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They should bring in those people who routinely remove bears from electrical poles. One shot with a tranquilizer gun, and she's got her feet on the ground again. The ear tag and radio collar are optional.

JUMP!!!!!

That is all.

Dumpster Muffin should be taken into custody under the Baker Act.

Enjoy the elements. I hear it can get really hot out in the sun. Just put up a barricade to prevent people from giving her stuff, and she'll be down soon enough. And then theres the simple way of just shaking the pole.

Police shoot bear to protect people - Police get blamed for using excessive force.

http://www.pittsburghpostgazette.com/pg/08172/891414-100.stm

Oh yeah, and if the police had allowed to bear to attack one of the 150 people they would have been criticized for not shooting the bear.

No wonder there are shortages of cops in so many places - its not worth the hassle.

Muffin looks like a guy.

Dumpster Muffin,yep that pretty much describes her and her nether regions.

A few well placed shots from a paintball gun would solve "the problem".

http://www.history.com/media.do?id=History_Modern_Marvels_Saws_SF&action=clip

#3 mostly, but #1 would work also. After the ad

Actually, my first thought was a big-ass net and a tree-shaker, like they use on almond trees. Effective AND hilarious.

Forget the paintball gun.
This would be much more appropriate and effective.

"Treetards". LMAO!!!

Priceless.

Muffin will probably end up with Skin Cancer. Im just sayin'

"She’d screech and scream and shake the platform violently, forcing her opponents (who were dangling from a cable attached to a crane) to back off"

This job sounds more appropriate for a zookeeper vs. a fire department or a search and rescue team.

Cut off any interaction with the ground...problem solved. No food, no water, no nothing. "Dump-a-muffin" will be down, sniveling, in no time. If not, nature will take it's course and improve the gene pool.

Personally, I'd go the more proactive route, just to show present and future tree-huggers I was serious and to give them pause before trying this crap again. I'd request once "Come down now". No? Then remove the trespasser by whatever means is available. If said trespasser gets hurt because of their own behavior, they'll serve as a valuable object lesson.

That's a good term, treetards. I'll have to remember that.
Don't worry, though, the police and arborists managed I believe to cut off most of the supply lines, so hopefully when Dumpster Muffin (Gotta love how those dirty hippy freaks always come up with creative little names for themselves) runs out of water, that perch of hers will get hot enough in the summer sun that she'll either die of heat exhaustion or come down on her own.

TreeTards wins a 'cookie'!

Let's see -- from this vantage point, if I take careful aim, I can hit the right shoulder/arm with a .30-.30 -- that should bring her off of her perch, right quick, and she shouldn't lose the arm (just be painful for a while; well, okay, quite a while). Have the EMT's standing by . . .

It's very- make that EXTREMELY- hard to do the right thing in these situations (great suggestions, all!!!:D), because of the loathsome infestation of "Liberal" ambulance chasers who are doubtlessly waiting in the periphery for some civil servant to "violate the civil rights" of some treetard.

I'm rooting for gravity...

I realize this chick and her cronies are hurting the profit of the people who own the land, but the whole thing is just so....funny. I really like that hippies are so apt at demonstrating their hippiness. I for one am glad they continue to remind us of their complete inability to work within the system, and their complete lack of judgement and forthought.

Growing up in the late 70's and 80's, I always thought of hippies as a 60's thing. But these people are here to prove that stupidity for stupidity's sake is alive and well.

Thank you, Dumpster Muffin, for allowing me to give my own children some perspective on life. When I tell them of idiots in the world, sometimes it rolls off their back without people like you showing us pure examples of true, moronic behaviour. I could make flash cards out of stuff like this, to help teach my kids.

Hold up flash card of Dumpster Muffin on precarious arial "okay kids, what's this?"

"A dumb hippy?"

"That's right sweetie, now what did she do wrong?"

"uh..she...uh...worked outside a system that, if she had used it correctly, would have allowed her a day in court to legally protest any disputes she had with the use of the land and resources with the rightful owner?"

"Good just sweetie, an extra Capitalist point for you! Have a lolly!"