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May 17, 2008
Fat People Cause Global Warming
If you're packing extra pounds, I hope you're pleased with yourself for what you've done to the flourishing but officially threatened polar bears. British scientists have managed to link what moonbats regard as the two greatest crises facing their country: the global warming farce and the fact that not everyone's weight conforms to official expectations.
Overweight people use up more fuel for transport and consume more food, thereby producing more dreaded carbon emissions. They also contribute to the food shortage (caused largely by biofuels) and the oil shortage (caused largely by drilling restrictions).
The researchers used models to discover that 40% of the global population is obese. Anything is possible with scientific models, which also predict chaos and destruction as a result of the imaginary global warming crisis.
We had better put the U.N. in charge of each human being's daily calorie intake, before obese people reach 101% of the population, and scientific models predict the Earth's crust collapsing beneath their weight.
On a tip from Ian from the EUSSR. Cross-posted at Right Wing News.
Posted by Van Helsing at May 17, 2008 9:26 AM
Comments
No more Fish & Chips or 'brown' food in the UK.
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 9:43 AM
Stories like this make me want to eat a polar bear. Wrapped in bacon. In front of Ingrid Newkirk.
Posted by: PabloD at May 17, 2008 9:55 AM
OT -
You might get a chuckle outta this one.
Moonbeam Cure built by MoonBat cures all things except for MoonBattery.....
http://www.foxnews.com/video/index.html?playerId=
videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralObject=
430512&referralPlaylistId=a0a4b5fbf4d5c02f7b183441e11190710e18cc22
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 10:28 AM
It's time for some very obese black or Muslim person in Britain to launch a civil rights suit against global warming proponents for causing anxiety which led to the overeating.
Maybe it'll be like one of those matter-antimatter things on Star Trek, where the whole Moonbattery machine implodes and collapses on itself.
Posted by: mega at May 17, 2008 11:00 AM
I've thought the same thing, mega. It does seem as those lefty political vortex is spinning faster and faster until it now looks ready to implode into a supernova.
Stock tip: Orville Redenbacher.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at May 17, 2008 11:34 AM
Euro-scientists determine that people who have to smile too much at work should be entitled to more breaks, because it's stressful to smile.
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2008/05/16/scientist_smiling_can_hurt_your_health/2772/
Posted by: mega at May 17, 2008 12:48 PM
There is no "oil shortage". If there was, there would be rationing or lines stretching around the block.
No, it's just speculation that there *might* be a shortage that's driving prices up.
Posted by: Who's Yer Army Dad at May 17, 2008 2:06 PM
When I read this, I cracked open a bag of Pork Rinds.
Posted by: Mister Prickly at May 17, 2008 3:16 PM
Stories like this make me want to eat a polar bear. Wrapped in bacon. In front of Ingrid Newkirk.
With a side order of Clubbed Baby Seal. I think maybe Ingrid should voluntarily throw herself in front of a Polar Bear to save it.
The Global Warming pigfuckers can have my jelly donut when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Posted by: Brooklyn Red Leg at May 17, 2008 4:01 PM
UMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm, Donutssssssssssss!
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 5:34 PM
Yawn………PETA protests horse racing industry, and nobody cares…. They showed up in force, all 12 of em.
http://www.globesports.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080517.wspt-preakness-notes17/GSStory/GlobeSportsOther/home
Want to rant about about, or create your favoriate Moonbat page - check out Dickipedia. As was mentioned on the Free Republic, it could use some counter MoonBat input. It appears to be tilted a bit to the Bat side of the Moon.
http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Main_Page
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 5:53 PM
U.S. prez race front and center at astrology convention in Denver. (must be the full moon).
So who's going to win in November?
Well it depends on the exact time of birth. McCain’s exact time is know. Clinton's birth time remains a moving target, since no one is sure if she was born before or after Sir Hillary of Mount Everest fame.
Maybe the astrologers can figure out what Obama means by change?
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20080517-0926-astrologers-candidates.html
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 6:11 PM
The UK is not going to Moonbat hell, they crossed that line years ago. Must not be enough free money handouts (welfare) for keeping the extra welfare babies in the UK.
One would think that there are better alternatives to birth control that are a bit easier to use - but then again, its FREE....
Thousands of British women have had four or more abortions, including dozens who have undergone six by the age of 30.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1976695/Thousands-of-women-have-four-abortions.html
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 7:18 PM
I just discovered your site. While I might not agree with everything, nonetheless I love your site! It's hilarious! And you are right: it is almost impossible to parody the campaign for Obama. From the Che flag in their Houston office to the Palestinian phone banks. Ten years ago I would have sworn I was reading The Onion. In another ten years our society will go so far off the rails that the writers at The Onion will have run out of material. One day there will be a message that reads something like, "Sorry, loyal readers, but we can no longer compete with the headlines and stories that appear in real newspapers, so we're shutting down." So much for irony.
Posted by: Jim Sachsen at May 17, 2008 9:00 PM
Fat people cause global warming? He-he-he.
Pull my finger.
Posted by: Jimbo at May 17, 2008 9:25 PM
Hey Jimbo,
Hope the Island Weather is treating you well EOM
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 9:31 PM
Hey Oiao,
You'd think 85/72 would get boring.
Hasn't happened yet.
Posted by: Jimbo at May 17, 2008 9:56 PM
Canada might declair war with Russa over Artic Oil.
While our MoonBat and RINO filled Congress turns corn to overly expensive and under performing fuel, and creates our demise in the world energy stage....
Russia accused of annexing the Arctic for oil reserves by Canada
What does Russia care about Global Warming, well, they scored in the ALGOR/UK carbon ponzi scheme, gaining all the credits they need at the fall of the USSR.....
Meanwhile, the USA sits on it's hands.......
It will be funny when MoonBats and Environalgors allow the New USSR to beat us in capitalism as pay back for us winning the Cold War....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/1976314/Russia-accused-of-annexing-the-Arctic-for-oil-reserves-by-Canada.html
http://www.ibdeditorials.com/IBDArticles.aspx?id=295831226052594
http://www.dirckthenoorman.com/?p=452
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=566931&in_page_id=1811
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 10:07 PM
Bride of Obama - Michelle Obama hates 'Whitey' - video rumors spark....
$1,000,000 bounty.....
http://noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/05/17/who-wants-to-be-the-next-millionaire/
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 10:26 PM
Jimbo - they still print the same weather forcast in the paper every day, regardless of the weather.
Is the E-6 and above club still on Diamond Head? Was a pretty fun place back in the early 90's.
Semper Fi!
Posted by: Oiao at May 17, 2008 10:49 PM
Another nugget from Detroit...
"Detroit Democratic Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick — whose alleged use of sexually-explicit text messages has put his job in jeopardy — has implemented a new policy that text messages on city-owned devices are now considered private. This negates the old city policy that said such communications were public."
Funny thing is, the left will most likely embrace this new policy, call him "courageous", etc...
Posted by: NudeGayWhalesForJesus at May 18, 2008 7:42 AM
Isn't Al Gore fat?
Posted by: William Teach at May 18, 2008 8:00 AM
Moonbat education-in-schools stupidity, part 457,522:
"Most likely to succeed" vote replaced with: which student is most likeky to get pregnant, contract AIDS, and die. For a sixth grade class. Organized by the teacher.
Honor student chosen; father not amused at all.
http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=64223
Posted by: mega at May 18, 2008 9:13 AM
Fat people may contribute to global warming while they're alive, but they also tend die a lot sooner.....so it's pretty much a wash.
Posted by: ed at May 18, 2008 12:22 PM
From high school, I have worked my little butt off to get to a middle-bracket butt; and I'm not about to stop now. I'll give up my fork when "they" pry it from my cold pudgy fingers.
I thought that guy said pork rinds.
Posted by: Mockinbird at May 18, 2008 1:18 PM
Michael Moore is extremetly FAT. So is Ted Kennedy - for now. He hasnt croaked ---- yet.
Posted by: Anonymous at May 18, 2008 2:07 PM
Michael Moore and ALGORED should join this org.
MoonBats on Parade in NYC - they don't eats no cows....
Article - http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/18/ap/strange/main4104949.shtml
Website (check out the pics) - http://www.veggieprideparade.org
Posted by: Oiao at May 18, 2008 3:09 PM
Yawn………PETA protests horse racing industry, and nobody cares…. They showed up in force, all 12 of em.
Big Brown and the Triple Crown!!! Go, go, go, and win the Belmont Stakes!!!!
OK, that would be my "outburst of the day".
Posted by: HoosierArmyMom at May 19, 2008 8:41 AM
