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March 31, 2009
Big Brother Helps Us Cope With His Mess
It can't be easy for government to blow through the $trillions it has been looting not only from us, but from the next two generations. Yet the vast and ever metastasizing bureaucracy has an apparently infinite ability to waste. One example is the United States Department of Health and Human Services, which has spawned a sub-bureaucracy calling itself the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration. This particular nest of useless taxpayer-funded drones has "invested" our money in producing the SAMHSA Guide to Getting Through Tough Economic Times — tough times that have been produced ironically enough by this same bloated government meddling where it has no business. This must be on the level, because it is beyond parody:
Possible Health Risks
Economic turmoil (e.g., increased unemployment, foreclosures, loss of investments and other financial distress) can result in a whole host of negative health effects — both physical and mental. It can be particularly devastating to your emotional and mental well-being. Although each of us is affected differently by economic troubles, these problems can add tremendous stress, which in turn can substantially increase the risk for developing such problems as:
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Compulsive Behaviors (over-eating, excessive gambling, spending, etc.)
• Substance Abuse
Warning Signs
It is important to be aware of signs that financial problems may be adversely affecting your emotional or mental well being — or that of someone you care about. These signs include:
• Persistent Sadness/Crying
• Excessive Anxiety
• Lack of Sleep/Constant Fatigue
• Excessive Irritability/Anger
• Increased drinking
• Illicit drug use, including misuse of medications
• Difficulty paying attention or staying focused
• Apathy — not caring about things that are usually important to you
• Not being able to function as well at work, school or home
Persistent sadness can also be a result of realizing that your country has been turned over to a Marxist community activist who is systematically destroying it. But to continue…
Managing Stress
If you or someone you care about is experiencing these symptoms, you are not alone. These are common reactions to stress, and there are coping techniques that you can use to help manage it. They include:
• Trying to keep things in perspective — recognize the good aspects of life and retain hope for the future.
• Strengthening connections with family and friends who can provide important emotional support.
• Engaging in activities such as physical exercise, sports or hobbies that can relieve stress and anxiety.
• Developing new employment skills that can provide a practical and highly effective means of coping and directly address financial difficulties.
Getting Help
Even with these coping techniques, however, sometimes these problems can seem overwhelming and you may need additional help to get through "rough patches." Fortunately, there are many people and services that can provide help. These include your:
• Healthcare provider
• Spiritual leader
• School counselor
• Community health clinic
First we'll steal your money. Then we'll wreck the economy with insane regulations, such as dictating that mortgage loans be made based on race. When this ruins your life, we'll provide you with instructions for finding a hanky to weep into. Isn't the liberal State benevolent?
A conservative guide to getting through tough economic times would take up less space:
1. Cut taxes and reduce the size and scope of government.
2. Repeat as necessary until the economy booms as it did under Reagan.
On tips from mega and J.
Posted by Van Helsing at March 31, 2009 8:03 AM
Comments
I wept bitter, copious tears on election night and some nights thereafter. Can I get help for that? And no, Nanny, I won't put down the nice cold beer. Mind your own F'in business. Also, I won't rid myself of excess anger. I'm going to need that. Don't worry about the apathy part, I've got plenty of passion for those things I find important.
Posted by: Karin at March 31, 2009 8:46 AM
That list of warning signs looks like a cover letter for pres. usurpers resume.
Posted by: Eric at March 31, 2009 10:18 AM
You forgot a step in the conservative guide.
1. Cut taxes and reduce the size and scope of Government.
2. Thank God you live in a free and honest society.
3. Repeat.
Posted by: Eric at March 31, 2009 10:22 AM
Conservative guide for dealing with tough times:
MAN UP! DEAL WITH IT!
Posted by: single stack at March 31, 2009 11:50 AM
BIG BROTHER IS WTACHING YOU 24/7
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at March 31, 2009 1:06 PM
Personally, I'm keeping an eye out for the "DEPRESSION" part!
Posted by: KHarn at March 31, 2009 1:54 PM
In England, where the Econuts say the population must be cut in half as soon as possible, a Suicide Guide is being written for publication this summer. The Suicide for Humanity Administration Manual (S.H.A.M.) comes complete with a pull-out Last Will essay section.
The ultimate "do it yourself" book.
Cheerio!
Posted by: Stymie at March 31, 2009 8:22 PM
Why is "Spiritual Leader" listed as a Help Resource?!
I'm OFFENDED!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Evil Monk at March 31, 2009 10:00 PM
This ties in rather nicely with the Marxist idea of marginalizing, undermining and ultimately destroying the religious and spiritual faith of a people by attacking religion as an "opiate for the masses".
To effect a change to Marxism, it is necessary to create a vacuum so the high priests' of this mindset can inject this mind-numbing b******t into the spiritually deadened shell of the individual. The overall objective being to create a psychological/spiritual dependency on a faceless, omnipotent bureaucracy. The effect further being that the "State" loves you, cares for you, do not resist.
Need a shoulder to cry on?
Big Brother is here.
Posted by: ChicagoBlood at April 1, 2009 7:28 AM
