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January 6, 2009
Militant Hysterics Invent Third-Hand Smoke
Some moonbat totalitarians have moved on to restricting food, but others aren't through whipping up hysteria over cigarettes, which we now learn can inflict harm by producing third-hand smoke. As usual, it's all about the children:
Parents who smoke often open a window or turn on a fan to clear the air for their children, but experts now have identified a related threat to children's health that isn't as easy to get rid of: third-hand smoke.
That's the term being used to describe the invisible yet toxic brew of gases and particles clinging to smokers' hair and clothing, not to mention cushions and carpeting, that lingers long after second-hand smoke has cleared from a room. The residue includes heavy metals, carcinogens and even radioactive materials that young children can get on their hands and ingest, especially if they're crawling or playing on the floor.
Doctors from MassGeneral Hospital for Children in Boston coined the term "third-hand smoke" to describe these chemicals in a new study that focused on the risks they pose to infants and children.
It makes perfect sense that if human CO2 emissions can dangerously warm the entire planet, a few parts per zillion of cigarette smoke can cause cancer, if not grotesque mutations accompanied by convulsions and hemorrhoids, climaxing with children's skulls exploding.

On a tip from Lyle.
Posted by Van Helsing at January 6, 2009 10:06 AM
Comments
Hooly Shit! What will the scumbags think of next? The mere thought boggles the mind. Oh yes. The inside of my pickup smells like smoke. It's MY pickup. Not yours, not the congress' not the epa's or the property of the state of Kansas. It's MINE.
Posted by: Glenn Cassel AMH1(AW) USN RET at January 6, 2009 10:29 AM
And yet, millions upon millions of us have somehow survived third-hand, second-hand and even first-hand smoke and grown old.
One of my earliest memories is of sitting on my fathers lap while he blew smoke rings so that I could stick my finger in them like a ring. Good clean fun.
Posted by: Kevin R at January 6, 2009 10:34 AM
Yeah, but nothing is more satisfying than a Kool 100 Menthol Plutonium.
Posted by: Harris at January 6, 2009 10:44 AM
Of course, Kevin! I loved sitting on my grandpa's lap while he smoked his pipe. My mom smoked through all 4 of her pregnancies, and we were all born a little over 8 lbs. We all turned out fine. Hand-wringers. I think Rush was ridiculing this the other day.
While we're at it, we must ban mudpies, running barefoot through the grass, fishing with nightcrawlers, and sandboxes. Who knows what harmful filth our precious children will encounter? Also, babies are hereby required to refrain from putting things in their mouths.
Posted by: Karin at January 6, 2009 11:36 AM
Speak for yourselves. I can smell cigarettes on the clothes of people when I'm in stores and even then it gives me a headache. This is one instance where I wish the government would actually ban something.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 6, 2009 11:42 AM
I guess 4th hand smoke would amass within the dryer lint catcher after 3rd hand smoke clothes had been washed and dried, and 5th hand smoke is the residue that might remain on the hands of a person so unfortunate as to have to clean out the lint.
Posted by: Rougman at January 6, 2009 12:02 PM
OK... who pays for the keyboard and monitor clean-up? ROFLMAO!!
Ya can't make this stuff up. It truly is insane out there. I feel like I've fallen asleep and fallen through The Looking Glass. Anyone seen Alice lately?
Posted by: chuck in st paul at January 6, 2009 12:07 PM
Thirdhand hogwash Noe you can bet some liberal politician will write up some stupid bill to ban people from smoking in their own homes if the neighbors kids might get effected while outside SCREWBALLS. NEGLEGENT DOCTORS HAVE KILLED MORE PEOPLE THEN GUNS THE AMA SNAKES AND VENMOUS AND EVIL
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at January 6, 2009 12:35 PM
I may or may not be breaking the law while I'm smoking a Marlboro Medium cigarette at my computer desk. I live in an apartment in Belmont, a 'burb outside of San Francisco w/ the most rerstrictive smoking ban in the country. I'm waiting for the smoking police to come and kick my door down. :)
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/local&id=5751516
Posted by: Nathaniel M at January 6, 2009 12:50 PM
i had to go have an hour and a half nap and a cigarette before i came back to comment!
Posted by: nanc at January 6, 2009 12:52 PM
I don't like cigarette smoke either...BUT:
In a related study, The journal Pediatrics has found that Interplanetary-Hand Smoke is now becoming a Global Health Hazard. The study suggests that aliens on planets outside our solar system have taken up smoking (via them seeing our old TV commercial broadcasts). That smoke then outgasses the 250 toxic waste chemicals onto cosmic ray particles traveling through the universe. Some of those cosmic rays find their way to our planet, RAINING DOWN A TOXIC HELL-BROTH OF INTERGALACTIC DEATH FROM CIGARETTE SMOKE. Since these rays come from deep in the galaxy, every square inch of earth is now polluted with deadly Interplanetary-hand smoke poisons, causing untold millions of illnesses.
The journal Pediatrics is considering filing a lawsuit against the entire tobacco industry, all television stations that ever broadcast a cigarette commercial and possibly all planets in the known universe that have the possibility of sustaining life-forms that could smoke.
Posted by: matt at January 6, 2009 1:13 PM
I strongly suspect using any soap/detergent when washing clothes will leave a larger amount of just-as-harmful chemicals for an infant to chew on. And I for one object to the smells added to many commercial cleaning products.
But then, since it is possible for an adult human to "drown" because of a tablespoon of water, I am still waiting for bathtubs and the even more dangerous showers to be banned.
Posted by: teqjack at January 6, 2009 1:18 PM
...and these same assholes want to legalize, or at least decriminalize marijuana. Last I heard, you have to SMOKE it. What f***ing jerks.
Posted by: Jim Bob at January 6, 2009 1:49 PM
That's the argument I have given, JIM BOB.
Damn you, ROUGMAN! I was going to put a patent on "4th hand smoke" then sue their @$$es off when they came up with that!
Posted by: KHarn at January 6, 2009 2:22 PM
Back with another idea.
Can we sue the Liberals for "second-hand STUPIDITY"?
Posted by: KHarn at January 6, 2009 2:24 PM
They who stand for nothing will fall for anything.
Posted by: Max at January 6, 2009 3:24 PM
What baffles me about the left's zealous crusade against cigarettes, is that these are some of the same folks who will simultaneously point out the failures of the War on Drugs.
Folks have gone over the edge of sanity when they want their own preference enforced upon everyone else, simply because they find a certain odor to be unpleasant.
When will folks learn, that even when you want prohibition to work, prohibition still never works. Banning something doesn't make it magically go away. As far as I know, things like prostitution still exist despite bans.
But I'm sure that law enforcement is looking forward to having a whole new black market to deal with.
Posted by: Jaeson at January 6, 2009 3:27 PM
People who make a big show of being offended by cigarette smoke are almost always people I'd rather not be around. It's a sort of litmus test I've used over the years, and it rarely lets me down.
Posted by: forest at January 6, 2009 3:37 PM
SPURWING PLOVER - It's been done, Smoking in one's residence (not all) is outlawed in Belmont, CA (a community near San FranFreakShow) - Done under the total premise of REGULATING SECOND HAND SMOKE. Now we have third hand smoke to regulate..
The Cops will even pull you over for smoking in your car if they see children with you.... and you will get cited and reported to Family Nutcase Services...
http://belmont.gov/SubContent.asp?CatId=240001764&C_ID=240002655
Video (Bonus - note how the Belmont Seal looks a lot like the Obama Seal): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wWd3w_KHQ0
Posted by: Oiao at January 6, 2009 4:51 PM
OMG Put all of this time, money and passion into correcting the real wrongs in the world, and we would have paradise!
Posted by: Narco at January 6, 2009 6:33 PM
They got one thing right: Obama's noxious emissions will pollute the White House for years to come (and I'm not talking tabacco)
Posted by: BURNING HOT at January 6, 2009 7:54 PM
These trolls are amazing. Anon says:
"Speak for yourselves. I can smell cigarettes on the clothes of people when I'm in stores and even then it gives me a headache. This is one instance where I wish the government would actually ban something."
I can understand banning smoking in public places, but to ban smoking period is a complete affront to our country's belief in the value of liberty.
Cigarettes are crap, but if I see another liberal appeal for the legalization of drugs by the same people who hate the tobacco industry I will scream.
This is not about cigarettes, its about anti-corporate activism. If drugs were to get legalized liberals will quickly change their mind and call for its ban when the government or corporations start to control it.
Liberalism is nothing, but aimless contrarianism in the raw pursuit of power.
Posted by: Freedom Now at January 6, 2009 8:59 PM
I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. It makes my throat swollen and gives me a headache. That being said, theres plenty of places I or they can go to get away from each other. Steer clear, and I'll be fine.
Posted by: conservativeteen at January 6, 2009 8:59 PM
I can understand banning smoking in public places,
The problem here is that leftists have a serious misunderstanding of the difference between private and public property.
Public property, constitutes property paid for by public funds, or taxpayer dollars.
Everything else, is private property.
In the cases of businesses, they are private property with an open invitation extended to the public.
So the notion of banning anything in "all public places" falls apart, once the definitions of public and private are understood.
Posted by: Jaeson at January 6, 2009 9:36 PM
Jaeson - The problem is, with the Libbatard Mind, that they do not truely believe in "Private Property".
The exception to the rule is if they become a very wealthy Libbatard like Soros or Babs, then they scream about everyone else being selfish with their "Private Property", for the cause, but defend their Privacy and "Private Property" - HippoLibs.
Many of a very Libbatard Congress Ass activly promote the pushing of laws that undermine the citizen's rights to owning physical property as a personal right. They do this through codes, ordinances, tax laws........
So, in a true Libbatard's mindset, anything they can see, if it offends them, happens on "Public Domain".
Posted by: Oiao at January 6, 2009 10:20 PM
Liberal moonbats have been trying to get auto makers to quit instaling ashtrays in cars
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at January 6, 2009 10:28 PM
Smelling smoke on someone's clothes, therefore smoke causes headache, excuse me? INCORRECT. When a smokophobe smells smoke, they get rather 'tense': therein lies the cause of their 'instant' headache.
Third hand smoke: yet another example of the 'feel-good-save-the world' mantra that feeds the pulse of the fear-mill and the best way for a researcher to secure money is by funding-through-fear. In this Alice-world it's a sure-fire bet.
The trouble so many refuse to grow up and think independently. Fifty years of vacuous TV and dubbed down media drivel have successfully culminated in ten second sound bites for those residual mental titans still able to cope. Feed them 'third hand smoke' and they'll suck it up. Ask them about absolute/relative risk and you'll only get a blank stare.
Alvin Toffler was right-on in 'Future Shock'. The future lies in the hands of those who have access to and understand the use of knowledge!
Posted by: Des at January 6, 2009 10:42 PM
Oh, for crying out loud, this isn't even original! Third-hand smoke was a joke on FOX's "The ½ Hour News Hour" a couple or so years ago!
Posted by: SpideyTerry at January 7, 2009 5:35 AM
Oiao - That's my point exactly. Essentially that liberals do not understand the definitions and concepts of private vs. public property, as is evidenced by much of their expressed philosopies.
Posted by: Jaeson at January 7, 2009 8:11 AM
i just washed layers of disgusting third hand smoke off my new office desk... seems that these desks were actually purchased and used through the years that smoking was legal in offices.
everything was literally coated with a beige patina that was so pervasive that new cabinets purchased were beige, and now dont match since they were to match the white ones which were beige from the smoke.
i work in a hospital
while i can agree with the existence of such patina...
i dont think that its critical enouhg compared to other things, though in truth, there is no amount that is 'safe'...
that doesnt mean that it means much though... after all, we are not immortal, and if you look around, this is how life makes sure that such things really dont matter in the long run...
the whole reason that life is not immortal is so that each generation takes advantage of a clean start... menses make sure the womb is new... the sperm egg mating allows qualities to be very mobile in the population through genetics.
even we dont maintain things forever... we get new ones... its easier for life to work from new points, start over, and work a bit farther.
cancer and death have a biological purpose (been writing a thesis with a genticist partner of mine. no i am not a geneticist).
cancer is organ genisis (though this would take WAY too long for me to explain here)
and it works with death to sort qualities and push negatives off the end, while positive qualities converge from the older looser cells in old age who do not have their stories and purpose written fully yet, like early cells in the bodies lineage.
so the existene of a cancer causing chemical is the reation of the body to a substance it has no way of handling. it can either ignore it, remove or destory it, or use it. but which one?
the work i have been doing is quite interesting on this... since a series of chemcial actions cant easily be made in one cell, and they havent worked out why... (and so a sticking point for creation vs evoution, of which they may be both right, the universewas created to have evolution. duh. nature nurture is also a 100% both answer... change either, and you have something new. so thats not 50 50 either, its 100% 100%. duh)
ALL of this stuff has to do with us taking a preferential view in time.
for instance...
what if i told you there was no such thing as pollution?
that its an illusion?
you would say that i am nuts, right?
well, try this on for size. we live in a narrow perception band. to one side of us are things so slow, we dont notice it, they are static and almost unchanging.
on the other side, things move so fast, we also cant percive them.
we live in a narrow size band too... too small and we cant perceive it, too large and we cant either. (we are just discovering some really incredibly huge things, and i am sure there are bigger).
well, when we percieve pollution, we are really attempting to avoid change. (remember the left is inverted. so when they say communism will set us free more than capitalism, they are referring to themselves the despots!!! they are imprisoned and enslaved by everyone elses freedom. the politico cant act wihtout us letting him. now the more we move to communism, the more WE are enslaved, and the more free the people taking us this way are!!! )
anyway... everything around us is made of only a few atomic things... what is pollution? an alternative arrangement of those completely same entities put together.
give it 1000 years and where is the pollution?
meanwhile, we as people havent figured out that as technology progresses, a waste dump becomes the richest vein of ores and materials that can exist!!!!!!
but it would take a lot of cheap easy energy... and we would end up removing the problem... (like we have been doing. recycling eventually can be applied to buried garbage, not just above ground, its expense changes dramatically when its processed by copious amounts of cheap energy)
and here is another farce that tells you what they are doing.
we are making cannisters for nuclear storage, and digging a big hole for it, and tha hole is to hold it how long? 10,000 years?
why?
is real ubiquitous space flight off the table?
if it isnt, then this is ridiculous, if it is, then this then makes sense. (how long before a civilian dies in a space commercial flight and it stops again? not hard, eh).
so again, even nuclear waste is not garbage... we are already experimenting with space flight... and the sun can eat all of it we can send to it. heck it can take the whole earth, and not even burp.
ah... but space flight will do the same thing that finding new contenents did. fracture the system, like grains of sand in a pile that shift at criticallity, and the distance will allow freedom, and so, like america did, imprison the rulers and despots as OUR servants, rather than we as theirs.
so many here are blindly asserting, and dont realize it at all... and all they talk about, and even my stuff, is meaningless, because it keeps us busy spinning our wheels in endless discussion.
when most of the time all we are doing is trying to figure out why when we call a rose, a pig we belive its a pig and no longer can see the rose?
eugenics... abortion...
cant see the pig being called a rose?
so much, so little time, and i dont have a pundit position to explain...
ah well..
here is an example
liberals do not understand the definitions and concepts of private vs. public property, as is evidenced by much of their expressed philosopies
they dont? i will tell you they do, and they know it more than you, and the leaders are playing you.
how?
easy... you accept what they say as face value, but dont see the word game that i exampled above.
obama puts a new man in cia... right
everone is trying to make sense of it. right
but they think its a bad choice... why?
because they accept the goal of the agency and the state, and they refuse to say... wait a minute, this choice means what?
they will not add the negative options to the formulea that would have them juggle the two options..
1) the choices someone makes when they want what we believe purposes are about
2) and the choices that are seen when they want an outcome different than these purposes, having ulterior motives.
if all the motives that are positive and what they are dont fit...
we then call them crazy, stupid, or ignorant.
not devious with an Ulterior motive.
ah... and now it seems to make sense fitting into the only option we are willing to entertain. the square peg has been jammed into the round hole.
this is parasitical... like malaria... they are hiding in front of us, and covering their actions with pretend incompetence, which we forgive if its well meaning, like the parasite covers itself with a cell by being inside it.
after all, what if we realize the real nature of our new relationship with our new owners?
[could be why smart people not part of the game are eliminated... kind of skews the other side no? kind of makes sure that no one is smart enouhg to unravel the gordian knot and expose the farce of inversions]
so many idiots rising to top positions and so many making millions, and doing so from jaesons and my pockets and all of you... and they are about to make a successful play to own everything, including us, and you say they dont understand?
which side is actually ignorant of the ends?
Posted by: Artfldgr at January 7, 2009 8:06 PM
How about in the movie WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT when BABY HERMAN who smokes cigars when he isnt doing movies Oor in MEN IN BLACK those litle aliens THE WORM GUYS who smoke and even though he had a pipe but the only time you ever saw smoke from POPYEYES corncob pipe was when he tooted on it
Posted by: SPURWING PLOVER at January 7, 2009 11:34 PM

