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August 22, 2008
Another Obama Half-Brother Comes to Light
Obama's half-brother George, left to subsist on a dollar a month in a tiny shack on the outskirts of Nairobi while the multimillionaire Obamessiah munches arugula in the pricey Chicago mansion crooked slumlord Tony Rezko helped him acquire, isn't the only relative to cause some embarrassment. The Onion reports on another half-brother, Cooter:
Long kept a family secret, the overalls-clad, straw-chewing Kentuckian first entered the public spotlight in July, when he drove his 1982 Ford flatbed pickup through the press corps at an Obama rally in order to inform his brother that he caught the skunk that had been living under his front porch. […]
The Obama camp has scrambled to control the damage caused by Cooter's penchants for loudly practicing his banjo during Obama's speeches, repeatedly referring to Barack by his childhood nickname, "Ol' Jelly Legs," and chasing his troublemaking pig, Mbogo, in the nude in the background of Obama's CNN interview on the importance of education. […]
In the past two weeks, Obama has lost support from such groups as PETA, which withdrew its endorsement when Cooter punched a swan in the face, claiming it was "one of them mean ones"; the Clean Energy Group, which protested Cooter's recent attempt to fry a squirrel in a flaming 20-gallon barrel of diesel fuel; and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), whom Cooter mistook for an outhouse Monday and urinated on for 35 seconds.
Despite assisting in Obama's campaign, Cooter plans to vote for McCain, because "Ol' Jelly Legs wants to take my guns away."
The media really ought to take an interest in Obama's background. There's no telling what kind of colorful characters might turn up.
On a tip from d.
Posted by Van Helsing at August 22, 2008 6:49 AM
Comments
BO, the black Jimmy Carter.
Que the bango players...............
Posted by: Oiao at August 22, 2008 8:16 AM
If Obama wins, will Cooter get his own beer, just like Billy did?
Posted by: on-the-rocks at August 22, 2008 10:26 AM
in cooters favor, is teh fact that he is right. no, not hitting the swan, but that the swan was one of those mean ones.
the american swans are almost extinct, what you generally see are english trumpeter swans who are much much more agressive and territorial (which is why the american ones are dying out - of course peta doesnt really know much about animals and so doesnt know an invasive species causing extinction from a hole in their heads).
on the other side of it... is there a link to a video of cooter running around naked after a pig behind obama?
out of all the funny vids, that one would take the cake for piss funny and surreal in one shot.
Posted by: Artfldgr at August 22, 2008 10:44 AM
