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August 5, 2008
Convicted Killer Richard Cooey Too Fat to Execute?
The nice thing about moonbattery is that it makes the defective into a special class, immune from normal punishments, and everyone can find some justification for declaring themselves defective. For example, lawyers for convicted murderer Richard Cooey claim he shouldn't be executed because he's too fat.
Cooey is 5' 7" and weighs 267 lbs. Supposedly his weight would prevent him from being properly anesthetized before lethal injection, and therefore he should be spared, unlike the two University of Akron students he raped and murdered 22 years ago.
He needs better lawyers. If they claimed he's crazy or had been abused, he could probably get out of jail altogether. It's time he put in a call to the ACLU.
On tips from Oiao and Lyle.
Posted by Van Helsing at August 5, 2008 10:33 AM
Comments
Fine, starve him.
Posted by: CharlieDontSurf at August 5, 2008 10:59 AM
No, shoot him with a buffalo gun!
Posted by: KHarn at August 5, 2008 11:52 AM
Give him a lethal injection of LEAD RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.
Posted by: WMD_Maker at August 5, 2008 12:48 PM
Fat?!? He ain't that big!
Posted by: Archonix at August 5, 2008 1:49 PM
Funny, when I saw "too fat to execute", my first thought was hanging, ala Saddams' near decapitation.... a variation of the children's song came to me:
Round and round the campus quad
The rapist chased the coeds...
The rapist thought it was great fun until...
*POP* went his noggin.
Posted by: hiram13pm at August 5, 2008 2:36 PM
If they can do surgery on fat people, then they know how to anesthetize them. So much for that argument.
Nice try, boys.
Posted by: CoderInCrisis at August 5, 2008 3:55 PM
Try him and shoot him under Rule 303. (Apologies to Breaker Morant (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080310/))
Posted by: The Watcher at August 5, 2008 4:16 PM
"Cooey, 41, was sentenced to die for raping and murdering two female University of Akron students in 1986"... from the news story.
He wasn't too fat to rape and murder two college coeds, somebody's daughters, sisters, loved ones.
I say hook the IV up to the asshole's jugular... I'm sure they can find that!!!
Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at August 5, 2008 4:58 PM
"The Watcher at August 5, 2008 4:16 PM"
No appoligies nessisary.
"We tried and exicuted them under rule THREE-OH-THREE!" (Cut to rifle volley)
Posted by: KHarn at August 5, 2008 6:15 PM
I wanted to comment but everyone beat me to all my ideas!
Ready, aim...
Posted by: matt at August 5, 2008 7:42 PM
Two words: poisoned pizza.
Posted by: Anonymous at August 5, 2008 7:47 PM
Hey, with no other legal options left, the dude could just hope to change the law itself:
Posted by: BURNING HOT at August 5, 2008 7:56 PM
Was he already fat when he went to jail? Or did he get fat loading up on steak, lobster, baked potatoes, chips, rich desserts, etc FUNDED BY OUR TAX DOLLARS?? I think people in jail should lose weight because they should get crappy food to eat.
Posted by: Andrea at August 5, 2008 8:17 PM
No problemo! As Leno said, inject a pastry with the goodies and have him eat it.
I'd suggest hanging him by his gonads!
Posted by: Gene Lalor at August 5, 2008 10:50 PM
