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September 7, 2009

Moonbat Tech: Toilet Turbines

It doesn't matter that our rulers severely restrict oil drilling and won't allow new refineries or nuclear plants to be built, or even that Comrade Obama promised he would put the coal industry out of business. New means have been devised to generate the electricity we need to keep civilization from collapsing — like toilet turbines:

What if every time that you flushed your toilet you could generate just a little bit of power? That is the idea behind the Benkatine Turbine by Leviathan Energy, which aims to get power from any pipe that water rushes through. …
There is nothing really new here, after all, rushing water is the basis of all hydroelectric power. It is the location and scale of this system (ie. in your toilet!) that makes it such an innovative product.

As for the electricity required to pump the water to move the turbines, that can be provided by pixie dust.

On a tip from Air2air.

Posted by Van Helsing at September 7, 2009 11:08 AM

Comments

Now if we all could only shit Magic Unicorn Bullshit like Obama does......

Posted by: Doug at September 7, 2009 11:31 AM

The 4th law of thermodynamics: Liberals are incapable of understanding the 2nd law of thermodynamics.

Posted by: mega at September 7, 2009 11:36 AM

As for the electricity required to pump the water to move the turbines, that can be provided by pixie dust.
I just about fell out of my chair. I can certainly count on you, VH, to provide a good laugh, each and every day.

Posted by: AmericanToTheCore at September 7, 2009 11:42 AM

alas, we have no "green czar" to implement this! this idea seems to argue FOR high-flo toilets, but then again when you have to flush 3x more to dispose of refuse that would create 3x more "clean energy". i thought our moonbat elites advocated crapping in the woods or in an outhouse or something.

Posted by: weewilly at September 7, 2009 12:11 PM

moonbat elites want us to crap in our backyard & build our houses out of the shit

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 1:02 PM

"moonbat elites want us to crap in our backyard & build our houses out of the shit

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 1:02 PM"


so we need a "brown" czar??????

Posted by: eat me at September 7, 2009 1:03 PM

as an aside, you ever notice how the bats always accuse us of regressing to the "dark ages", yet the bulk of their "ideas" have a flinstonian aura about them?

Posted by: weewilly at September 7, 2009 1:07 PM

You beat me to the "brown czar" line!

But what is it with lefties and toilets, anyway? They seem obsessed with the notion of adapting toilets to perform other functions.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 7, 2009 1:16 PM

Give them a break--the pumping side was going to happen anyway.

The fun part comes when there is lots of energy generated during half-time, when nobody is watching.

And what happens to the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" folks.

Posted by: Larry Sheldon at September 7, 2009 1:18 PM

But what is it with lefties and toilets, anyway?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 7, 2009 1:16 PM

i'm a little rusty on my psychology, but i think it was freud who theorized about "stages of development" that infants go through, and the "anal" stage when the associate pleasure with bowel movements and whatnot was one of the first "pleasures" one learns about; anyways, i figure they never matured beyond this stage, it's always "potty" time to the lib mind.

Posted by: weewilly at September 7, 2009 1:19 PM

I'm not sure they associate pleasure with the bowel movement as much as with fingerpainting their opinions with the result.

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 7, 2009 1:35 PM

Hmmmm...

I see a toilet hovercraft down the road - power yourself to work with your morning dump.

Posted by: Jimbo at September 7, 2009 1:50 PM

I'm not sure they associate pleasure with the bowel movement as much as with fingerpainting their opinions with the result.
Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 7, 2009 1:35 PM

after my initial post i bothered to "research" freud's theory and this "phase" is linked to "potty training" not so much pleasure, in other words i was "correct" without being "accurate", they have "potty" issues it seems :P

Posted by: weewilly at September 7, 2009 1:51 PM

"The 4th law of thermodynamics: Liberals are incapable of understanding the 2nd law of thermodynamics."
Brilliant mega. A quotable quote. I'll substitute 'greenie' for 'liberal' when the need arises.

Posted by: Jim at September 7, 2009 1:53 PM

Proposal to ban smelly people from buses causes a stink

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/6149070/Proposal-to-ban-smelly-people-from-buses-causes-a-stink.html

Posted by: J at September 7, 2009 1:54 PM

And just WHO is going to clean out the $#!+-clogged turbines?

I had to think about this and I've concluded that the most efficent "toilet turbines" would be placed in bathrooms that were AT LEAST the third floor so as to alow maximum flow velosity before the "stuff" hits the turbine blades. That means that a toilet on the first floor would have to have a thirty foot pit dug under it, costing more and using more energy durring construction, not to mention the problem that most sewer lines and septic tanks are not half that deep.

In other news, British Petrolium has discovered ANOTHER large deposit of oil in the Gulf Of Mexico off the Texas coast. Add that to the large natural gas deposit off Florida and the OTHER oil deposits in the Gulf that the Liberals and their political lap dogs will not alow us to retrieve.

Posted by: KHarn at September 7, 2009 2:11 PM

Thanks to you nutjobs, perfectly good ideas like this will never see the light of day. Must give you a lot of satisfaction to bring down the most capable and creative.

Your oppression and stifling of the best American traditions of innovation really gets you through the day. One wonders how the telephone or automobile were invented with Republicans around. After all, those machines could have been used by people in the country illegally. Or helped to provide people with healthcare services.

Bringing down Van Jones will probably embolden you to broaden your attack across the rest of the warming planet. You've successfully eliminated all the jobs he would have created to organize sustainable communities across the post-American globe. With all the green technologies Van Jones stood behind, he might have been the next Thomas Edison. The toilet turbine was set to be just one of many innovations that could have helped save the planet, but that just wasn't good enough for Glenn Beck.

Probably none of these genius devices will power thousands of homes now. Hope you're happy. Now thanks to you we can continue to enrich Big Oil. I guess that's your definition of success, isn't it?

In 10 years when Earth is finally destroyed I pray that those of you who laughed at toilet turbines will get cancer from your beloved nuclear power. And you won't be able to afford healthcare for it.

We at Kos will at least be able to archive your nutcase blogs to study the long-extinct Republican whackjob. At least our dogs will have some nice bones to chew on...

Posted by: Air2air at September 7, 2009 3:37 PM

air, that was "almost" a spot-on "meh" et al(as otto would say the are "interchangeable"), a little more vitriol is called for though, i didn't see the words "knuckle-dragger", "troglydite", "mouth-breather", etc.. otherwise perfect amount of self-righteousness and "smarter-than-thou".

Posted by: weewilly at September 7, 2009 3:55 PM

"One wonders how the telephone or automobile were invented with Republicans around." said Air2air


simple, the telephone & automobile are not powered by shit

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 4:10 PM

9/11 happened on Republican watch.

Posted by: jon at September 7, 2009 4:14 PM

Blue I gotta hand you the "best retort of the month" award

Posted by: Air2air at September 7, 2009 4:27 PM

Its articles like this that make me remiss to even mention to people that I have my fist undergrad in Mechanical Engineering.

Can someone explain 'Ching Pow' to the asshole who is peddling this..........................?

Posted by: Oiao at September 7, 2009 4:35 PM

half a bottle of jack Daniels on a Monday afternoon does wonders for your thinking process

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 4:53 PM

half a bottle of jack Daniels on a Monday afternoon does wonders for your thinking process

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 4:53 PM

Uhmmm... :-) If you could scream loud enough - I'd hear ya! Have you been banished to the basement?

Posted by: Jimbo at September 7, 2009 5:12 PM

Posted by: jon at September 7, 2009 4:14 PM

"9/11 happened on Republican watch"

Ok Mr. Gump, I'll bite.

What is your point?

Posted by: Dave at September 7, 2009 5:25 PM

Jimbo - Mrs Blue be off visiting the grandbabies so I get to stay upstairs tonight.
Me & the usual gang of idiots spent another day at Club Baby Seal watching the tourist women in their bikinis.

but with the complaints that we use this as a chat room I be quiet for the rest of the day........

Posted by: blue at September 7, 2009 5:41 PM

Well, we can figure out how many green jobs Van "Assholes" Jones would have created, by doing some simple math.

To determine how many total green jobs VJ would've created during the 4 year (48 month) Obama term, let's multiply the number of jobs VJ created during his 8 month tenure by 6. I.e. 8 x 6 = 48. Here goes.

0 green jobs created 1/20/09 through 9/6/09 x 6 = 0

Posted by: mega at September 7, 2009 5:51 PM

I'm watching 'Whale Wars' on the Animal Planet channel. This has to be the funniest show I've ever watched.

It should be renamed Leftist Eunuchs!

Posted by: BBALL at September 7, 2009 5:57 PM

Hey air to air. When we are all gone don't forget to plant all those seeds we stored at the pole. If you want, you can use my rototiller, or hoe if you are really green. You will find it behind the 10 cases of incandecent light bulbs I horded which will be next to my generator.

Posted by: Dan at September 7, 2009 5:58 PM

I don't think the giant brains behind this will use pressurised pipes to turn these turbines, I think we're talking waste pipes here. That presents a whole new crop of problems, as anyone who has ever snaked a drain knows. Any little inperfection in the pipe is the place everything nasty collects to start the clog. How will these (probably couple of hundred dollar) turbines hold up to Roto Rooter?
Oh, and by the way. Bush isn't President anymore and Van Jones is no longer a czar. WTF?

Posted by: Rick Schroeder at September 7, 2009 5:59 PM

Happy shoot a labor leader day........ Oops, I meant Labor Day.

Posted by: Oiao at September 7, 2009 6:04 PM

I am wondering why more use is not made of the thermoelectric effect to generate a little more current to charge an automobile's battery. It would make a little more sense than these scatological perpetual motion schemes.

Posted by: James McEnanly at September 7, 2009 6:30 PM

Also, since greenie libs believe that the use of any water is forever and ever gone, drained into outer space from a hole at the South Pole, I propose that they commit to not drinking a drop of water or anything made of water for the next 30 days. Take one for the team!

Posted by: Karin at September 8, 2009 5:44 AM

What happens when poo jams the turbine blades?

Posted by: Anonymous at September 8, 2009 6:40 AM

Posted by: Air2air at September 7, 2009 3:37 PM

weewilly said it first - that's a spot-on MEH imitation. I particularly liked this line:

"One wonders how the telephone or automobile were invented with Republicans around"

Yep.......makes me think of the invention of the airplane for some reason. The government funneled money to a lot of the top scientists of the day (Samuel Langley, et al), but it was finally a couple of highly motivated and self-funded bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio that got it done.

Chalk one up for American know how and entrepenuership.

Posted by: TonyD95B at September 9, 2009 11:59 AM

"entrepreneurship".....and it was private industry that invented Spell-Check, too........

Posted by: TonyD95B at September 9, 2009 12:05 PM

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