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May 8, 2008
Moonbats Attempt to Explain Why Conservatives Are Happier
Posted by Dave Blount at May 8, 2008 8:30 AM
A pair of moonbats at New York University conducted a study to discover why conservatives are so much happier than liberals.
Is it because conservatives believe in a meaningful universe, not the bleak, random, nihilistic void of Darwinism? No.
Is it because conservatives haven't psychologically crippled themselves with learned helplessness, instead accepting responsibility for their own success or failure? No.
Is it because conservatives can aspire to their dreams, without incessantly wallowing in neurotic guilt? No.
Is it because conservatives don't hate themselves for being Caucasian, or for living in the greatest country in the history of the world? No.
Is it because conservatives generally don't have to live with themselves after killing their own children? No.
Is it because conservatives understand that being human means they have intrinsic value, unlike liberals who can't tell a human from an animal or even a plant? No.
Conservatives rationalize social and economic inequalities.
In other words, conservatives are happy because they're too evil to care about the poor. Maybe in their follow-up research, these mopey idiots can explain why conservatives give much more to charity than liberals do.
Hat tip: NewsBusters; on a tip from Cheetah.
