my head).

It seems that someone had made a translation to help Islamic people learn about Jesus. So it had Jesus and his Apostles all as warriors. The scene in the Garden of Gesthemane was a heroic tale of the warrior Peter fighting the assailants, and describes the slashing off of the guys ear with blood and gore galore.

It said that the translator knew that his target audience did not respect someone who would have willingly allowed himself to be arrested. They wanted their leaders to be warriors who fought to the bitter end.

Hence, they didn't really respect the concept of Christianity which had Jesus being killed. They liked the idea of Mohammed, who was a warrior king in his own lifetime, as opposed to only in the afterlife.

Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at November 13, 2006 2:06 PM

I've actually bought the "bible in a more just language".
It's true that the translators have overdone it by feminilising almost all descriptions of men - but, and here's a big BUT, it makes clear that the bible as we normally know it is just a translation and it makes us think about what it wants to say us, instead of glueing to the words.

Posted by: Katrina at November 20, 2006 9:34 AM