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November 25, 2009
Offsets! Get Your Free Carbon Offsets!
Posted by The MaryHunter at November 25, 2009 10:26 PM
Feeling blue about all that EPA-approved toxic CO2 you're exhaling? In a self-destructive funk about driving your SUV to the corner market for a six pack and a girlie mag? Fear no more! FreeCarbonOffsets.com is just for you!
Don't be fooled by imitations. This is your source for free, customizable carbon offset certificates. They have always been free, and always will be free. Get as many as you want, for free!
You may have seen other sites offering carbon offsets for $10, $20 or more a month. Well, with FreeCarbonOffsets.com, you can get carbon offsets absolutely free!
Or...
Testimonials galore:
THANK YOU FREE CARBON OFFSETS! To say my life has been altered by your free service, is like saying that humans are just a slight outbreak of plague on this planet. For a guy with irritable bowel syndrome, you can imagine my relief now that I can pass gas freely, as before I needed to pinch my checks constantly. (Not to mention that guilt free toliet paper usage has been a true god-send) -- Bill (God's Country)
Dear FCO Thank you so much for your wonderful carbon offsets. I was just about to buy a village in darkest Africa a herd of goats to lift them out of chronic institutionalised poverty but luckily stumbled upon your most worthy site. Now with my 1,000,000,000 carbon offsets I can sleep easy knowing I've done my bit for the earth and for those who have enough wealth to be concerned with global warming. -- Kog nat ivodissonans Ea (Earth)
Just follow the link, fill in the info, and bingo: save the planet. Guilt free for life. Best bonus: you help to put Al Gore in a particularly uncomfortable financial situation, and how.
On a generous - no, selfless - tip from Oiao.
Comments
well it happened my father once siad the government would someday tax are air!
what is to come? tax on our butts? oh i forgot it tax that long ago.
the system boys will soon have us all under control and once that is in place the next move is to place us all into a prison state! with no rights and no life but the one the state tells you to live!
some of us may think that is not a good idea but when, not if it happens, the system will control all ideals and all news and any who get out of line will just be disappeared.
Posted by: Fred Dawes at November 25, 2009 11:10 PM
Pope Algorius I isn't going to be pleased. His Holiness is insistent that Environmental Indulgences be sourced only from His air-conditioned mansion.
Fred Dawes,
what is to come? tax on our butts?
Taxing our patience.
Posted by: Conservigilant at November 26, 2009 4:19 AM
I've been sending these to my friends for over a year now. The first one I awarded to myself was for 878 Trillion carbon offsets.
Good thing they don't have an option for exponents! I'd corner the market.
Posted by: Smokey at November 26, 2009 4:41 AM
I know what I'm giving all my friends for Christmas!!!
Posted by: FreeWillie at November 26, 2009 6:59 AM
Here in THE STATE OF JEFFERSON formerly part of KALIFORNIA were growing fed up with the idiots in KALIFORNIA we dont want carbon certificates their like FRUITCAKE
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at November 26, 2009 8:42 AM
(this elegant Celtic theme (for the folks in Rio Vista, that's Irish-Scottish-ish)
Actually, it's "for the folks in Rio Linda" ... :)
Posted by: Title of Liberty at November 26, 2009 11:07 AM
Bummer, you can only get up to 100 Quintillion.
Posted by: Stephana at November 26, 2009 12:14 PM
@ Stephana at November 26, 2009 12:14 PM
SSSHHHHHHHHHHH don't mention a number like that in public.
Please don't anyone explain what comes after a Trillion to this Democratic Congress or Administration. They will see it as a deficit goal, and chase it like a dog in heat (not a reference to Nancy PolPotLucy, but could be)
Posted by: Oiao at November 26, 2009 12:58 PM
This is wonderful. I gave them out as Christmas gifts to all my family and friends. I got 3,275,186,526 for myself as well.
Posted by: Rick Schroeder at November 27, 2009 4:12 PM
