« Pepsi Degeneration | Main | Dem Proposals for Coming Orgy of Pork »
January 9, 2009
Porn Industry Wants Its Share of Bailout Loot
Here's where your money may go next, after the State has moved on from bailing out bankers, brokers, and Detroit:
Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and "Hustler" magazine publisher Larry Flynt have said they will petition Congress for financial aid along the lines of what the Big Three auto makers are getting.
Francis said that he and Flynt are asking for $5 billion, and that they have sent letters to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, Congress and their local Congressman, Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) with the proposal.
Porn merchants have learned from watching the theatrical antics of Detroit's jewel-encrusted mendicants.
Francis said that if invited, he and Flynt would drive across the country in a hybrid vehicle to present their plans to Congress.
Bureauweenies won't want to miss this opportunity to partially nationalize another sector of our formerly free economy.
Francis said he and Flynt would also be willing to discuss the possibility of the government buying equity stakes in their companies, as was done with financial firms.
"If the government would like to be a partner with Mr. Flynt and I, we’re certainly amenable to it," he said.
Flynt, known by some as "the Conscience of the Democratic Party," has partnered with the government before, when he helped Slick Willie dig up dirt on Republicans who found his felonious behavior less than acceptable. Lowlife friends in high places matter more than merit it post-capitalist America.

On tips from Kristy and Bernie D.
Posted by Van Helsing at January 9, 2009 7:06 AM
Comments
Sort of gives new meaning to "Government Stimulus Package".
At least those in this industry work. Not at all like the jobs bank that the auto makers have. Mind you I'm not endorsing a bailout.
Posted by: anonymous at January 9, 2009 7:32 AM
They deserve a bailout. How am I to enjoy my hobby if my hobby is hobbled with debt? After all, I would wager these clowns have about 13 kids each and need the work.
Posted by: Porn Enthusiast at January 9, 2009 7:40 AM
The smut industry NEEDS TO GO BROKE TO CURB THE DIRTY FEEELINGS OF PERVERTS LIKE PORN ENTHUSIAST
Posted by: Spurwing Plover at January 9, 2009 7:44 AM
It is so sad to see the looting of your once great nation, the U.S.A.
The commies have clubbed Uncle Sam to his knees and now the vultures gather to tear him to pieces.
What the hell is happening to the world?
Here in Australia, we have our own socialist PM handing out fistfuls of Australian taxpayers cash, willy-nilly, to whatever catches his momentary fancy.
Recently Rudd handed out $6.2 billion in assistance to our local car manufacturing industry over the next 13 years for ‘A New Car Plan For A Greener Future’.
Good grief.
Messing with the free market did not work anywhere in any communist or socialist country but these idiots keep trying to impose their will on the marketplace.
Oh yeah, that sort of central control of production, resource and wealth distribution worked just great for Russia and China didn't it.
Stupid commie scumbags never learn.
But what is happening in Australia is small stuff compared to what is happening in the States.
God help you. The crooks and lunatics are running the asylum.
Posted by: Mike_W at January 9, 2009 8:03 AM
We've gone from Girls Gone Wild to Socialist Bailouts Gone Wild
Posted by: Lyle at January 9, 2009 8:10 AM
What's even more disgusting than the liberal moonbats who think pornography is covered by the First Amendment are the liber(al)tarians not only do the same thing, but claim that banning such filth is also a violation of the free market. The porn industry begging for a bailout proves them wrong.
I think libertarians are worse than regular liberals.
Posted by: Anti-PC Man at January 9, 2009 9:06 AM
Anti-PC Man,
I seriously doubt you will find a libertarian who supports a porn bailout. There's a major difference between wasting time trying to ban porn and financially supporting the industry.
Posted by: Andrew at January 9, 2009 9:48 AM
I want a bailout. Give it to me!
Posted by: Harry Reems at January 9, 2009 11:03 AM
Who the hell buys porn anyway? I few minutes of free, depraved porn on the internet, fire of a few knuckle children and I'm all set.
Pay for porn. Suckers.
Posted by: Geronimo at January 9, 2009 1:16 PM
Don't be concerned. Barney Frank will tell Flynt to "shove it up my butt, I mean your butt".
Posted by: claw at January 9, 2009 3:22 PM
That Larry Flynt, He'a stand up guy.
Posted by: Bryherb at January 9, 2009 4:27 PM
Oh yeah, Larry Flynt and Max Cleland can race around the halls of congress/senate in their gimp carts and bitch about not enough handicap parking spots for their posse while brandishing a collection of banned sex toys they're trying to make for legal sale to minors. This is an SNL skit that writes itself. One gimped by a gun, the other by a beer and grenade and aren't they both anti-gun?. We can also see which one has the fancier colostomy bag. All to surreal.
Posted by: Bryherb at January 9, 2009 4:40 PM
Anti-PC man, porn is covered by the First Amendment, which is as it should be. Speech/expression in any format that is universally popular needs no protection. If you want to launch a crusade against it on moral grounds, be my guest. Don't pay for it yourself, and discourage others from doing so. But allow those that which to create such things to do so, and allow those who wish to consume such things to do so, without the government's interference or permission.
Please note that the drive to make something illegal on moral grounds has been applied (or at least tried) on video games, jazz, rock music, heavy metal music, various books, liquor (which gave us the Mafia - thanks, government!), drugs, fried food, SUVs, meat-eating, and I could go on and on. You don't have to agree with the morality of this particular issue to understand that banning anything like this because it is unpopular among a segment of the population will have a chilling effect across the rest of the population and open the doors for the banning of tons of other things. As the "Anti-PC Man", you should understand better than anyone that the whole PC and "right to not be offended" movement came out of the Supreme Court's boneheaded decision that there is actually "protected" speech and "unprotected" speech, when the First Amendment says nothing of the sort.
Regarding the bailout request itself, given Larry Flynt's long-standing habit of poking a stick into Big Brother's eye, I think this is really a publicity stunt cum (ha!) parody of the financial and automaker bailout. That is, I don't think they actually expect to get it.
Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 9, 2009 5:16 PM
My libertarian streak obviously screams "NO FUCKING WAY" to the idea of any sort of bailout. But honestly people, if anyone deserves our hard earned tax dollars, it's not the greedy bankers or lousy shitbox car makers in Detroit... It's the skanks with arm tracks who have been dutifully banging losers with bad haircuts for years, while we sit on our couches or chairs, mouth agape with drool, beating off to our hearts content.
Posted by: totheRightofReagan at January 10, 2009 1:35 PM
Why is anybody treating this as anything other than a joke? It's obvious Flynt and Francis aren't serious, they're pointing out the absurdity and hypocrisy of bailout plans.
Posted by: Bob Smith at January 10, 2009 4:52 PM

