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October 6, 2010

iOwnTheWorld Moonbat Roast

Posted by Dave Blount at October 6, 2010 4:49 PM

The highly recommended iOwnTheWorld collected political one-liners from its readers to use in a roast routine targeting moonbats. Yours truly had the honor of picking 20 winners from hundreds of submissions. The material will treat lefties to a foretaste of the fires of hell:

Althing: I heard Nancy Pelosi was recently brought into the hospital for horrendous pain in her urinary tract. When asked by the doctor why she refused any medical tests she replied, "I want to pass it before I see what it is."
Betula: I see Joe Biden is in the audience. I'd give him a plug, but that would be like giving Warren Buffett a dollar.
BigFurHat: Progressives recently got a big kick out of the latest poll that says that a high percentage of Tea Party members actually believe Obama is a Muslim… ya… in fact, when this was announced at the Truther convention it got a huge laugh.
Bilgeman: Is that Lisa Murkowski back there? How sore a loser is Lisa? She's banned from playing the lottery because she demands a refund on a losing ticket.
cfm990: I'm not saying Helen Thomas is old, but her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
Col. Angus: I see the senior Senator from Massachusetts is here. Yo, John, why the long face?
Czar of Defenestration: Wanna stop Islamic terrorism?! Tell each of the bastards that their first virgin is gonna be Christiane Amanpour!
Diogenes Sarcastica: And I see the new Senator Al Franken is here. Al went to see the doctor the other day and the doc said he had to stop masturbating. Al asked why? The doctor said, "I'm trying to exam you."
Doug: Barney walked into the garage to pick up his car. The mechanic said, "sounds like you got something loose in your rear end." "Oh gwacious," said Barney, "Kevin called and said he couldn't find his watch this morning."
FreeMan Rodney: I sent a donation to Rahm for Mayor of Chicago, he sent two thugs with baseball bats to my door telling me they think I am holding out on them.
ginger: They say Joe Biden is going to step down to let Hillary Clinton run on the ticket with Obama in 2012. I call that a last bitch effort.
Hanoverfist: With friends like progressives, who needs enemas?
Horrorman18: Rahm Emanuel becoming Mayor of Chicago is equivalent to Reverend Jim Jones running the refreshment stand at the church picnic.
Javelina Bomb: They say Rahm Emanuel can't run for mayor of Chicago because he doesn't have a permanent address there. Well, I know a gay massage parlor that would disagree with that.
Melody: Libs' motto: If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
moth: I'm not saying Pelosi is old, but she queefed and we had a dust advisory for a week and a half.
niteowl: MSNBC rented a room for all their remaining viewers. I don't want to say it was small, but it had a pay phone.
Nunya: Didya hear that KFC has the Hillary special? Two fat thighs, two small breasts, and a bucket of left wings.
Ron Dickles: Progressives are calling Whitman's maid the new Rosa Parks — which must mean she refused to sit in the back of the coyote's pick-up truck.
Slobyskya Rotchikokov: Sean Penn was watching a dog licking his privates, and said to his friend, "Wish I could do that!" Friend said, "Go ahead, the dog might like it."
Burn, moonbats, burn!