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June 20, 2006

Holy Trinity Found to Be Sexist

Like rust, moonbattery never sleeps, but continuously eats away at the pillars of our civilization. The corrosion is taking a heavy toll on Christianity, having progressed to such an extent that the Presbyterian Church's national assembly now regards the Trinity as sexist.

The phrase "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit" won't do, because allegedly it "has been used to support the idea that God is male and that men are superior to women." Suggested substitutes include:

  • Mother, Child, and Womb
  • Rock, Redeemer, and Friend
  • Lover, Beloved, and Love
  • Creator, Savior, and Sanctifier
  • King of Glory, Prince of Peace, and Spirit of Love

I don't know how they snuck that last one in. Shouldn't it be Queen of Glory?

Speaking of queens, the Presbyterian Church has decided to allow gay clergy. At this rate, it should only be a matter of months before Michael Newdow starts demanding atheist priests.

A sexist depiction of the Holy Trinity.

Posted by Van Helsing at June 20, 2006 9:19 PM


Please note, it's the PC(USA), not the more conservative PCA.

Posted by: Steve at June 21, 2006 3:33 AM

How about: Hare-brain, Dimwit and Village Idiot?

Of course Jesus Christ was a man. The fact that He chased after women of ill repute & easy virtue proves it. Besides, the Presbyterians should worry less about sexist and more about sexy: Temptation leads to sin, sin to repentance, repentance to redemption, and redemption o salvation. As any preacher worth His appearance fees will tell you, sex is the bread-and-butter of this business.

Posted by: The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah at June 21, 2006 4:05 AM

Why not Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine?

Posted by: V the K at June 21, 2006 8:32 AM

"Most religion consists of making people feel guilty for breathing, and then charging them for their oxygen." Anton LaVey

Rabbi Judah, are you a follower of "Bob?"


Posted by: phil at June 21, 2006 10:19 AM

Ah. More Christian bashing from the right.

Don't like Presbyterians? Then continue to sacrifice goats and howl at the moon at your weekly covens!

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at June 21, 2006 11:21 AM

Then continue to sacrifice goats and howl at the moon at your weekly covens!

Nah...your last birthday party gave me my fill of that, Junior! LOL!

Posted by: Jonathan L. at June 21, 2006 1:04 PM

--Little Jonny said (so cleverly):

Nah...your last birthday party gave me my fill of that, Junior! LOL!

--What'd I tell you. More Christian bashing from the right!

Posted by: Ronald Reagan at June 21, 2006 1:38 PM

Oh, yeah, making criticisms when left-liberals take over a religion and implement silly changes that counter centuries of tradition is Christian bashing. R-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g-h-t.

Psst, Junior, I heard a middle school teacher somewhere said "Bless you" when a kid sneezed. Get the ACLU to nail her ass at once!

Posted by: V the K at June 21, 2006 2:02 PM

Rock, Redeemer, and Friend?? WTF?

How about Rock, Scissors, and Paper?

Or Tinker, Evers, and Chance?

Or Sex, Drugs, and Rock'n'Roll?

Or veni, vidi, vici?

Posted by: Berkeley Bob at June 21, 2006 2:09 PM

Christian bashing from the right? Well it's been known to happen, but it generally takes the form of verbal criticism aimed at things like the interaction between religion and government. Rare these days too...

Funny how the left leaps to christianity's "defence" the minute people criticise some lefty agenda within its ranks. And, lets face it, this whole idea of a female spirit or god-head smacks more than a little of the paganism that Ronny Jnr mocks so readily. In fact, if I recall correctly, one of the epistles has a warning against the goddess cult of sophia, or "wisdom", replacing the godhead.

The godhead certainly isn't exist. It is the product of a patriarchal society, but the language surrounding descriptions of God are generally gender neutral, and often refer as much to so-called feminine qualities as masculine. God has no sexual characteristics, as far as we know. The very application of sexuality, or even an absence of sexuality relative to human sexuality to God lessens him by removing part of his divine nature. God is, simply, God, and cannot be placed in a box marked "something like man", or "sort of female". The only sexists here are these presbys arrogantly applying sexual characteristics to god.

Posted by: Archonix at June 21, 2006 2:17 PM

Archonix, you just flew over Junior's head at an altitude of about 60,000 feet.

Posted by: V the K at June 21, 2006 2:52 PM

Somewhat related, ACLU/High School Censor Valedictorian's Speech

Because her speech included references to her faith.

But, of course, there is no "War on Christianity." It's just a figment of the right-wing's imagination.

Posted by: V the K at June 21, 2006 6:23 PM