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March 23, 2008
Klaatu Arrives Too Late to Save Planet from Imaginary Crisis
In the Cold War classic The Day the Earth Stood Still, an alien named Klaatu threatens to destroy the world if we won't stop squabbling. Though the Earth may stand still, Tinseltown has moved on to new causes for which to propagandize in the remake:
Fifty years later and Klaatu has a new message for humanity, but one with equally dire consequences should we choose to ignore it, Keanu Reeves, who is playing the alien in Scott Derrickson's upcoming remake, told MTV News.
"The first one was borne out of the cold war and nuclear détente. Klaatu came and was saying cease and desist with your violence. If you can't do it yourselves we're going to do it. That was the film of that day," Reeves explained. "The version I was just working on, instead of being man against man, it's more about man against nature. My Klaatu says that if the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the earth survives. I'm a friend to the earth."
If it's global warming Klaatu insists on saving us from, he got here a little late. Even the U.N. admits the warming trend has ended.
Too bad heavy-handed do-gooders from outer space don't land in Hollywood and demand it stop spewing moonbattery long enough to make some watchable movies.

On a tip from wz.
Posted by Van Helsing at March 23, 2008 7:31 PM
Comments
Surely this will be a comedy.
Posted by: Kristy at March 23, 2008 7:43 PM
"Too bad heavy-handed do-gooders from outer space don't land in Hollywood and demand it stop spewing moonbattery long enough to make some watchable movies."
LOL! Now that you mention it, that would be a pretty cool idea for a remake!
The alien comes and says something like, "Look, all you Hollywood wackjobs are less concerned with making films that inspire and entertain people, and more concerned with cranking out crap to push your agenda on the public. Keep this up, and people will stop going to movies, Hollywood will die, and you all will have to get real jobs." Instantly, this revelation causes all the glitterpigs to change their ways!
Posted by: Adam at March 23, 2008 7:49 PM
I have to admit, I thought the original was somewhat boring. In fact I was bored to tears by it when I was 10 (maybe disappointed is a better word), and it didn't get any better by the time I reached 50.
I think I'll skip the remake.
Posted by: Jimbo at March 23, 2008 7:56 PM
The original had a very strong christian message, somewhat marred by the heavy-handed "you must live in utopian peace or we'll nuke you" addendum... such is life.
Posted by: Archonix at March 24, 2008 4:36 AM
The only way I would see this movie is if Im incredibly bored and its on free TV.
Keanu Reeves? Good choice - this will be his worst film since JOHNNY MNEMONIC. Will Keanu say things like "Duuuuuuuuuude! Ya gotta stop spewing that CO2 or, like, the Earth will end up like a roast on spit over an open fire!"
Tom Cruise would have been a better choice as his in depth knowledge of LORD XENU would make him a natural for the role.
Posted by: Anonymous at March 24, 2008 4:58 AM
Will the robots name GORT be changed to GORE? LOL!
Posted by: Anonymous at March 24, 2008 5:02 AM
Just what people want to see at the movies, a bunch of pompous preaching. Say good-bye to your money whomever is backing this.
Posted by: Kevin at March 24, 2008 7:43 AM
I think a better movie would be, "The day Berkely stood still"
It will be about a giant Marine coming home from the war to find code pink protesting him.
He will then set fire to Berkely and the moonbats.
Fresh will be played by Keanue Reeves!
Posted by: UCA at March 24, 2008 8:38 AM

