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September 11, 2008

Tabloids Try to Out-Trash the MSM

Normally tabloids distinguish themselves from the dinosaur media with their over-the-top trashiness. But the MSM's campaign to destroy Sarah Palin by an means necessary has made this increasingly difficult.

In the National Enquirer's latest effort, her son Track, who is courageously heading off to fight terrorists in Iraq, is accused not only of using OxyContin, but of "snorting it, eating it, smoking it and even injecting it," as well as indulging in unspecified "wild antics" that Sarah and Todd Palin have been "powerless to stop." Their daughter Bristol is denounced as having been "as much of a hard partier as Track was" when she was "pre-prego."

Instead of following the MSM's lead by focusing on the kids, The Weekly World News takes a slightly classier tack:

Following Sarah Palin's emergence on the national stage, the blogosphere lit up with reports that Governor Palin does not actually hail from Wasilla, Alaska but from a planet known as Wazeela. The tiny planet, which is located some 37,000 miles due east from the Sun, is known to be rich with fossil fuels that lie beneath snow-capped peaks. Internet reports also cited the particularly short 5-month gestation period of Wazeela females as proof that Palin was, in fact, a Palien.

Look for MSNBC to follow up on both scoops.

On tips from V the K and Alien Gonzalez.

Posted by Van Helsing at September 11, 2008 12:53 PM

Comments

Getting pretty desperate now aren't they.

Posted by: Jenn at September 11, 2008 1:38 PM

So Track is pretty much doing the same things Obama did when he was Track's age except that Track is choosing to defend and serve his country.

Posted by: IOpian at September 11, 2008 2:06 PM

It's getting more and more difficult to tell the MSM and the tabloids apart, anyway. Hell, the Weekly World News is practically mainstream nowadays.

Posted by: CoderInCrisis at September 11, 2008 2:17 PM

Let me see if I can guess how this came out. A reporter waves a $100 bill in front of a pothead and says, "Tell me about doing drugs with Track Palin."

Posted by: V the K at September 11, 2008 2:24 PM

Good point, IOpian.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at September 11, 2008 2:27 PM

What about the drug test a person has to pass in order to enlist in the military... if he did that much oxycontin he would be so addicted he'd need rehab for the next 10 years! Palin is so awesome that the libtards are running scared! What a woman!

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at September 11, 2008 3:52 PM

Paliens, huh? Take me to your leader... hubba hubba!

Posted by: nobody at September 11, 2008 4:28 PM

The New Republic has its panties in a wad because, apparently, Track Palin was a hell of a hockey player. I guess the latte-sipping metrosexuals at TNR never heard of fighting at a hockey game, or playing hard to win.

Posted by: V the K at September 11, 2008 5:41 PM

Oxycontin being one of those drugs that gives one a lot of ambition and competitiveness, and all... yeah, have any of these twits tried to enlist lately? It's not the 70's anymore, as much as they reminisce; test positive for anything and it's "don't let the door hit ya on the ass on your way out."

Posted by: Mr Evilwrench at September 11, 2008 6:22 PM

If there's a planet full of Sarah Palins, I'm quitting my job to build a rocket ship out of spare auto parts.

Posted by: PabloD at September 11, 2008 8:21 PM

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN TEXAS

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the dogs. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Cooter

Posted by: Cooter at September 11, 2008 9:36 PM

Hey Cooter... good luck on that plan. Of course, the subjects would have to be able to actually read for it to work.

Posted by: nobody at September 11, 2008 10:21 PM

In 1997, Obama introduced an Islamic Community Day bill.

Full Text Bill Status

Senate Sponsors:
OBAMA.

Short description:
11/1/97-ISLAMIC COMMUNITY DAY

Synopsis of Bill as introduced:
Declares November 1, 1997 to be South Shore Islamic Community
Center Day.

Last action on Bill: SESSION SINE DIE

Last action date: 99-01-12

Location: Senate

Amendments to Bill: AMENDMENTS ADOPTED: HOUSE - 0 SENATE - 0

END OF INQUIRY

In 2001, Obama sponsored Illinois Senate Bill 750 creating the “Halal Food Act,” providing for inspections by the Department of Agriculture to ensure that all food labeled Halal is prepared according to Islamic law.

But nevermind all that. Let's talk about how Sarah Palin prays for the safety of our troops! Now that is scandalous. /sarc

Posted by: Anonymous at September 11, 2008 11:14 PM

a pig with lipstick (and glasses), is still a pig......

Posted by: Anonymous at September 12, 2008 1:32 AM

An Anonymous troll who doesn't use a name to slam a conservative woman on a conservative blog/comment area is still an ignorant coward!!! Wish you idiots would grow a brain and a couple of testicles!

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at September 12, 2008 3:35 AM

hoosier mom, is that your real name? whatever you say about me, a pig with lipstick is still pig....a book banning, fundamentalist, "creationsit", anti-science, lying grandmother, hypocrite, pig at that....

When did you grow your testicles, mom? It's apparent that the brain still hasn't arrived....

Posted by: Anonymous at September 12, 2008 4:50 AM

Rapper thug, Kanye "George Bush hates black people" West arrested at LAX on 9-11. Its must be part of the right wing conspiracy!!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=30167

"According to TMZ.com, West confronted a photographer who was attempting to take still photos of the rapper at the American Airlines terminal.

According to a TMZ videographer, "West rushed the (photographer) and grabbed his camera. A struggle ensued and the still guy was screaming, 'Police, help!'"

The Web site reports West took the camera and threw it to the ground, breaking it into pieces."

Posted by: General Jack D. Ripper at September 12, 2008 4:55 AM

Anon

A spade is still a spade.

Posted by: The Truth at September 12, 2008 5:34 AM

a spade is a spade except when its a garden tool.

Though I find it funny when lefties bash people on the right for being Christians while not bashing lefties like Obama for claiming to be a Christian. Lefties like banning books like the Bible or any Christian oriented book while claiming to be open minded. Lefties also completely discount the possibiliy that some higher intelligence created life on Earth while ignoring that human scientists from Earth are creating new life form in the laboratory and will likely created life forms to seed other worlds with life where Earth life cannot exist.

Oh yes, lefties are sooooooooooo open minded. LOL!

Posted by: Anonymous at September 12, 2008 6:35 AM

Hoosier Army Mom says, "Wish you idiots would grow a brain and a couple of testicles!" Because then they would become conservatives.

I notice Sarah Palin got through the interview without once claiming a question was "above her pay grade."

(How dare you assume I'm referring to anyone specifically when I use that expression!)

Posted by: V the K at September 12, 2008 7:19 AM

Lefties don't want to ban the Bible. That's about as true as the story that Sarah Palin wanted to ban books.

They want to ban Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh. They want to stifle political speech from contemporary commentators who might influence public opinion.

The certainly want to go through every last scintilla of Sarah Palin's garbage while declaring Obama's past affiliations "off limits".

So, the fundamental point about their open-mindeness is correct. They aren't. "Denier!"

Posted by: HealthyGirl at September 12, 2008 7:25 AM

When did you grow your testicles, mom? It's apparent that the brain still hasn't arrived....

Posted by: Anonymous at September 12, 2008 4:50 AM

Hey Anon, the Proctologist called. He found your head!

Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at September 12, 2008 3:26 PM