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January 6, 2009
New York Times Reduced to Selling Front Page Ads
At least the New York Times can be counted on to provide good news — if you like to indulge in schadenfreude. The latest milestone in the execrable left-wing publication's decline: it is now selling ad space on the front page.
The first tacky front-pager was sold to their fellow dinosaur propagandists at CBS. If the federal government doesn't step in with a bailout soon, the Gray Lady's next step will be to put Billy Mays on TV to promise a free fib with each edition of lies if you subscribe to the Times by midnight tonight.
Hat tip: NewsBusters, on a tip from Mike.
Posted by Van Helsing at January 6, 2009 10:20 AM
Comments
Billy Mays...That's funny.
I invited him, the Sham-Wow! guy, and the announcer from a mesothelioma commercial to my Christmas dinner. All night long they were spilling things on each other, cleaning it up, and threatening to sue if the stains were permanent. It was terrible.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 6, 2009 10:39 AM
Sorry, forgot my name...
Posted by: Harris at January 6, 2009 10:45 AM
Ha! Billy Mays is a riot! My wife and I wonder if he talks (yells) like that in real life, too, or just on TV. I figure he does - in commercials, he's playing himself as himself.
From TFA: But The Times did not sell displays on the first page of the first section, a move regarded by traditionalists as a commercial incursion into the most important news space in the paper. As the Times no longer reports news in favor of leftist propaganda, I see no issues there.
Anon: Re: The Sham-Wow guy. Talk about trash! I'd have a beer with Billy Mays, but I wouldn't even let the Sham-Wow guy in my house.
Posted by: CoderInCrisis at January 6, 2009 10:45 AM
New york times should just put the phrase on the front "wipe Here".
Posted by: Watching at January 6, 2009 11:06 AM
When the NYT gets so frantic that they start reporting unbiased news and behaving like professional journalists, I will believe they are scared and worried about their survival. But they never will.
Endless tricks of lipstick on pigs, spit shines on turds, and marketing tricks using sex (naked boobs and sex scandals of celebrities) and screaming idots from tv cannot save them. It has become one of my real joys in life to watch them slowly die an excruciating painful death.
Posted by: SnowSnake at January 6, 2009 11:20 AM
@SnowSnake
When the NYT gets so frantic that they start reporting unbiased news and behaving like professional journalists
You're assuming they'd know how to. Somehow, I doubt it.
Posted by: Rob Banks at January 6, 2009 11:28 AM
Wilford Brimley could kick Billy Mays AND the Sham-Wow guys butts, all in time to go home and use his diabeetus testing supplies.
Posted by: Kristy at January 6, 2009 11:39 AM
What a nightmare scenario - Billy "Mute Button" Mays pitching for the New York "Birdcage Liner" Times. Aaaaaarrgghhhh!
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 6, 2009 12:11 PM
I heard Mr. DIE-A-BEET-US testing supplies Brimley had died last year. Either he didnt or he is a zombie.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 6, 2009 12:30 PM
Our local store is soon going to be selling the NEW YORK SLIMES from a vending machine and were here in NORTHERN CALIFORNIA(STATE OF JEFFERSON)I mean the NYSs MUST BE SO DESPERATE FOR SUBCRIBERSour town is still a agraculture based community we dont need this liberal rag
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at January 6, 2009 12:31 PM
The New Dork Slimes called me recently to ask if I would subscribe to their crappy paper. I told them I don't have a bird, so no thanks. I'm enjoying watching them slowly drying up like the puss-filled vaginal sore that they are. The only thing I'm afraid of is that dufus Odumbass bailing them out, because they are such good toadies to the dumbocrats.
Posted by: Rick at January 6, 2009 1:44 PM
Rick even if you had a bird he would probibly pick your eyes out or bite off your middle finger if you ever did try to line his cage with the NYTs
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at January 6, 2009 1:50 PM
Vince at Sham Wow has a new commercial out, he's pitching one of those cheesy chopper things that never work. At one point he tosses a competitive product over his shoulder into the sink with a loud clatter. It's very annoying, especially in the morning.
Posted by: Karin at January 6, 2009 1:58 PM
Yeah, the Sham-Wow guy was chopping everything at the table on Christmas Eve, and Billy dropped an OxyClean tablet into his drink. Luckily we had enough Kaboom to clean up the kitchen, and everyone got the official 9-11 $20 sterling silver 'notes' in their stocking. We sat in front of the fire in our 'Snuggies' and got $600 for our scrap gold. It was a pretty annoying Christmas.
Posted by: Harris at January 6, 2009 2:16 PM
It's times like these when I miss Ron Popeil.
P.S. Wilford Brimley isn't dead!
Posted by: Kristy at January 6, 2009 2:51 PM
Maybe they could, um, perk up their circulation a bit with "Page 3 Girls"?
Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at January 6, 2009 3:30 PM
Oh, and Ron Popeil is still around, too.
Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at January 6, 2009 3:36 PM
Billy Mays? Didn't he go by the name of Willy when he was a centerfielder for the Giants? I guess he changed it to Billy when he became a pitcher.
Posted by: claw at January 6, 2009 3:38 PM
Haven't British papers (like the Times of London) pretty much always sold ad space on page one?
Maybe the Times of NY is having Europe Envy - a common affliction among liberals.
Posted by: Jimbo at January 6, 2009 4:05 PM
My favorite new band:
WILFORD BRIMLEY DEATH SQUAD
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=91309271
Ok, the music sucks ass, but the name is golden.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 6, 2009 7:51 PM
I'd only buy that rag if it had the Billy Mays "Gangsta Remix". Billy Mays Here! word
Posted by: LT Nixon at January 6, 2009 11:05 PM
How does the Times manage to stay in print?
Are we looking at Saudi money helping the Times
stay in business? Just wondering.
Posted by: oldguy at January 8, 2009 6:42 AM
