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May 13, 2006

Profiles in Countermoonbattery: Joe Arpaio

Posted by Dave Blount at May 13, 2006 8:46 AM

Hats off to Joe Arpaio, the ultimate anti-moonbat. The secret of Arpaio's success as Sheriff of Maricopa County (i.e., Greater Phoenix) is that he treats criminals like criminals, instead of showering them with privileges they do not deserve.

Lawbreakers foolish enough to make their way into Arpaio's custody do not have the "right" to smoke, ogle porno magazines, or have fun lifting weights and watching R-rated movies. Instead of loafing in their cells, masturbating and watching TV, they go out and work. So as to avoid being sued for discrimination, Arpaio even started the world's first female chain gang.

Appallingly, a federal court order requires that criminals have a "right" to cable TV in jail (how thoughtful of the Founding Fathers to include that provision in the Constitution). However, in Arpaio's jails, the only channels you'll see are Disney and the Weather Channel, and the latter can't be much solace when it's promising 120-degree heat to thugs on their way out to work in the sun.

But that's not the only entertainment for the inmates. Arpaio treats them to a Newt Gingrich lecture series. When asked if he were going to play lectures by a Democrat, he replied that a Democrat's lectures would explain why they were in jail in the first place.

When the inmates whined after he stopped serving coffee, Sheriff Joe replied:

This isn't the Ritz-Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back.

Others complain about his tent city jails. Joe's response:

It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!

Refreshingly, Arpaio also applies the "treat criminals like criminals" approach to the illegal aliens flooding across the Mexican border. He's put together an old-fashioned posse to patrol the desert southwest of Phoenix for invaders.

Despite Arizona Governor Janet "Nappy" Napolitano's use of her veto power to prevent any sort of effective defense from the Mexican invasion, Arpaio has found a way to arrest aliens. Smuggling is a felony: Arpaio charges them with smuggling themselves. Instead of turning the illegals over to the Border Patrol for a free ride back to Mexico so they can try again the next day, Arpaio gives them "a free ride into the county jail."

Arpaio's high-profile willingness to do something about the Mexican invasion, combined with the Minutemen's noble efforts, may actually force Bush to act responsibly and put the military on the border where it belongs.

Although moonbats don't like him much, Phoenix residents give Sheriff Joe an 85% approval rating.

Thank you Joe Arpaio, for keeping alive the spirit of the Old West that is such a treasured part of our culture.