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August 19, 2008
Kill the Whales
Congratulations in advance to Pat at BelchSpeak for the Nobel Prize he is sure to receive, having solved the global warming crisis.
As Green Living Tips reports, plankton help remove CO2 from the atmosphere. One reason the planet is doomed is that global warming, though nonexistent, is "decimating plankton populations," causing a vicious cycle.
Envirokooks have announced plans to pollute the ocean with powdered iron, which evidently cools off overheated plankton. But Pat has a much more sensible solution.
What really does decimate plankton populations is whales; they eat plankton by the ton. Clearly this makes them enemies of the planet that must be destroyed.
Like all ingenious solutions, this one seems obvious, once someone has thought of it. Don't feel sorry for the whales — they have it coming for helping to inspire the environmental movement.
Posted by Van Helsing at August 19, 2008 11:26 AM
Comments
Posted by: Lyle at August 19, 2008 12:08 PM
Whale is tasty. Just ask a fat eskimo.
Out in my garden, late at night, I can hear all the plants and trees taking up the CO2. So be real quiet. Late at night. Listen to the plant kingdom steaing OUR carbon dioxide, right from under our noses.
Posted by: Mockinbird at August 19, 2008 1:27 PM
Kill em all, let god sort em out.
Besides, they stink real bad when they wash up on the beach.
Posted by: Oiao at August 19, 2008 1:43 PM
A perfect example of the Tragedy of the Commons.
.
Posted by: OregonGuy at August 19, 2008 4:57 PM
save a whale, club a liberal.
Posted by: joe at August 20, 2008 2:03 AM
Save the trees - eat a beaver!
Posted by: chuck in st paul at August 20, 2008 2:23 PM
