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February 27, 2009
Enivonazis Continue to Campaign Against Toilet Paper
Cheryl Croak's demand that we use only one square at a time was not the last word in the enviromoonbat campaign against toilet paper. From The Guardian, the Bible of Britain's liberal elite:
The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.
Here I was thinking that once we succumbed to socialism, Euroweenies would stop their envious sniping, with all the world united in love for our ethnically correct Community Organizer in Chief.
Chides environazi Allen Hershkowitz of the Natural Resources Defence Council:
I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenom. People just don't understand that softness equals ecological destruction.
Enlightened Europeans, on the other hand, mop up their messy derrières with recycled sandpaper, thus contributing to the planet's salvation.
As moonbattery merges with Islam, this obsession with making us feel guilty about wiping our behinds will take the next logical step. The reason Religion-of-Peaceniks will only touch a Koran with their right hand is that the left is traditionally reserved for… other purposes. Charmin is in short supply out on the sands of Arabia.
On a tip from mega. Hat tip: BelchSpeak.
Posted by Van Helsing at February 27, 2009 7:31 AM
Comments
The caption: ROFL!
Posted by: Henry at February 27, 2009 7:54 AM
liberals have no idea where most paper comes from. It is grown on farms just like any other crops. If Newspapers want to conserve trees, don't print for a week. I read that the New York times use over 70,000 trees just to print the Sunday edition.
One other thing, I hate the term "McMansions".
Posted by: shunha7878 at February 27, 2009 7:55 AM
Makes you pick your restaurants very carefully!
Posted by: Shooter1001 at February 27, 2009 8:18 AM
If Eric Clapton's nickname is "Slowhand," is Sheryl Crow's nickname "Brownhand?"
Posted by: Graycat at February 27, 2009 8:21 AM
Liberals love to be extra close to their crap, don;t they? They wanna impose flush taxes, keep crap as compost, and now ban toilet paper. No wonder they stink.
Posted by: Atomic Lib Smasher at February 27, 2009 8:56 AM
The editorial staff at The Guardian apparently do not realize the underlying irony of a paper-hogging publication complaining about environmentalism linked to paper manufacturing. One wonders just how much lower their collective IQ will drop.
Posted by: SamHermanMD at February 27, 2009 8:58 AM
what is it with socialists and toilet paper (this is so freudian)... from long lines for toilet paper being shown as the reason not to have it, and then toilet paper is the reason to have it.
Posted by: Artfldgr at February 27, 2009 9:57 AM
Van Helsing, you a hilarious...thank you for yet another uplift, lol
Posted by: Anonymous at February 27, 2009 10:09 AM
I think they will soon limit the number of dollar bills you can wipe yourself with. At some point, dollar bills will be worth less than the toilet paper they can buy. Maybe, we will have a new economy based on toilet paper: a gallon of milk is 3 TP. A gallon of gas 6 TP. And the exchange rate will be listed on the Stock Exchange along with the Yen and Euro: $42/TP
Posted by: SnowSnake at February 27, 2009 10:22 AM
LIBERAL TROLLS?
Don't you have any hate to spew at us about this? Or are you afraid to admit how stooopid some of your fellow liberals act?
Go on and admit it; you love having toilet paper as much as having computers, iPods, cars and other "excesses" of EEEVIL American wealth.
Posted by: KHarn at February 27, 2009 2:34 PM
So Europeans sandpaper their hemorrhoids away? That's an interesting but painful approach.
Posted by: IOpian at February 27, 2009 2:36 PM
Too CHERYLE OLD CROW from SPURWING PLOVER Listen up you blabbering old chicken twiffer i think your consert at that stupid LIVE EARTH CONCERTS were signs your clean outta your mind and a sign of your hypocracy i mean all those kilowatt hours of electricity burned up so a bunch of you and your eco-freak freinds can sit up on a stage and catterwal some mindless songs while sining off your paper sheets with funny little markings on them while plunking your wooded guitar DONT PULL THIS HOLIER THEN THOUH STUFF ON THIS OLD SHOREBIRD IVE GOT A ATATTUDE SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at February 27, 2009 2:48 PM
Let's bring back corn shucks! I just love progress!
Posted by: Hana Bobanna at February 27, 2009 4:41 PM
Here you have a nearly perfectly environmentally friendly product. It is rapidly biodegradable, and is made from a renewable resource. The pulp for the tissue is a by-product of other manufacturing processes.
I am convinced the the true test of what these eco-moonbats deems acceptable is not lack of ecological impact, but human discomfort. They would prefer a world that looks like Soylent Green, provided that they get to be the guys in the turtlenecks.
Posted by: James McEnanly at February 27, 2009 7:46 PM
No wonder these retards don't mind the smell of patoulli oil. How long before they're running around naked in the streets, crapping wherever they see fit? Another reason I'm pro abortion. Get on board, people.
Posted by: Right0fReagan at February 27, 2009 8:31 PM
IF YOU DONT LIKE LOGGING TRY USING PLASTIC TOILET PAPER or how about using a pinecone on you delicate little butthole
Posted by: Flu-Bird at February 27, 2009 10:16 PM
If you run short of soft TP, try a copy of "The Nation", "Mother Jones" or the Sunday NYT - all equally suitable for the task at issue.
Posted by: PabloD at February 27, 2009 11:58 PM
If you run short of soft TP, try a copy of "The Nation", "Mother Jones" or the Sunday NYT - all equally suitable for the task at issue.
Posted by: PabloD at February 27, 2009 11:58 PM
Frankly thar NRDC jerk should climb into a catapult and luanch himself back to the island of green freakiods he came from
Posted by: Flu-Bird at February 28, 2009 8:45 AM
