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March 11, 2009
Why Obama Is Nothing Like a Chimp
Moonbats compared GWB to a chimp at every opportunity, but it would be unfair to do the same with Chairman Zero, despite his resemblance to Curious George — unfair to chimpanzees, that is. Consider Santino the chimp, who every morning collects rocks inside his enclosure at a Swedish zoo. Around midday, he commences to hurl them at the humans gathered outside. I Hate the Media contrasts him with Obama:
Unlike President Obama, the chimp developed a clear plan and followed it.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp knows he must save his assets and not throw them away all at once.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp believes in stockpiling weapons to use against his enemies.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp is dedicated to defending his homeland.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp didn't announce that he wanted to negotiate with any of the "moderate" humans who hold him captive.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp hasn't announced that he will stop throwing rocks in 19 months.
And finally, unlike President Obama, the chimp didn't demand that the rich gorillas in the next cage share their rocks with him.
To sum up:
I knew Santino the chimp. Santino the chimp was a friend of mine. Mr. President, you're no Santino the chimp.
On a tip from Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at March 11, 2009 8:50 AM
Comments
Hilarious. nothing else to say.
AC
Posted by: AC at March 11, 2009 9:07 AM
LMBFTO!
that ain't no way to diss a chimp!
Posted by: nancz at March 11, 2009 9:13 AM
96% of Obama's DNA is shared with a chimp. The remaining 4% comes from his white mother.
Posted by: BelchSpeak at March 11, 2009 9:37 AM
As long as the Chimp doesn't accuse you of a hate crime.
Posted by: SnowSnake at March 11, 2009 9:42 AM
IHateTheMedia.com thanks you for running our story about Santino the chimp, but we'd like to clarify one thing. We'd never want the racemongers saying we "compared" our president to a chimp. Heaven forbid. We actually "contrasted" him with a chimp.
Posted by: IHateTheMedia.com at March 11, 2009 11:01 AM
We got the intent of your story, IHateTheMedia.com. Trolls will always be trolls and will use it how they see fit. Thanks for the great article!
Posted by: Anonymous at March 11, 2009 12:10 PM
The chimp has the right idea im also tired of our dictators rule
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 11, 2009 1:20 PM
LOL!
Posted by: Adam at March 11, 2009 5:02 PM
however, his ears are just like obama
Posted by: BAM at March 11, 2009 7:08 PM
The chimp does not stutter, um, uhh, ouh, um, aaah, mmmmmmm, youknow.
Posted by: Oiao at March 11, 2009 7:39 PM
You forgot this. The chimp needs no teleprompter to communicate!
Posted by: Doug Hagin at March 11, 2009 7:51 PM
IHateTheMedia.com, my apologies. Hopefully Al Sharpton didn't see this before I made the change from "compares" to "contrasts."
Posted by: Van Helsing at March 11, 2009 9:44 PM
NO ONE EVER ACCUSED SANDINO OF BEING A MISERABLE FAILURE AND KENYAN.
Posted by: tHOMAS jACKSON at March 11, 2009 10:36 PM
Santino wouldn't happen to be sharing his enclosure with a large, black Monolith, by any chance?
Posted by: James McEnanly at March 12, 2009 7:49 PM
