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August 21, 2008
The Dems Gain a Convert
Tragic news: Moonbattery has lost a treasured reader to the Dark Side. Oiao reports on his conversion:
NOW, I see the light! 'Change we can believe in.'
I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody (except a Christian or a conservative) is offended by it.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they NOW think we're good people.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start riding the subway.
I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates live.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should NOT be allowed to make profits for stockholders (pension funds, 401K's, etc). They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as government bureaucrats see fit.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over THERE, and they come over HERE (and they WILL!), I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off.
I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. (I've decided to marry the Olsen Twins — both of them — AND their dog!)
I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the GOVERNMENT TAX on gas at 18% isn't.
I'm voting Democrat because I don't want the USA to drill for oil off its own shores to preserve its economic freedom but will allow other countries that choice!! … and even let foreign countries drill off of OUR OWN coast — like China is doing off Florida!!
I'm voting Democrat because I want the Congress to take a vacation to avoid a vote on off-shore drilling.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that 143 days in the US Senate is enough experience for a person to run the whole country!! (For a CHANGE)
I'm voting Democrat because we need a leader with the wisdom that tells us that if we just put more air in our tires instead of drilling for more oil that we can save as much oil as if we drilled new wells. This is the wisdom of 'Change.' WOW!
I'm voting Democrat because I want to PAY for illegal alien health insurance, illegal alien car insurance, illegal alien education, etc. This too, is the wisdom of 'Change'! DOUBLE WOW!
I'm voting Democrat because I want to pay reparations to all the people who once had ancestors who were ever treated poorly (only hyphenated Americans need apply), now that we've apologized to them. TRIPLE WOW!
But mostly I'm voting Democrat because I'm mad at anyone who makes more money than me; and I expect the government to PUNISH them by taking the extra and giving it to me. In fact, I should quit working and let the government give ME even more. QUADRUPLE WOW!
That's 'Change' we can believe in!
See ya at the DNC next week.
Hopefully the Democrats will hire him to do outreach on behalf of the Party.
Posted by Van Helsing at August 21, 2008 11:58 AM
Comments
Im sold! Go Osama !!! I mean Obama !! LOL!
Posted by: Anonymous at August 21, 2008 12:18 PM
Oiao, say it ain't so!!!
Posted by: Archonix at August 21, 2008 12:31 PM
"it ain't so" LOL
Posted by: Oiao at August 21, 2008 12:41 PM
If he shows up naked and riding a bicycle, we'll know he's well and truly lost.
Posted by: CoderInCrisis at August 21, 2008 1:36 PM
Once Oiao tasted the arugula, he knew he could never go home again.
Posted by: mega at August 21, 2008 3:32 PM
Don't tell anyone, but Oiao is actually an agent-provocature who is infiltrating the Liberal hoards. Watch for big disruptions at the Dem convention. If they happen, we'll know to whom the credit should go. Although if the Party Of Love And Peace find out it was him, those honors might need to be bestowed posthumously.
Oiao, we hardly knew ye.
Posted by: matt at August 21, 2008 4:13 PM
Oops.
"provocateur"
I can spell. Really.
Posted by: matt at August 21, 2008 4:16 PM
"If he shows up naked and riding a bicycle, we'll know he's well and truly lost."
(Sound of single gunshot to the head)
Posted by: KHarn at August 21, 2008 5:25 PM
There are a few commenters here who need to consider writing columns for Conservative sites...Oiao is one of them.
Great work, buddy :D :D
Posted by: Toa at August 21, 2008 6:36 PM
Thanks for support Oiao, you typical racist cracker.
Posted by: Barack Obama at August 22, 2008 11:47 AM
BO, I prefer to be addressed as a typical racist saltine, thank you.
Posted by: Oiao at August 22, 2008 1:41 PM
New T-shirt idea ala Oiao:
"Saltine-American"
Posted by: The Him at August 23, 2008 8:36 AM
