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December 5, 2008

The Smartest Morons on TV

This is not a photoshop, but an actual screenshot from Entertainment Weekly:

the-view-idiots.jpg

Of the four women in the picture, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who at least means well, contributes more than three quarters of a collective IQ that falls short of triple digits. As for the other three:

Whoopi Goldberg, who has demanded "reverence" for women who abort their children, believes that the rights of blacks to vote in the USA is provisional and would lapse if not renewed by Congress "every couple of years."

Joy Behar believes that blacks who hate whites are not racist, because they belong to a special interest group that constitutes an "oppressed minority." Professor Behar has equated sainthood with schizophrenia, compared Donald "Light Footprint" Rumsfeld to Hitler, and thinks al Qaeda is headed by a guy named Obama bin Laden.

Sherri Shepherd's mental incapacity is so severe, she literally does not know if the earth is flat:

If these idiots are on the list of the smartest people on TV, try to imagine a list of the dumbest — or worse still, a list of the dumbest compilers of lists for entertainment magazines.

On a tip from Dennis S.

Posted by Van Helsing at December 5, 2008 6:14 PM

Comments

Whoopie was also the person who was afraid that sticking to the Constitution meant bringing slavery back.

Apparently she never heard of the 14th amendment.

Posted by: Jaeson at December 5, 2008 6:32 PM

My mom worked for EW from it's opening until she retired about 15 years ago. I'm going to forward this to her for her thoughts on the state of EW today... I'll post back if I get a response.

Posted by: Henry at December 5, 2008 6:38 PM

Smart people are not on television by definition! Those drawn to be in front of the camera are the ego servicing self absorbed.

Posted by: CharlieDontSurf at December 5, 2008 6:41 PM

I think it was Sherri Shepherd who was confused about whether the world is flat.



Notice that Hasslebeck is credited in the lead for her "shockingly gracious" postelection concession. (as opposed to what? Her usual ungracious, disgusting behavior?)


Yeah. Not surprising. The only time the media recognizes "genius" is in reference to athletes or comedians or themselves.

Posted by: Fiberal at December 5, 2008 7:08 PM

Jaeson, they be foe-teen? you smart ass honky beeyatch! I is reportin' you to da Obamunist Hate Speech Tribunal! Gets redy to be re-edumacated.

Posted by: Whoopie at December 5, 2008 7:14 PM

Whoopi's just living off her success in inventing the whoopie cushion, which is differentially brighter than she is.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 5, 2008 8:01 PM

Remember when thinking the world was round, and wasn't the center of the universe, was moonbattery?

Amazing, the raving lunatics of today!

Posted by: Cheesecake at December 5, 2008 8:06 PM

Elizabeth Hasselbeck seems to be their pet conservative, to be argued with and bullied in a way that a fully fledged conservative could not be. Put someone like Ann Coulter in Elizabeth's place, and the show would go from being like the lions in the Roman Colosseum to the big cats at the Ringling Brothers' Circus.

Posted by: James McEnanly at December 5, 2008 8:22 PM

i cannot imagine being addicted enough to television to recognize the winners (or losers) of such a contest. am i the only person on the face of the planet who doesn't watch daytime tele?

Posted by: nanc at December 5, 2008 9:18 PM

No, nanc, I think most of us have jobs. Even if I were home during the day during the wekk, I would have better things to do than be glued to the Idiot Box.

The people that watch this sort of crap should try reading a book, going for a walk, taking up some sort of hobby that will stimulate their mind instead of dulling it.

Anything besides getting their 'thoughts and opinions' from that gaggle (minus Hasselbeck, who really does mean well) of morons.

On a side note, I think that Hasselbeck is slightly akin to Alan Colmes who is about as much use as tits on a boar. My friends who are Democrats loathe him with a passion.

They are both just punching-bags who cannot carry a lot of intellectual weight.

Just my opinion.

Posted by: Mike at December 5, 2008 9:26 PM

James, back when Rosie O' Donnell was on the View, I had long thought of how cool it would be if Ann Coulter debated her. Coulter would undoubtdly emerge the winner of the debate, and Rosie the Rhinoceros would be exposed for the idiot that she is.

Posted by: Adam at December 5, 2008 10:20 PM

"James, back when Rosie O' Donnell was on the View, I had long thought of how cool it would be if Ann Coulter debated her. Coulter would undoubtdly emerge the winner of the debate, and Rosie the Rhinoceros would be exposed for the idiot that she is." -Adam

Just an interesting thought. Isn't it funny that nothing remotely like that would ever happen on popular television? What would it be like if they did pit the pros against the pros, so to speak? There's no lack of material, certainly. Now *that* would be reality TV!

Posted by: Anonymous at December 6, 2008 12:57 AM

roberthq said:

"All greetings! I here the newcomer. Accept in the company?"

bflarry responded:

"Misters, it seems to me, that you have a little distracted from a theme."

who are all these aliens, van?

Posted by: nanc at December 6, 2008 7:21 AM

Weren't these the gals that puzzled over the definition of "suffrage" a while back? I never watch that stuff but I think I read something about that.

Posted by: B. Giguere at December 6, 2008 8:20 AM

Hey, nanc, if these Cyrillophiles are conservatives, we'll take 'em. If they're libs, we'll eat 'em for lunch and ask for seconds.

Re Hasselbeck: it still satisfies me no end that, as compared to the lib wackjobs on the show, she is the most gorgeous by at least two orders of magnitude. I recall fondly Van Helsing's posts on right-wing babaliciousness.

Posted by: The MaryHunter at December 6, 2008 8:23 AM

Consider the competition! Except for a few people on Fox, these might be the smartest people on TV. Does anybody think Charlie Gibson and Couric are smart? How about Oberman or Matthews? Bill Moyer? When one thinks about the thousands of remarks they have made about President Bush and his intelligence, one wonders if we even need talking heads on television. Show us the sporting events with a lot less commentary, show us the commercials if they are funny, and warn us of impending nuclear attack or tornadoes or hurricanes (again with a lot less commentary) and be done with it.

Posted by: SnowSnake at December 6, 2008 9:54 AM

Nanc, Maybe I should start leaving the Russian spam so readers can practice their language skills. Kind of funny how RobertHQ refers to himself with a feminine adjective.

Posted by: Van Helsing at December 6, 2008 10:38 AM

Well put, SnowSnake. You just made me realize how depressing it is that it's these liberal doofheads who are going into politics! We may see Chris Mathews run against the RINO Specter in PA. Only a few lawsuits stand between us and a possible Sen. Franken. These idiots unfortunately have star power and the backing of the MSM. We don't have nearly enough folk anymore like Fred Thompson or Lynn Swann or Steve Largent or, of course,(God rest his soul) Ronald Reagan.

Kelsey Grammer, please stand up!

Posted by: The MaryHunter at December 6, 2008 10:47 AM

This is why my TV is most often dark and silent. It's on right now for the first time all week - Gators/Tide game. The stupidest college football lineman has more brains in his biceps than Woopee! Goldbrick has in her liberal skull.

I wonder where Kelsey Grammar and other 'TV Conservatives' fall on their shitlist.

Posted by: Jimbo at December 6, 2008 2:30 PM

If these are the smartest people on TV, that says an awful lot about about the intelligence of people in television.

Posted by: V the K at December 6, 2008 2:41 PM

Well, I went through the list. Unsurprisingly, for the most part, I found it overwhelmingly stupid. Tyra Banks? Tina Fey? Seth MacFarlane at number one? Hey, I actually like "American Dad!", but "Family Guy" has largely been a trainwreck since it came back from the dead.

"I wonder where Kelsey Grammar and other 'TV Conservatives' fall on their shitlist."

In fairness, I can see why Grammar isn't on the list - to my knowledge, he's not regularly on TV anymore, and I'm assuming this list is recent. To include him wouldn't really be fair.

Still, I can't help but wonder where Trey Parker and Matt Stone are. In my opinion, "South Park" is unlike most of the shows associated with that list. In other words, it doesn't suck.

Posted by: SpideyTerry at December 6, 2008 3:33 PM

Indeed, Spidey. I gave up watching South Park years ago, but I'd agree that Trey Parker and Matt Stone appear to be MUCH smarter than Seth MacFarlane. They're a bit like a modern day Mark Twain, whereas MacFarlane is just another obnoxious, ultra- liberal, hate mongering TV boob.

Posted by: Adam at December 6, 2008 3:59 PM

Hey, even if these doofuses are the smartest people on TV, that's a pretty low bar. I mean, it's like being the tallest building in Dubuque, Iowa - who cares?

Posted by: Paco at December 6, 2008 4:50 PM

Hey now, give these people some credit. Clearly, the "View" cast must have more collective intelligence than you'd think.

An English teacher looking out for her colleagues jobs by saying Homeschoolers are demented.

Starring in "Sister Act" automatically sends you up the Christianity prestige ladder.

Clearly Biased interviews are the bread and butter of today's media.

Someone I've never seen before, but clearly smarter than I am because she's on TV and I'm not.

And video sideshow in "Made of Honor," Chick flick of the year.

See if you can guess who I'm talking about in each of those.

Posted by: Cheesecake at December 6, 2008 8:22 PM

The only reason The View is accepted on daytime television is because ALL the smart people are working and contributing to society when it comes on.

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at December 7, 2008 12:14 PM

Oh, and I consider stay home Mom's to be working and contributing big time to society, so they are included in the "smart people".

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at December 7, 2008 12:15 PM

"Starring in "Sister Act" automatically sends you up the Christianity prestige ladder."
Well, in that movie, the nuns were portrayed as ignorant prudes. Plus, many of Whoopi's other roles, not to mention her obscenity- laden stand- up acts, drop any respect Christians may have for her by several notches

Posted by: Adam at December 7, 2008 4:31 PM