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June 6, 2008
Kiwis Fight Global Warming with Flatulence Vaccine
One of the reasons that a mentally retarded child should be able to figure out that global warming is a hoax is that animal flatulence is said to be a major cause. This implies that there were more animals in the 80s and 90s, when temperatures rose slightly, than before or since. Nonetheless, New Zealand scientists are hard at work on the imaginary problem:
Methane pumped out the backsides of New Zealand's 45 million sheep and 10 million cattle helps make the tiny country a bigger per-capita climate culprit than notoriously polluted China, reports the Times of London.
So it was with great pride Wednesday that Phil Goff, the Kiwi trade minister, told a Paris meeting of the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development that the genome of the microbe responsible for all that methane had been isolated.
That would pave the way for a vaccine against bovine flatulence, he added, according to the Daily Telegraph.
There is a slight downside:
Of course, because those same gassy bacteria also give sheep, cattle and their kin the ability to digest grass and hay, the vaccine could just cause mass livestock starvation.
But as leftists like to say, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.
On tips from Bergbikr and Matt L, who wonders if a human flatulence vaccine could be far behind.
Posted by Van Helsing at June 6, 2008 7:09 AM
Comments
That cow must have eaten at Taco Bell.
Posted by: Farmer Ted at June 6, 2008 7:22 AM
The sheer hubris of attempting to halt the carbon cycle is simply breathtaking.
Posted by: Ian from the EUSSR at June 6, 2008 7:30 AM
How many millions were spent on developing this vaccine that could have been spent on feeding children, or breast cancer research, or something else that might have actually benefited humanity?
That's what Gaiaists are trying to do, make us sacrifice investment that could actually improve the world in order to develop vaccines against harmless cow farts.
Posted by: V the K at June 6, 2008 7:47 AM
Positioning themselves for the Carbon Cap-and Trade scheme is what they are doing.
Posted by: Cluebat from Exodar at June 6, 2008 8:15 AM
Sheep flatulence has ruined many a romantic moment in New Zealand.
Posted by: Lee at June 6, 2008 12:23 PM
Actually - the picture unkowingly shows the best remedy! Just fit livestock with a "pilot light" in their posterior section, and POOF! every fart goes up in smoke!
Brilliant!
Posted by: Jimbo at June 6, 2008 2:41 PM
Can I get some of that for my brother-in-law?
Posted by: Oiao at June 6, 2008 5:12 PM
This flatulence issue is relevant for ALL cud-chewing animals.
Moose
deer
antelope
bison
buffalo
reindeer
rabbits
monkeys
it's equally valid to consider all these offenders criminals and equally worthy of extinction.
Posted by: DAve at June 8, 2008 8:11 PM
