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August 5, 2006

The World According to Uncle Fetzer

If you always wanted to try LSD but don't want to break the law or risk damaging your brain, you can simulate the experience by entering the world of Professor James Fetzer, a leading figure in the "9/11 Truth Movement." For the equivalent of taking an extra hit, check out the interview he did last month with fellow kookazoid Bill Deagle on Republic Broadcasting Network.

Listeners know from the start that it's going to be a bad trip when an intro reveals Bush's diabolical plan to divide the country into economic zones by building a 10-lane NAFTA superhighway from Texas to Duluth. The purpose is to advance the North American Union at the expense of American sovereignty, but the result will be to exacerbate global warming, which will cause life as we know it to be unsustainable.

From there, the interview does its best to go downhill. Screw Loose Change has transcribed a few lowlights:

DEAGLE: "[my patient] in fact was one of the 5 exposed to radiation from exploded micronukes in the Oklahoma City Murrah building that were..."

FETZER: "Micronukes in the Murrah building?"

DEAGLE: "Right."

FETZER: "Fascinating. Fascinating."


FETZER: "They're building these detention camps all over the country [...] I just think there's going to be a huge group of us marched off to these detention facilities when they perform the next phoney attack on the US, suspend the constition and turn the American military against the American people."

DEAGLE: [describes giant detention camps which can hold a million people each, including some in Canada with special rail connections, and some of the camps underground such as under 'DIA' (Denver International Airport)]

FETZER: "What in god's name is their plan... I've heard different speculations I've heard reports that they're equipped with full-sized guillotines suggesting that they're going to lop a lot of our heads off. I've also heard the idea of creating huge slave labour camps, so it's even cheaper for American corporations to produce their goods."

And then...

FETZER: "What's going on with this chemtrail business? What's the purpose of it, what's it accomplishing?"

DEAGLE: "Well its primary purpose is threefold. Number 1 it's to turn the air into a plasma so they can have geo-tectonic effects using scalar satellite-based technologies to trigger what's called the 'peizo-electic slip threshold' with specific harmonic frequencies of any [earthquake?] so they can trigger off an earthquake as a weapon anywhere on Earth, like the Bam earthquake in Bam, Iran that occured a little over a year ago. They can also set up what's called a trans-dimensional vortex..."

FETZER: "Just to translate this for some of our listeners because you're using a lot of very technical scientific language - what you're saying, Bill, let me translate it, is they can affect the weather, that they're doing things that will make the atmosphere more useful as a medium for using HAARP technology to bring about events like earthquakes, hurricanes, the whole bit."

DEAGLE: "Right. And they actually created what's called a trans-dimensional vortex that pulled in the storm cells that formed Katrina over New Orleans, that was done on purpose. Number 3, they're using it so..."

FETZER: "You're saying that Katrina was allowed to grow and become a force-5 hurricane and hit New Orleans on purpose."

DEAGLE: "On purpose."

FETZER: "Just elaborate on why."

DEAGLE: "Because first they had to destroy the oil production facilities down there they had to create a wetland which is part of the hijacking again, the use of the environmentalist movement. They had to allow only certain areas to be rebuilt which is what's happening we see [Donald Trump??]"

FETZER: "Just tell me a bit more about why, why did want to destroy the oil production facilities off the coast of Louisiana?"

DEAGLE: "It's the Goldfinger Effect, which is why we're in Iraq not to steal their oil but so nobody else..."

FETZER: "To make the cost of oil go up and up and up up because the supply has gone down and down and down."

I have to agree with Fetzer about one thing: the bizarre beliefs that flourish on the Left these days really are fascinating — in a morbid kind of way.

Uncle Fetzer.

On a tip from Byron.

Posted by Van Helsing at August 5, 2006 9:27 AM


Number 1 it's to turn the air into a plasma

AH yes, that favourite of people who learned Science from Star Tre?k: Plasma. Lets turn the air in to super-heated ionised gas that typically has a temperature of several hundred thousand degrees kelvin!

Ok, ok, that's a lie. Your typical neon sign is actually a plasma too and operates at something less than room temperature, but atmospheric gasses require a lot more juive to ionise them. The shuttle re-entering the atmosphere creates a plasma by travelling at hypersonic speeds, which puts the air directly in front and beneath it under great pressure and friction. Or, if you want your plasma, like, yesterday, set off one of those micronukes.

HOwever you cut it, unless those planes are dropping trails of nukes or travelling at hypersonic speeds there's no way in heave or hell they're making any sort of "plasma".

The rest looks like he's taken a few glances at Eric Hoagland's "Enterprise Mission", sliced out the sensible stuff and elaborated on the batshit insane stuff. At least Hoagland has the sense to try and fit real science in to his work. These people have obviously been watching too many re-runs of V.

Posted by: Archonix at August 5, 2006 11:59 AM

"DEAGLE: ".... They can also set up what's called a trans-dimensional vortex..."

That sound rather cool! Is that anything like a Stargate? Will they be selling tickets?

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at August 5, 2006 1:00 PM

After doing some research its gets worse! The government is in cahoots with the grey aliens.

Well, it looks like were pretty much screwed!

I always knew Thor was not to be trusted! That squinty eyed grey SOB.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at August 5, 2006 1:38 PM

It's a sign of something when people on one side of the political spectrum start sounding like chapters edited out of Robert Anton Wilson's ILLUMINATUS trilogy. I have NO idea what it's a sign OF, but it must be a sign.

(For those who haven't run into it, ILLUMINATUS is an elaborate joke-novel based on the assumption that all the conspiracy theories Wilson had run into as a letters editor at Playboy were true - even the contradictory ones. Worth reading at least once, as rare example of surrealist narrative art that works, sort of.)

Posted by: C. S. P. Schofield at August 5, 2006 8:30 PM

Is this chucklehead related to that lunatic, Art Bell?

Posted by: jael at August 5, 2006 11:04 PM

Knuckleheads like these have been around forever, remember the black helicopter crowd and the militia movements of the Clinton era? Nothing new here just the same old loony tunes crap amplified by the internet and improved information technology. I also disagree they are lefties most of them are libertarians who have sided with the lefties during the Clinton administration they were siding with the Repubs enemy of my enemy and all that.

Posted by: Oldcrow at August 5, 2006 11:28 PM

Sounds more like Chuck Harder than Art Bell (only as a matter of degree).

As for only five people being exposed to radiation from "micronukes" at OKC (or WTC, or whatever), the nuclear archive entry on suitcase nukes makes for some interesting reading: As little an excess as 10% (1.1 critical masses) can produce explosions of 10-20 tons. This low yield seems trivial compared to weapons with yields in the kilotons or megatons, but it is actually far more dangerous than conventional explosives of equivalent yield due to the intense radiation emitted. A 20 ton fission explosion, for example, produces a very dangerous 500 rem radiation exposure at 400 meters from burst point, and a 100% lethal 1350 rem exposure at 300 meters.So, a single "micronuke", limited by physics to a minimum yeild of 10 tons, already tops the 2ton equivalent yield of the OKC bomb. Even assuming that nukes of less than one-ton yield are possible using technology not known to the public, the radiation produced by the blast(s) would have cooked many more people in the vicinity. I arguing against fully-refined moonbattery with facts and figures? What am I thinking???

Posted by: prince of leaves at August 6, 2006 12:13 AM

This "interview" is the kind of thing you get when you put two lookies together in one place with no one to counteract either ...

Looniness that's so far out there that it's completely unbelievable.

It's a wonder these morons have an audeince.


Posted by: RightWingRocker at August 6, 2006 4:01 AM

Art Bell indeed, but it`s not lsd, it`s jimson weed. I mean look at the guy. Think he plays with himself?

Posted by: Mickey at August 6, 2006 4:39 AM

I remember Art Bell from the John Titor time traveler hoax a few years back.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at August 6, 2006 6:22 PM