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February 13, 2008
Global Warming Killed Loch Ness Monster
Someone has been discovered who has actually been affected by the phantom global warming phenomenon — a famous personage who will be dearly missed after his CO2-induced demise: the Loch Ness Monster.
Legendary Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years. […] Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.
I thought Nessie was some kind of dinosaur. Wouldn't he be better suited to warm weather than cold? If Nessie couldn't take the mild warming trend we experienced back in the 1990s, it's probably curtains for Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman too. Even aliens might affected, considering that global warming has been found on Mars and Neptune.
Try to live with all that next time you start up your SUV.
On a tip from General Jack D. Ripper.
Posted by Van Helsing at February 13, 2008 6:59 AM
Comments
Compound moonbattery. Good stuff.
Posted by: forest at February 13, 2008 7:31 AM
wonder how the fairies are doing?
Posted by: nanc at February 13, 2008 7:48 AM
How exactly did these things survive the warming 1,000 years ago when Vikings were farming in Greenland? You cant grow any crops in Greenland today, despite the alleged warming. And if there was only 1 left, it was bound to die anyway. And why hasnt anyone found the bones or a corpse? Oh wait - something has to actually exist first. Yoi!
Posted by: Anonymous at February 13, 2008 7:49 AM
An imaginary creature killed off by an imaginary crisis. Seems perfect.
Posted by: Golden at February 13, 2008 8:44 AM
Hold on there, Sparky!
First of all, Nessie is a female!
Nessie is still alive, but on paid leave!
Lastly, It's Global WOMENING, not Global Warming!
Posted by: Mockinbird at February 13, 2008 10:26 AM
The guy spent 37 years looking for Nessie? I would have given up after 10 years.
Posted by: baldeagle390 at February 13, 2008 10:38 AM
It is just as likely that trans-gendered illegal aliens from Mexico in frogman suits anally raped Nessie to give it dinosaur AIDS, or that it died from a botched back alley abortion procedure. See, I can play politics with his imaginary animal too.
Posted by: BelchSpeak at February 13, 2008 11:13 AM
Oh man! I'll bet global warming has killed off the sasquatch too. This is worse than I'd thought.
Posted by: Kevin at February 13, 2008 3:29 PM
Myth kills myth...
Posted by: DANEgerus at February 13, 2008 5:27 PM
There's a funny story and GREAT picture about it here from this guy:
http://wattsupwiththat.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/global-warming-killed-nessie/
Posted by: vixt at February 13, 2008 6:18 PM
its so cute i have 2 write about in skool its my 2 nights homework>
Posted by: Anonymous at February 19, 2008 5:36 PM
