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March 26, 2009

Bureaucrats Crack Down on Incorrect Car Colors

The lust for control over every last aspect of our existence has driven environmentalist bureaucrats insane. In California, they are now dictating car colors.

In a move that will likely get California's consumers in a huff, impending legislation may soon restrict the paint color options for Golden State residents looking for their next new vehicle. The specific colors that are currently on the chopping block are all dark hues, with the worst offender seemingly the most innocuous color you could think of: Black.

The justification is that black cars get hotter inside when they've been sitting in the sun, so the AC has to work harder, thus imperiling the polar bears.

Next, black clothing will be banned, as it might make people sweat more, causing them to drink more, exacerbating the devastating droughts foretold by The Goracle.

There is literally nothing liberals don't feel compelled to control.

On a tip from J. Hat tip: theblogprof.

Posted by Van Helsing at March 26, 2009 8:31 AM


assassinations need to start occurring.

Posted by: furballz at March 26, 2009 9:03 AM

Some local Mennonite Communities will only drive plain black cars.

Posted by: forest at March 26, 2009 9:18 AM

That’s it! Can’t take anymore of this!
Can anyone check? Can we vote California out of the Union?

Posted by: Franklin's Locke at March 26, 2009 9:26 AM

Unbelievable. Pretty soon they'll be setting up state border guards to block the darker cars from getting in and driving around the state, but never mind that southern border to Mexico.....

Posted by: Jonathan at March 26, 2009 9:36 AM

Big Nanny legislating away more freedoms.

This is too simple for the simpletons running CA:

Roll the windows down for the first few blocks before turning on the AC. If your AC has a re-circulation option, don't turn it on until the hot air has emptied from the vehicle.

Posted by: Henry at March 26, 2009 9:43 AM

You know, I just thought of something...

What color is Chairman 0's up-armored Cadillac SUV?

It's get pretty damn hot and muggy during DC summers.

Posted by: Henry at March 26, 2009 10:08 AM

How about this. Wouldn't black skinned people need more air conditioning to keep cool? How about we eliminate them too....

Henry Ford said it best, you can have your car any color you want, as long as you want black.

Posted by: Eric at March 26, 2009 10:20 AM

worst offender seemingly the most innocuous color you could think of: Black.

Racist! /g

Pity us poor pro-American Californians; we're stuck with these clowns, imposed on us by the liberals that now infest our beloved state.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 26, 2009 10:23 AM

Jay, get out of there before Mexico takes it back and the liberals hand it over willingly.

Posted by: cowlove at March 26, 2009 10:36 AM

Cowlove, I keep hoping that liberal locusts will move to another Utopia and give us back our state. Vermont would suit me just fine; nice and far away.

I don't have a problem with Mexicans. Hard-working, family-oriented, most of 'em keep their noses clean and just want to build better lives. I'd trade liberals for Mexicans any day.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at March 26, 2009 10:59 AM

Leave it to the burcreeps living in their ivory towers here in KALIFORNIA to now dictate what color your car is TYPICAL BURICRATS JUST LOOK UP THE WEB SITE FOR DUMB LAWS and get a look at some real doozies

Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at March 26, 2009 11:21 AM

I agree black clothing should be banned! It makes you all hot and then you pant out all this co2! All Mexican cuisine involving beans should also be banned due to methane from flatulence!

Posted by: jan in queens at March 26, 2009 11:53 AM

But what if the black paint is made out of a hemp-based chemical?

Posted by: dpt at March 26, 2009 11:58 AM

What about Black People?

Posted by: Wayne Green at March 26, 2009 12:03 PM

Eric and Wayne beat me to it. Those Cal. A/C's are warming the entire planet, so we need a global solution. Kill all the dark-skinned people worldwide, or ban them to live underground out of the sunlight. Wasn't it a Rutgers professor that said political correctness is the AIDS of the mind?

Posted by: Sage at March 26, 2009 12:43 PM

What about hearses? Do they have to be hot pink or something? There are a lot of good conservative people in CA. Why can't they get the traction needed to knock some sense into this state? They booted Gray, can't they boot these moonbats?

Posted by: Karin at March 26, 2009 12:49 PM

I don't have a problem with Mexicans. Hard-working, family-oriented, most of 'em keep their noses clean and just want to build better lives. I'd trade liberals for Mexicans any day.

I second that. those clowns with Laraza and other radical immigration hustlers are just front groups put up by white liberal funders. Scum like Soros.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 26, 2009 1:01 PM

I'm surprised at this half measure...why not just ban air conditioning altogether, both in cars and in buildings? Isn't Gaia worth it?

If that happens, start buying stock in deodorant manufacturers...

Posted by: Pam at March 26, 2009 1:05 PM

We kept trying to warn them; Liberalism (Communism) is all about control and power

Posted by: KHarn at March 26, 2009 2:12 PM

What about asphalt? Asphalt is black and radiates heat like you wouldn't believe. Come on California! Get on the stick! Ban asphalt too!

Posted by: Kevin R at March 26, 2009 2:20 PM

Nobody addressed the number of black police vehicles out there. Most of the PD units are black and white, and the detectives' cars are all black. Are they going to get an exemption from the CARB regs?

Posted by: Smokey Behr at March 26, 2009 4:26 PM

One of my dreams growing up has been to own a shiny black four-door sports sedan, and NO bureaucrat is going to take that away from me!


Posted by: AC at March 26, 2009 5:11 PM

Where's Al and Jesse?
Shouldn't they be screaming "racism" about this?
I mean, after all, some lunatics are calling black holes "racist."
Why not this?

Posted by: ToddonCapeCod at March 26, 2009 6:33 PM

"why not just ban air conditioning altogether, both in cars and in buildings? Isn't Gaia worth it?"

Good point. We can start by banning it in all government buildings especially those in Washington, DC and Sacramento, CA. Boy, that would make working in buildings in those cities fun fun fun in the summer.

Posted by: dpt at March 26, 2009 7:40 PM

If the burweenies ban black clothing what will zorro wear?

Posted by: Flu-Bird at March 26, 2009 8:04 PM

AMEN! Furballz

Posted by: UnoHoo at March 27, 2009 4:32 PM

The only black thing that needs to be banned is quatting in the White House.

Posted by: AndyPandy at March 28, 2009 12:35 PM

Surely, there will be exceptions for movie stars, plaintiffs attorneys, union officials, Pelosi, mobsters and other really important people?

Posted by: MartyE at March 28, 2009 3:37 PM

Looks like the Commiefornia bureaucrats aren't as crazy as some folks give them credit for...

"To be completely fair, the California Air Resources Board never intended to ban black paint -- or any color of paint, for that matter. When devising ways to implement the Cool Cars Initiative, CARB couldn't find any dark paints that passed the 20% solar reflectivity test, which others took to mean that CARB would be banning them. Not so, says a CARB spokesman: "We are by no means interested in banning or restricting car colors.""

Posted by: Fred at March 29, 2009 12:51 PM