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May 11, 2009
Carbon-Free Sugar
Carbon — which moonbats have decided is some kind of toxin — is the physical basis of all known life. Pretty much everything we eat is carbon-based, with the exception of salt — and now carbon-free sugar. Via Glenn Beck:
Domino's sugar is now offering certified carbon-free sugar. Now for all you tree huggers, this is a moment when the sunburst through the clouds and angels sing because your movement is now moving ahead with so much steam that there are sure to be supermarkets with only hemp burgers and recyclable diapers — thanks, Canada — on the bamboo shelves at any moment. But as we look closer and really think of carbon-free sugar, I'm pretty sure it's impossible. "But this is certified." Yes, I know. I'm pretty sure it's impossible. Why? Well, I seem to recall, I didn't really listen in high school chemistry but when we had to stare at that damn periodic table of elements, didn't we all learn that C stood for carbon. Carbon is an element! You can't ban elements! But C was carbon. Carbon makes up a lot of things. Carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide. Us, you're a carbon-based life form. Oh, how about this one: Carbohydrate. What do you think the carbo stands for? Sugar. Sucrose is a common table sugar. It has the chemical formula of C12H22O11. I don't want to get too scientific here but after all, we're putting science in her rightful place. C12 means carbon, 12 molecules of carbon. H2211, 11 molecules of water. It's H2O times 11. So when you have carbon and water, you get carbo-hydrates, hydrates, like hydropower. Water… carbo… hydrates. So if you have no carbon in sugar, you have… hydrates. Drink a glass of water and pour that on your frickin' cake! Wow, imagine how good those hemp cookies and flaxseed frosting will taste with the new environmentally friendly green certified carbon-free sugar water that has no sugar in it!
Here's how Domino justifies pretending that their sugar has no carbon in it:
The Domino CarbonFree® Sugar line, currently available in Florida and Georgia, has been certified as resulting in net-zero carbon emissions by Carbonfund.org, a non-profit that assists companies in achieving carbon-neutrality for their products. (CarbonFree is Carbonfund.org's registered trademark.)
The certification process began with a life-cycle assessment by the Edinburgh Center for Carbon Management. Each product's entire carbon footprint was determined based on an analysis spanning the sugar cane's planting and growing, harvesting, milling, processing and packaging, all the way to delivery to stores. The carbon footprints were then displaced by the company's own production of clean, renewable energy.
The line of white, refined granulated sugar is grown, processed and packaged in the company's South Florida-based renewable energy facility, which uses sugar cane fiber and recycled urban wood waste to produce the clean energy. (The facility also provides electricity for about 60,000 homes on the Florida grid.)
So, they generate electricity by burning garbage, and this makes their sugar be carbon-free. Environmoonbattery works by magical means.
On tips from The MaryHunter and Brian C.
Posted by Van Helsing at May 11, 2009 7:18 AM
Comments
but with Obama being so sweet, we don't need any sugar
Posted by: gay boy in bndage at May 11, 2009 8:03 AM
We diabetics can't eat sugar anyway.
Posted by: Nunya at May 11, 2009 8:21 AM
Can they ever really kill capitalism, with so much marketing muscle and genius abound? This is all BS, of course, but man it'll sell to the moonbats!
That's fine, I have no problem with anyone making a buck.
Posted by: Karin at May 11, 2009 8:30 AM
12 carbon atoms
22 Hydrogen atoms
11 Oxygen atoms
Oh yes, Carbon free footprint.
At least this matches the logic of global warming/change.
Posted by: Viking04 at May 11, 2009 9:16 AM
How do they achieve zero net carbon emissions while burning garbage? Where do the by-products of combustion go?
Posted by: Judith M. at May 11, 2009 9:21 AM
Just what is carbon free sugar anyway More rediclous GO GREEN ideas from stupid granola munching tree hugging jerks
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at May 11, 2009 11:39 AM
Does it cost more and do I have to walk to the megaplexstore to get it? Does Kroger transport it by mule cart? I have a headache.
Posted by: czuch at May 11, 2009 12:08 PM
Karin, thanks for posting the composition of sugar - that was my first thought. Do the moonbatties realize when we eat the sugar we will breath out the carbon? Next we will receive training in holding our breath!
Posted by: bigjoe1970 at May 11, 2009 12:38 PM
most of the peopl i know who worship at the alter of green would NEVER!!!!! eat white sugar. this is so funny because it's bleached and not natural, and bad for you... this is a wild contradiction. it would be like having "green" high fructose corn syrup... lol rolflmao!
Posted by: Anonymous at May 11, 2009 3:48 PM
now that they're allowed to visit ... maybe all the moonbats can line up and visit Cuba (permanently), volunteering to work in the cane fields, live in walking distance. Moonbats!! - just think how much carbon you'll save ... and you'll never have to drive to work again!
PS in the winter you can try some of that new sugar cane yarn I saw advertised recently (webs yarn), and make yourself a sweater (by hand of course). Think of how cute that would look with your new recycled hemp skirt and recycled tire sandles!
Posted by: Ex-bat at May 11, 2009 4:14 PM
Carbon Free Sugar = water
Posted by: Darwin2 at May 12, 2009 10:00 AM
