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August 25, 2006

Lettuce Lurches to the Left

Is John McCain (aka Lettuce McStain) getting carried away in a premature effort to jockey leftward as part of a misguided election strategy? Or is the inner moonbat that led him into the unholy matrimonies that produced such abominable offspring as McCain–Feingold campaign finance reform and the shamnesty proposal he cosponsored with Chappaquiddick Ted once again flapping out of its cave?

McStain, who favors the bureaucratic crippling of industry and transportation to placate liberal ideologues who believe human activity is responsible for climate fluctuation, is participating in a junket that will include a stop in the formerly temperate Greenland (now covered in ice), where he and other Senators will solemnly observe the alleged effects of global warming.

The trip will also take him to a ritzy resort in Italy. There he will pose with other bloviators at an economic and political conference, no doubt sharing with them his conviction that the Industrial Revolution must be repealed, if that's what it takes to get him into the White House.

This follows on the heels of an unseemly accusation that President Bush tricked us into thinking that the war in Iraq would be "some kind of day at the beach." Apparently Lettuce wasn't listening in March 2003, when the first bombs were dropped on Baghdad, and Bush warned that the conflict "could be longer and more difficult than some predicted," and that "helping Iraqis achieve a united, stable and free country will require our sustained commitment."

Larry Sabato of University of Virginia's Center for Politics says McCain is trying to distance himself from Bush to appeal to moderates, but will soon tack back in the other direction, so that primary and caucus voters will think he supports the President.

"In the next two weeks, minimum, he will say some very positive things about President Bush and his Iraq policy," predicts Sabato, who jokes that McCain "was against President Bush before he was for him."

As for me, I was against Lettuce McStain before I was even more against him.

At least Lettuce seems to handle his liquor better than his buddy Alan Colmes.

Posted by Van Helsing at August 25, 2006 6:49 AM


I think you'll fine he 'tricked'the American public into believing it was anything to do with 9/11.. You'd have thought though that they would have worked out how long to defeat Saddam though - simply collect all the weapons recaptured and tick them off the receipt!!

Posted by: Trickery at August 25, 2006 7:52 AM

Saying the Earth has warmed a little in the last 150 years is like saying its warmer in July than January (in the US)

It probably has more to do with that giant fusion reactor at the center of the solar system than anything else.

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at August 25, 2006 8:03 AM

Good laugh, I needed that - thanks ripper.. was waiting for them to suggest the world was only 6000 years old - little dissappointed that didnt happen..

For a slightly duller, buy maybe more respected read, try this instead:

Then maybe realise that 'believing' in Global Warming is nothing to do with your politcal stance

Who knows what we can accomplish tomorrow

Posted by: Junk Scientist at August 25, 2006 8:29 AM

So McCain is going to tour Greenland to see the dire effects of global warming. Ace has a post today about "scientists" claiming to have discovered the testicles of Greenland polar bears are shrinking (and V.H., you thought they had problems being stuck out on ice floes, courtesy of Time mag.) At least McCain can take some comfort knowing that if some big albino-white bear picking a banjo in Greenland tries to make him squeal like a pig, the thing's balls won't be as big as the coulda been.

See Ace:

Posted by: monsoon at August 25, 2006 10:41 AM

New Scientist, rspected? Perhaps, in the same way that The New York Times is respected. Frankly NS has gone downhill in the last 15 years and is little more than the scientific equivalent of Hello! magazine. It's been an editorial policy at NS to push global warming and ignore any scientific papers that dispute it for a long time.

Once again, as I pointd out in a previous thread, the fact remains that CO2's infra-red absorption bands fall largely within those of common water vapour. There's also the little problem of saturation. These bands are absorped up to nearly 100% by water vapour and naturally occuring CO2 already, so the addition of more CO2 has a negligible effect on the total absorption rate.

Methane is now being treated as the new culprit in anthropogenic global warming, but methan decays in to CO2 with a very short period, often a year, sometimes less than a few months depending on the amount, which brings us back to the old absorption saturation point again.

The reality is, our actual contribution to the so-called greenhouse gasses were miniscule to start with, and the effect of increasing those gasses is probably unmeasureable. It's unfortunate that science has been abandoned in the pursuit of certain social - and socialist - objectives when there are other, much more pressing needs to be dealt with. The global warming scam is doing more damage to our ability to solve real and imediate problems.

Posted by: Archonix (in paraguay) at August 25, 2006 1:36 PM

Paraguay? Dude, I have totally wanted to visit Paraguay ever since PJ O'Rourke wrote about it back in the 90's.

And, consider this, why does the left treat Global Warming as a moral issue instead of an enineering issue? It seems the entire point of the left-wing global warmining crusade is to condemn heretics who refuse to pay homage to the great Goddess Gaia by sacrificing their lifestyle to service of the great gods of socialism and environmentalism.

On the other hand, if we addressed climate change as an engineering challenge, the question would be, how do we develop better means of coping with potential impacts... instead of this "How can we get the peasants to stop driving SUV's, traveling on jets, and otherwise enjoying the type of lifestyle only elites ought to enjoy?" that dominates the left-wing "Global Warming" crusade.

Posted by: V the K at August 25, 2006 6:14 PM

How come alan has no arms? Oh, thats right, he`s a liberal.
John McKennedy, indeed.

Posted by: mike at August 25, 2006 6:22 PM

I wonder if McCain will be treated to the remains of the Norse settlements in Greenland that were subsequently abandoned due to The Little Ice Age?

Speaking of which, I think someone should start a lawsuit on behalf of those dead Greenland colonist who were basically abandoned by their 'Native' brothers to die due to the ever worsening clime in the early 1400s. You know...the Inuit, those 'peace-loving, nature worshipping' natives.

Posted by: Brooklyn Red Leg at August 25, 2006 8:08 PM

Aye, Paraguay. I've been somewhat turned on to the problems of rainforest depletion and other such problems while I've been here, though it was always at the back of my mind. The real and absolute tragedy of the global warming scam is that it really does distract people from real problems.

Anyway, Paraguay is fun, if a little bit strange. We were staying on a ranch last week, owned by a nice german family who apparently emmigrated here at the end of world war 2. Everyone was speculating where the nazi gold was buried, and eventually we decided it was in the U-Boat that just had to be at the bottom of the river that runs through the place.

Electronics are cheap here. Everything is cheap here. There's certain amount of poverty (understatement of the year, perhaps) but it's a perfect example of the market flexing to fit demand. Because wages are low, goods are priced at a level that makes the affordable to as many people as possible.

It's a nice place, you should visit it some time. The best time is around august, which is the end of the paraguayan winter (for want of a better name) as everything is quite quiet, and the weather isn't unbearably hot, like summer, or unbearably wet, as it would have been last month. Normally... they're having a bit of a drought at the moment. Every 30 years or so they get a drought, and over a longer cycle they get a super-drought that goes through the winter, when it's supposed to be raining. They've had that this year. It's almost completely shut down the Iguazu falls so that only Garganta del Diablo is really flowing. Some people are blaming golbal warming, but the natives know better. Unfortunately they can't write websites (80% of the Guarani are illiterate), so the moonbats don't listen to them.

Posted by: Archonix (in paraguay) at August 25, 2006 8:55 PM

Because wages are low, goods are priced at a level that makes the affordable to as many people as possible.

Sounds like Wal-Mart. ;-)

Seriously, though, I'd like to travel in South America sometime... Chile and Paraguay especially. There's still parts of North America I haven't gotten to yet, though. Like Alaska and Nove Scotia.

Posted by: V the K at August 26, 2006 1:27 PM

Try Argentina as well. Their beef is the best I've ever tasted, and they do some good wines.

Posted by: Archonix (in paraguay) at August 26, 2006 1:46 PM

Bottom line: McCain eventually broke under torture.

In an earlier time, that would have disqualified him from ever being elected, much less being considered for the Presidency.

Posted by: wordwarp at August 29, 2006 2:01 AM

Is it just me or does Colmes look like some non-human freakazoid?

Posted by: Doug at August 29, 2006 7:35 AM

Doug, it's not just you.

Posted by: Van Helsing at August 29, 2006 9:10 AM